Memory Documentation

chapter seventeen | documenting the way they are by my side

happy july, friends! big thanks to laavanya, lebookworm07, for the wonderful cover. song attached  is very fitting for a particular little scene in this chapter. give it a listen, kindly let me know of any typos/mistakes, and enjoy xx

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"If you hear music, dance!"

- Sleeping Beauty

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Despite starting on a downer of a note this morning, the entire school day was as great as it could have been. I spent some time at lunch talking with Mrs. Ichikawa, felt bold enough to answer discussion questions in my AP Literature and Composition class, asked a girl to be my partner for our yearly project in chemistry, and even offered to hand out papers back in world history. One of my classmates, who has never exchanged a single word with me this entire year, even complimented me on my appearance while we were leaving algebra class.

At the last bell, there was a definite pep in my step. My mood brightened to even greater heights when Chris approached me at my locker.

"So, may I have a progress report on how your day is going?" he asked, taking up the same posh voice he used this morning. "Further measures must be taken if your day has been anything below outstanding."

I wrinkled my nose. "Okay, I'm not even going to try and match that accent anymore. I hail you as the ultimate victor of that accent. But yes, it's been a great day, actually."

My response was rewarded with a genuine smile that made my heart sing. He's just so cute.

As if called upon by my Chris-adoring thoughts, Marissa appeared by my side. She hip bumped me and gave me a suggestive look in greeting. "Hey, you two. Ready for your dance lesson today?"

Chris scratched his head. "I hope you're a forgiving teacher, M. This could be a shit-show."

Marissa jabbed at him. "Don't say that! Have confidence, will you? How am I supposed to teach with that kind of attitude?"

We met up with Cooper, Phil, and Bryson outside the school so we could all make the trip to Marissa's apartment together. Despite the company, my mind was elsewhere. It seemed my mind was never a place for peace and quiet, especially not lately. My thoughts were always being pulled into different directions. Dance practice, the party, Chris, Evellyn, Papa, Sylvia.

Sylvia.

I thumped my head back on the windowsill of the train, shutting my eyes. On my mission to have a completely great day and maybe carry that spirit into the days to come, I had somehow forgotten that Sylvia's memorial and funeral was coming up next weekend. Jessica, Reece, and I would be flying down to North Carolina where it was all being held. And to think I was trying to switch gears when, soon, I'd have to put my mourning clothes back on. Suddenly, trying to listen to the merry conversations of my friends felt futile.

"Darce?"

My eyes flew open. Chris had taken my hand and given it a squeeze. His eyes were on me, filled with concern. "Are you okay?" he asked, leaning in as to not draw the attention of the others as Phil described the different junk he had found while trying to clean out an old dresser in his hallway.

I didn't want to get into explaining the trip when I knew I'd have to explain it to the others again later, so I nodded and forced a smile. "Just sleepy," I replied.

To really sell the act, I rested my head back and closed my eyes once more. For the rest of the journey, I focused on my deep breaths and the way Chris's thumb rubbed gently across the back of my hand.