I'm Already Going to Hell

Cas the Cockblock

When I woke up from my not so lovely kidnapping I was strapped to a board, or like a chair of some sort. I tried to shift out of the board but the restraints didn't allow me to move an inch. I cursed inwardly as the zip ties cut into my skin and I wiggled to get more comfortable. The door opened and I glanced up, finding Cas standing in the doorway with a saddened expression.

"Lexi, I am sorry for binding you in such material, and for taking you away from your current.....event."

"Did you do that just to be a cock block? I thought you were over me Cas" I said, wincing as the roped wrapped around my skin.

"We have a problem."

"Nothing new, spit it out, what happened?"

"Dean and Sam, Crowley, the Colt-"

"Just zap me there Cas" I said, looking at him. He nodded and before I could blink, I was zapped inside the Impala.

"Say, I've got an idea" A familiar voice says next to me (in the back seat), then Dean lunges torwards the voice, stabbing the seat. I scream and both of the boys look at me.

"Hey Lexi, long time no see."

"Hey, care to explain why you almost stabbed me?" I was interrupted by a knock on the window. All of us turned to see Crowley leaning against the Impala.

"Fancy a fag and a chat? You're upset. We should discuss it. Not here,but --" The voice is interrupted by Sam and Dean moving out of the car, leaving me in the back to observe.

"You want to talk? After what you did to us?" Sam said.

"After what I --what I did to you?! I gave you the Colt!" Crowley said, his voice going unusually high. Oh, it's my lovely stalker.  I took that chance to get out of the car, watching as the boys almost looked like they were going to stab him.

"Yeah, and you knew it wouldn't work against the devil!" He replied, Dean looking at Sam like he made the best comeback ever.

Crowley gasped. "I never!" Then, he directed his attention towards me "Hello love, haven't seen you in a while" He smirked, me waving back. He directed his attention towards the Winchesters again. I sat there and watched the three of them go at it like angry siblings, not like I would know about that. Last thing I saw was a streetlight explode then we appeared in a room, an abandoned house.

They continued to argue until I heard something about hex bags, so I zoned back in.

"We got hex bags. We're hidden from demons." Sam said, looking at Dean.

"All but one. That night you broke into my house, our first date, my valet hid a tracking device in your car --A magical coin that easily trumps your little bags o' bones. It allows me to hear things, too --and, my, the things I've heard." Crowley winks at me, turning me a deep shade of red. "So you want to cram the devil back in the box? Cunning scheme. I want in."

"You said you could get us pestilence." Dean finally blurted out.

"Well, now...I don't know where pestilence is...per se. But I do know the demon who does. He's what you might call the horsemen's stable boy. He handles their itineraries, their personal needs. He's who you want --believe me. He'll tell us where sneezy's at." Crowley said, looking at me.

"Well, how do we get him to spill? Rip out his toenails?" Dean replied.

"No. Nuts at his pay grade don't crack. We bring him here, then I sell him."

"Sell him?" Sam said, looking at the two others.

"Please. I've sold sin to saints for centuries. Think I can't close one little demon?"

"All right, so where's this demon of yours?" Dean finally said, seeming like they finally agreed with eachother for the first time in forever. I need to get some fresh air, too much testosterone....

I walked outside and faced a forest, the sun peeking through the trees.

"Dang, I dunno how Crowley picks these places out, they're beautiful" I said, looking around. Even though it was an abandoned house, it still looked beautiful. I took a few breaths and walked through the door, only to get almost plowed over by all three of them walking out.

"Why are we even listening to him, Dean? This is totally insane." Sam said.

"I don't disagree."

"One big happy family, are we, then? Fantastic." Crowley said, putting his arm around me, kissing my temple when the boys weren't looking.

"You ready to go?" Dean said, looking at Crowley and I.

"Yes. Yes. I am. Sam, keep the home fires burning." Crowley replied, looking over at Sam. He quirked a brow, then his face changed to anger.

"What are you talking about?" I said, looking at him.

"Sam's not coming."

"And why the hell not?" Sam said, butting in.

"Because I don't like you...I don't trust you...And -- oh, yes --You keep trying to kill me."

"There's no damn way. This isn't gonna happen!"

"I'm not asking you, am I? 'cause you're not invited. I'm asking you." he pointed at Dean "What's it gonna be?" A pause settled, then Crowley scoffed "Gentlemen...Enjoy your last few sunsets."

"Wait. I'll go" Dean said. Sam raised his eyebrows at Dean  "What can I say? I believe the guy."

"Also, Lexi. Keep her here."

"And why should I stay here?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Because I don't want you to get hurt" He walked up to me and kissed me on the forehead, earning multitudes of looks from the boys, then winked at me and got into the car, screeching off, leaving Sam and I at the house.

"Welp, what do we do now?" I said.

"I'm gonna call Bobby, you can do whatever I guess" Sam said, still uneasy about the kiss that Crowley had put on me. Sam and I went back inside, him talking about how Dean just ditched him for the King of the Crossroads. I sat down on the couch, then Crowley mentally butted into my head.

'Sorry about leaving you back at the house. It's just that we're going to fight pestilence, and I didn't want anything bad to happen to you....no hard feelings?'  His voice filled my mind.

'Fine, no hard feelings. Just..stay safe and don't get hurt, okay?'

'Honey, the King of Hell doesn't get hurt. I promise I will come back fully alive.'

'You better.'

We stopped talking and I eventually dozed off to sleep, Sam still talking to Bobby in the background.