Sterling

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Jungkook didn't even know why the words tumbled out, and why it all tumbled out so quickly. He was doing just fine not spilling and going around telling everyone his little crush on Taehyung, and what possessed him to even do it in the first place was beyond him. So, when the words came out and he registered just what s had voiced our for all of Taehyung's friends to hear-even the school-his eyes widened and boy stiffened.

This was so not what he should've said right now. He should've just kept his mouth shut and continued denying any sort of feelings he had for the small brunette boy. He didn't need Jimin and the other two to come after him and rip him into tiny shreds of nothing. And he definitely didn't want this getting back to Taehyung either, not until he fixed things between them, and even then he was afraid of what he would say and how he would react.

Having a crush on Taehyung wasn't something he had planned. He's had it for a few weeks now, and all it's been doing is getting stronger and stronger. He's been doing his best to suppress them for as long as he could, but every chance he got to be with Taehyung, got to talk to him, touch him, laugh and smile with him, all of it was like a dream come true, and he took advantage of it, but he also savored their moments together.

He didn't expect Taehyung to return his feelings in any way, shape, or form, and after everything he's been doing to the small brunette boy; ignoring and avoiding him all because of some meaningless rumors, he knew he had to have hated him by now, and quite honestly, Jungkook didn't blame him.

He didn't blame Taehyung for being so cold to him. He didn't blame the brunette to act as if he's not hurt by his choice of actions. He didn't blame the younger for ignoring him as well, because he more than deserved everything Taehyung would do to him, whether if that were to yell and curse him out, hit him and tell him to go to hell, not trust him and cut the older out of his life completely-he didn't blame him if the younger resorted into any of these options.

He didn't blame him if he hated him with every fiber in his body. And with all the ignoring and avoiding, he didn't expect him to take it all so well. He knew all he was doing was hurting him, and it hurt Jungkook knowing what he was causing. It hurt him knowing he was one of the reasons causing Taehyung so much pain, and he could see it in the younger's eyes when he looked at him.

Behind that mask was so much pain and bitterness, and it was someone who just wanted to be loved, cared for, and accepted in this cruel world when no one else would. All he's been been through was hell, both home and school life weren't the perfect pictures everyone would assume. Jungkook didn't even know what was going on when he arrived home after school everyday, and he had no clue if he would ever find out.

He did want Taehyung back, though. He wanted to hear his deep voice and angelic laugh. He wanted to see his face break out into that beautiful boxy grin, and show off those perfect set of teeth. He wanted to be his reason to smile once again, he wanted to be able to see him, talk to him, hold him, and just be his. But here he was, fucking up all of his chances to grow closer with the younger boy, and what could he do about it?

Nothing.

Taehyung would barely even look at him now, and it all hurt so much. He hated himself for causing Taehyung so much pain and suffering. He wished he could take it all back and start fresh, be there for him, not ignore him, not pick up that damned note and read it, not avoid him, and just be there for him and hold that fragile boy in his arms. As much as he yearned for it-for Taehyung and his touch-he knew it wasn't going to be that easy for the younger to gain his trust back for him.

He somehow had to prove to Taehyung he wasn't going to leave, and that he was going to be right by his side through everything. How he was going to do it, he had no idea, but he was determined to figure something out. If that meant bothering him until he finally gave in and gave Jungkook the chance to talk so they could sort their differences out, and allow the raven-haired boy to apologize and show and prove to him just how sorry he was, then he would do it without a doubt.