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David Attenborough: And here we see a rather unique and hairless species known as the Deppheads! Named after their proud and extreme love of the one known as Johnny Depp. Though the price of fame is high and it can get extremely humid under the spotlight for Johnny, the Deppheads are always there to fan him and keep him cool and humble! But what's this? The heartless, scaley, cold-blooded reptile known as Ambitch, approaches to snatch Johnny up in her unhinged jaw! Johnny sees the horrid predators and freezes in fear of what she will do next. The air is tense, what will the next move be? Will the frigid, carnivorous Ambitch strike or will Johnny flee for his life? And if he does, will he make it to safety in time or be run down? But what's this? The Depphead's have formed a protective circle around their beloved Johnny! The ones on the inside of the circle hug him and whisper word of encouragement in his ears. While the ones on the outside of the circle shout warnings at the predatory Ex-wife! Oh! Now the outer Depphead's launch forward in viscious attack mode and chase the Ambitch off! While the rest remain snuggling with Johnny, the attack party returns at sundown, covered in dirt and blood, but victorious none the less! They offer Johnny a raggedy chunk of a blond hair extension most definitely yanked from the head of the now defeated predator, as a sign of reassurance that she will not be back to disturb him. The Depphead's then fall asleep in a pile of pillows surrounding their Johnny, so he feels safe and secure, they do too, knowing they have done their job right.
