Save Me

Chapter 18

I'm currently on a bus sat next to a bastard (her words not mine) who is drinking a juice box. We are on a 5 hour bus journey to London and it's 5 am (we left at 4:30 am).

Sam's POV

We are all waiting news on Peter who Bruce stabilised almost 21 hours ago, but who's counting? We were told by Banner that he had two shattered wrists and a shattered kneecap. He also has 3 broken ribs and a dislocated shoulder purely from the impact. I was congratulated a couple times for my quick thinking, but I can't except the compliments right now. Tony hasn't left Peter's side since the mission and I have only left a couple times for Jay.

I'm upstairs currently, making Jay a sandwich whilst trying not to have a mental breakdown and a panic attack. It's all my fault he's in this condition. I saw the detonator, I could've done something! But my dumbass decided it would be a good idea to watch as tonnes of rubble and debris land on my boyfriend! "Mom, whatever you're thinking, stop," Jay says, bringing me back to reality.

I force a smile, but I can tell he sees right through it. "I'm okay, Sunshine," I say and I get back to making Jay food.

"No you're not, Mom! I know this is hard on you, but you need to stop blaming yourself." He pulls me into a tight hug and we stay in that position for a while. "Please, Mom."

At this point I have tears streaming down my face. "How am I supposed to stop blaming myself when it's all my fault?" I whisper into his soft hair. "I saw the detonator, and do you know what I did?"

"Mo-."

"I groaned. I groaned in annoyance and watched as Peter got crushed, when I knew I could've easily prevented it," I pull out of the hug, to see a couple years slip from his eyes too. "I watched as he was crying in pain Jay," I barely whisper.

"You did all you could've done, and you got him out of th-."

"No, Jay!" I yell, even startling myself a little bit. "It was well within my power to stop this from happening and I didn't do anything! I watched on the sidelines, too caught up that Handler was there. I should know that my priority is always you guys' safety. But did I listen to the only fucking ounce of common sense I had left in me? No! Because I had to be the annoying teenager that never does anything for the team!" I collapse against the wall, tears cascading down my face, sobs racking through my body.

Jay knows me well enough to not deny what I've said, as that would only make the situation worse. Instead, he shifts into and adorable Labrador puppy and cautiously approaches me. When he knows I'm calm enough to be safe around, he slowly steps onto my lap. I allow him to do so and we just sit there, drowning in our own sorrows. That is, until Steve walks in the room. I set Jay down quickly and turn around as fast as I can do he doesn't see the tears.

"Hey, Sam," Steve says. Although we had bad blood before, he's trying. It's still a bit tense between us, but it's not that bad.

"Hey Steve," I reply, going back to Jay's sandwich and finishing it off, still facing away from Steve.

I hear a sigh before he speaks up again. "Look Sam, I know this is hard on you right now, but what you did was truly incredible. You're easily one of, if not then the, most strongest member on the team.  I understand the doubt and self-depreciation that often runs through your mind, I can tell it does, even with that stone cold expression," he chuckles a little before continuing. "I guess I'm just trying to say that you're truly amazing, the team wouldn't be the same without you." After he finishes, he leaves the room and, although he can't hear, I whisper a small 'Thank you'.

I give Jay (who is once again in human form) his food and then start making my own. As I'm about to take the first bite, Banner runs in the room. "He's awake," is all he says before running off, presumably to tell the others. I immediately drop my sandwich back on the plate and shift into a cheetah, running as fast as I can down to the med bay.

I come crashing in through the doors, literally. I couldn't stop myself at the speed I was going. I quickly shift back and run towards the bed that Peter is in, grabbing his other hand (Stark has one) straight away. He looks at me with the same, gorgeous chocolatey eyes. "Good morning," he croaks out, very groggily. I giggle a bit before pointing at the clock in the room, indicating that it was 2 pm. "Good afternoon," he repeats, making Stark chuckle a bit, ruffling his hair.

"Hi," I say, although it's barely audible. He gives me his million dollar smile before he grimaces.

"Was everything always this painful?" He asks jokingly, but I look away in shame. I caused this. I caused him all this pain. It's all my fault. I- 

"Hey hey hey," he says, brushing away a stray tear that I didn't even realise existed until now. "It's okay. You're ok, I'm ok, everyone's ok!" He says with his goofy grin (well, however goofy it can get when he's in pain). He notices that his comments didn't lift the mood at all. "Dad? Can you give us a moment," he says to Stark (yes Irondad is here. What you gonna do about it?). Stark doesn't respond, he just gets up and leaves. "What's the matter?" Peter whispers soothingly.

I shake my head and laugh dryly. "It's stupid," I say, trying to get him to drop the subject.

"If it makes you upset then it isn't stupid," he reassures. I contemplate lying to him, but I couldn't do that. Not to Peter.

I sigh before deciding it was best I tell him. "It's just-, it was my fault. I could've prevented all this, and- and I-." I start crying again. What's wrong with me?

He wraps his arm around my small frame, pulling me in as far as he could while bedridden. "None of it was your fault. Even if you were going to do something, what would you have done?" I prepare myself to go on a full rant of what I could've done, but Peter cuts me off, "you know what? Don't answer that."

I giggle slightly, trying to wipe away as many tears as I can. He helps me wipe away anything I missed, but that backfires as he pulls me in for a kiss. We kiss passionately for a couple minutes when Jay runs in and jumps on Peter's bed. "Hey Jay!" Peter says happily, ruffling his hair.

Everybody else comes in to check on Peter and Jay rolls his eyes. "They were all eavesdropping but no one wanted to interrupt you guys, so I had to step in because you can't have your first time together on a hospital bed while you're both injured and the overprotective family outside being creeps."

"Jay!"

"Tell me I'm wrong," he says, giving Clint a pointed look.

After Bruce quickly checks Peter over, he's given the all clear but is told to take it easy. Peter was not happy when he was told he couldn't go on patrol for at least a week, but I promised I would go out for him. It's at times like these when I wonder...

What did I do to ever deserve such an amazing family?