The Irrefutable Flame⎪✓

❨13❩

♀︎

The crisp air hugs my body as soon as I step outside, the morning is quite beautiful and I take a deep breath before I lock the door. My pounding head has dimmed down during the night and today I'm certain I can work again, which feels completely amazing. The shop and taking care of my job are the two most important things in my life, I have to honor them by showing up and doing my absolute best at all times. 

Quickly checking my purse and making sure I have everything I need, keys, wallet, socks, everything's here. The door next to mine suddenly slams shut and I can immediately feel his eyes on me. My heart pounds in my chest, and I turn to him while walking down the stairs and towards the sidewalk. Giving him a small nod, I start my venture to work. 

Loud and fast footsteps sound from behind me, and before I know it, my body is gently tugged and turned around by a hand on my arm. His touch on me again sends shivers through my body, I kind of hate myself for feeling like that. He stands right in front of me, his smile leaves me breathless. Trying not to show an inch of emotion on my face proves to be impossible, as I pull my arm free from his grab, the flutters were becoming too much. It's frustrating how his touch affects me.

"Can I help you with anything?" I challenge him with a smile on my face. 

He searches my eyes, the question hiding behind his stare has me weak in the knees, "Was my attempt at getting on your good side that bad, huh?"

My feelings for him are spiraling and I feel a sudden jab in my chest, the thought of that woman leaving his house hits me all at once and frustrates me. To be honest, I'm reacting like this because of how hurt I am. The reality of what seeing him with another made me feel, and then on top of everything else right now, it's becoming too much. I miss the way we were in college before everything happened. 

"I have work, Elijah," I turn around again, trying to get away from him and his stare. Unfortunately, he steps in front of me blocking my path. "Move."

"Wait," He holds up his hands, sending me a deeply confused glance. "What's happening here?"

"Nothing," I state and move around him, he grabs my arm again. A small gasp leaves my lips by the contact and when I look at him, his face is so close to mine. Too close. This really takes me back and I find myself wishing things were different, wishing how we could have worked on our relationship. We could've been great, but I ran away from him and none of us spoke to each other again. This is the sad reality of our actions.  

"Love," He falters, his green eyes are flickering between my own. "Don't start this shit again."

He's got it all wrong, I'm not starting anything. On the contrary, I'm trying to end things and allow him to be with whoever he wants. He's too confusing and difficult for me to deal with, I can't have someone like that close to me. If only things could be as they were, where we made each other happy all the time. "What do you mean by 'again'?" I ask him, not having any clue what he's talking about. 

"You're pushing me away, just like you did in high school and college."

"Is that honestly what you think I'm doing?" I ask him, pursing my lips making his eyes fall onto them. He still hasn't released my arm and him looking at my lips like that, it's dangerous territory. I release a shaky breath and he bites his lower lip, finally meeting my eyes again. The lust dancing with the hurt is confusing my mind.

"That's what I know, not what I think," He insists, my hormones are on overdrive when I hear the slight husky tone his voice has and I desperately try to ignore it. He shouldn't have this grip on me anymore, I don't want him here.

"I can't do this right now, Elijah," I release my arm from his grip, taking a step away from him. "Work's calling and since I stayed home yesterday, I really have to be there."

He frowns and tilts his head to the side, "I never got to ask, why were you home yesterday?"

"I was sick."

"You should've told me, love," He stresses. "I could've made you some soup instead of simply ordering junk."

His need to care suddenly annoys the shit out of me, my mind blames my hormones for acting like this, "Funny how this worrying was gone Friday night and morning, huh?"

"What are you talking about?"

I can't tell him, it's ridiculous and I come off as jealous. He can sleep with whoever he wants, as long as he stays away from me in the process. But then again, I find myself caring who he spends his time with, I care that it isn't me. I fucking hate myself. These thoughts are swarming my mind, making it hard for me to breathe. 

"Nothing," I defend myself and shake my head, crossing my arms in front of my chest. 

"Tell me what the hell you're talking about."

His anger triggers mine and I glare into his eyes, "The fuck I won't, you very well know."

I can't control my frustration when his voice booms, "You were drinking with Finn! Do you expect me to sit at home and mope?" 

"Fucking rich coming from the guy who slept with another woman!" I spit, the anger rolling off me in waves. "And his name is Flynn."

"I don't give a shit what his name is, you're not being yourself when you're with him. You're usually so outspoken and stubborn, not some fucking muppet that never says anything slightly unexpected," He growls, his eyes turning darker with anger and I realize we're completely wasting time by yelling at each other on the freaking street. "And I didn't sleep with her, she was there to discuss business from the station about one of the firefighters. She is a married woman."

"Stop acting as if you know me, Black," I sneer, ignoring his last statement. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have responsibilities to tend to." 

Without another glance I stalk away from him, my body shaking in annoyance and anger. I hate the repetitive way of acting between him and I; it seems so unnecessary afterward. During the arguments, I can't stop myself from saying these stupid and hurtful things all the fucking time. We're both in the wrong, but that only confirms how I need to stay away. He's bad news and I'm bad news in his company.