The Irrefutable Flame⎪✓

❨12❩

♀︎

The weekend is over and my head is currently pounding, the thought of me being sick for work today sucks since I have no help in my shop. I only hired a delivery guy, but he doesn't know how to manage the cash register and he doesn't have any knowledge of flowers whatsoever. It's so incredibly annoying, but I have to listen to myself and what my body is telling me. I'm my own boss and that provides a little bit of freedom, but the issue is that I don't want freedom. I want to work and I want my shop to flourish. 

It probably would be best for me to hire an employee in the shop, but I'm almost never sick, and having to pay them is a little too much right now. It's unfortunate because I truly do want some help and maybe some company while working. It gets kind of lonely standing there day in and day out, not having anyone to talk to, besides the amazing customers of course.

Groaning, I roll around in my bed for the twentieth time today, it's a little past afternoon and I've literally been cooped up in here for hours. It frustrates me to be forced to be lazy, having nothing to do with my hours is really getting to me. 

When I was a teenager, I loved the days off, I could watch TV, sleep the day away, hear music, but it isn't the same in adulthood. I'm convinced it's because of the nagging feeling that you're losing money by snoozing around. Relaxing isn't what I need right now, I need to work and create a living for myself.

I decide to go downstairs and grab some food, making sure that I have something in my system that can help me feel better. I have to be on top again tomorrow, it's not fair of me to close the shop two days in a row. Picking out toast, some ham, and an apple, I arrange the food on a plate, taking it with me outside to eat and breathe some fresh air. I've always heard that water, fresh air, and food will make you feel better and that's what I live by now. 

Sitting down on the bench I look onto the street, people-watching is one of my hobbies. It's something I've picked up during my time here in Hetdale. I love creating their entire life story in my mind, judging by the way they walk, dress, possibly talk. It's freeing and I like the outcome of different stories. 

So to give my mind a little rest from all the confusing emotions these days, I choose to focus on other people. Seeing a dad walking with his little girl, I make up that he's a stay at home dad, they're on their way to her favorite ice cream parlor where they'll laugh and create memories. He will be there for her graduation, see her grow old and her memories will always fall back to those hours they spent in their favorite ice cream parlor.

I smile a little, biting into the toast and sighing by finally eating something. It's my own fault that I'm so hungry, but I just didn't feel like making breakfast this morning. Now I'm suffering the ruthless consequences, which is why I enjoy every last bite of my meal, savoring the taste and enjoying how full my stomach finally feels. 

An elderly woman walks by and our eyes meet, she smiles at me, but the happiness doesn't reach her eyes. I wonder if she recently experienced heartbreak, her expression says it all and I immediately feel bad that I can't do anything to help her. Seeing the elderly going through something painful has to be one of the worst things to witness, I definitely hate it. They deserve their peace and quiet. 

When I'm done eating, I drink the tall glass of cold water I brought out here and slowly the headache dulls. It really works wonders to take care of yourself while being sick, my mom loved to tuck me into bed when I was sick as a child, she wanted to make me sweat everything out. I hated it though. Now I consciously choose to stay in the fresh air, although making sure I'm not cold. 

I have to get well again and soon, especially before Saturday where Will's wedding is being held. No way in hell will I miss the wedding and I want to see the whole squad from high school, too, except Tyler of course, but he doesn't want to see me either. 

Dani texted me yesterday and I promised to be on my best behavior, not that I would do anything irrational at an event like that. It's not my day to 'shine'. 

I do find it funny how little faith Dani has in me though, she always has to make sure I'm being the friendliest ever. I wasn't the most polite human in high school and I guess some of my rude comments still traumatize her, I can't really blame her. Especially after those countless arguments with the lunch lady, Gretha. 

Perhaps Dani needs to witness that I can be professional and polite to strangers, because I can. Having 'Life in Bloom' has changed me for the better, and I now have the insane skill of shutting my mouth even though fume is coming out of my ears. That's life when you experience some annoying customers. 

A car shutting off shakes me out of my thoughts and I see Elijah leave his truck, he spots me almost instantly. His eyes are gazing into my own and my heart flutters when he smiles brightly, the simple action is enough to provoke my body. Instead of walking towards his own home, he approaches me. The shirt he has on is straining against his muscles, the sight of his jeans pressing against his legs is too much for me and I bite my lip.

"Hey, love," He says and walks up the stairs on my porch, placing a brown bag on the table in front of me. "I was hoping you were home, because I found this amazing restaurant and thought it would be an amazing opportunity of spending some time with you and trying to make up for how I acted in Barnsley."

My heart warms when he places multiple plates in front of me, ranging from burgers to chicken to pasta. After he pulls the sixth packet of ketchup from the bag I laugh, he smiles at me, "One can never have too much ketchup in your company."

"Are you implying that I have a problem?" I laugh. 

"I most definitely am," He nods with a smirk. "Are you implying that you don't?"

"Fine," I say with a huff and urge for him to join me on the bench. The two of us eat in a comfortable silence and a serene smile falls upon my lips, this has been missed. I've missed how comfortable I am around him, simply by him being here I feel lighter on my feet. 

"Dakota," He says with a serious tone and turns to me, I nod at him. "I really am sorry for all of the shit I said to you that day at my apartment, it had been a rough week for me, but I shouldn't have taken it out on you. And I definitely shouldn't have let you leave like that."

Hearing his apology shocks me and I'm surprised by how relieved it makes me feel. Apparently, I needed to hear him say those words, I needed to hear him tell me what went down. The curiosity of what happened during that week eats at me, but I don't want to pressure him into saying anything. So instead I wrap my arms around his torso and lean my head on his chest, his arm tugs me closer and we simply enjoy the feeling of being close again.