again

one.

I open my eyes, and he's gone.
I exhale sharply, he's really gone.

My knees give out, and I collapse to the floor, tears streaming down my face.
"Come back!" I shout

"Lucifer- come back. I need you!" my throat feels like barbed wire, tightly squeezing, burning with each word

I look over the railing, hoping for something, anything. I find nothing, because he's gone.
Pushing myself back, I lean against the door, crying.

"Lucifer come back," I whisper, crying into my hands "please." I scream, hopelessly

After about an hour of pointless waiting, I slowly walk back into Lucifers penthouse, it feels empty.
What's the point of lux without Lucifer?

I grab the first bottle I see off of Lucifers stocked bar, and pour a cup,
Looking up, I notice a second glass on the piano, one with something already in it,
it's Lucifers.

I set my cup down, shakily making my way to his piano,
I look at the cup closely, spinning it in my hand,
It falls, hits the ground and smashes, I gasp.

In a way, I relate to the stupid cup, because the cup is shattered, like my heart.

I grab the bottle, leaving the broken glass on the ground, I make my way to lucifers bed.
How I've dreamed of sleeping in this bed, with him. But now I'm laying here, alone.
I pull his blankets to my face, his scent still on them.

Why tell me it's all real? Why tell me who he is, and make me fall in love with him if he was just going to leave anyways?
What was the point?

I bring the bottle to my mouth and drink, some dribbles down my chin so I wipe it,
I drink until I empty the bottle.

Then, I bury my face in the pillow and let myself drift to another place.

- -

I reach out, to find nothing but cold sheets.
I groan.

My phone chimes and I stretch, reaching for it.
I search blindly under the pillows until I find it,

I bring it to my face, burning my eyes.
It's a text from Maze, a text from Dan, and three missed calls from the precinct.

I open my phone and click Mazes name, and call her. She lets it ring a couple times before she picks up,

"What do you want Decker? I'm kinda in the middle of something." She says, obviously referring to something sexual

"Maze, I need you to come to the penthouse," I say, my voice is almost completely gone

"Why? Are you okay?" She asks, I nod pointlessly, knowing she can't hear me,

"Yeah, I'm-im fine. Just- come, please?" I ask again

"Who do you think I am? I'm already on my way." She says, passionately
I hang up, my head pounding.

I text Dan, telling him I'm too sick to come in, and I set my phone down again.

I grab the bottle beside the bed, only to realize it's emptiness. I slam it back down, waiting to hear it's shatter but it doesn't,

I grab my phone and slip it into my pocket, I'm still wearing yesterday's clothes.
The last time I was here without Lucifer, it was when Lucifer left on my birthday.

If I hadn't gone to Rome, and been selfish, I would've had more time with him, if I hadn't tried to kill him, if I just believed him, or accepted him, maybe he'd still be here.

I sit in my own sorrow as I wait for Maze, she'll know what to do.

The elevator dings and Maze walks out, her knives in hand, "what'd he do? Why were you crying?" She asks, looking me up and down, she grabs my cheek looking at the tear stains

"Where is he?" She asks, angrily

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about-" I start

"Where is he?" She persists

"He- He went back," I whisper, tears forming back in my eyes "to hell."

"What?" She asks, softly, she sounds heartbroken, you can see the hurt in her eyes

"Why? When? Chloe why did he- how could he leave me here?"

"He left last night- he said something about the demons coming back, he said-" I start but I stop myself

"He said what, chloe?"

"The prophecy was wrong, Eve was never his first love, he said I was." I whisper, short of air, I look up at her "how do I get him back?" I ask, a single tear finding it's way down my cheek

"I'm sorry Chloe, you don't get it." She states,

"Just tell me how to get him back!" I cry, angrily  "I'll do anything!"

"You can't! Don't you get it? He went back to hell and he's not coming back! He left us and he's not coming back!" She shouts, throwing a knife at the wall, it bounces off the stone.

"Why?" I ask, she shakes her head

"That's what I have to find out.." she says, as if in deep thought

"What's the plan?" I ask, she shakes her head again
"I don't know, Decker." She admits, "I don't know."