chapter thirteen | documenting life's real monsters

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happy 2020, friends! thank you so much for all your support in 2019. darcy's story continues to be my main priority for this year and i'm excited for what's to come. thanks for the patience, and please read the author's note at the end for a longer update. kindly let me know of any weird typos and mistakes. dedicated to my friend thya @twentyonepilxts- for being my beta reader and just being overall great <3

RECAP: after the passing of sylvia, the woman who owned the orphanage darcy was in, darcy decides to have an "us" day with her papa. she finds boxes containing some old belongings of richard's late wife and son, evellyn and gray. darcy decides to distribute some of their items throughout the apartment, including an old record player that richard gets to work. he dances to "rainbow connection," his wedding song and dance choreographed by his late wife. darcy cries over their loss and hatches a plan. she invites chris over and asks him to be her dance partner.

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"Your dance partner?"

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"Your dance partner?"

I forced a nod despite the whispers of insecurity trying to coerce me out of my plan. I pushed forward before they could get the best of me and recounted to Chris all the details from today – from breakfast, to the boxes, to all the decorating. Despite myself, when it was finally time to tell Chris the real truth behind Gray and Evellyn's death, I couldn't help the tears that came again. With it, came the same haunting words.

Keep it in or keep it quiet.

I paused. Clenched a fist. Breathed in. Breathed out.

It's okay to cry. I'm safe. It's okay.

Chris placed his hand over my fist. He remained silent as I continued taking in deep, shaky breaths.

It's okay, it's okay, I continued to tell myself.

Eventually, I was able to tell him all of it, even as tears streamed down my cheeks and dripped down my chin like a faucet that wasn't fully turned off. I hoped I wouldn't have to tell this part of their story again for a long while. And now that Papa and I are beginning to talk more about them, I hoped I could learn more of the beginning and the middle and not be left with just the tragic ending. 

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