Drowning. That's how I decided to go, to end it all for once. My parents weren't home so it was the perfect time to act on my desire to die.
The tranquil and soothing sound of the clear water slowly filling up the empty tub made me enter a different state of mind; if, before, I had any doubts, they were gone, washed away from my mind like the dirt from my body. I wasn't afraid anymore, I longed for death like lost children long for their mother.
With my head clear, I took my time undressing myself. The water was warm and welcoming and I felt like that was the moment I always waited for.
Ears drumming. Eyes burning. Lungs filled with water. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't scream. My hands closed around my throat. It hurt.
It felt so peaceful at first; my body slowly being moved by the water in a gentle lull, not a sound to be heard. Peace.
I frantically tried to catch my breath, panicking. I got up and fell out of the tub, spitting water on the wet floor. The cold air stang me, tears started streaming down my humid face, mixing with the droplets of water that coated my naked body.
After gasping for what felt like a lifetime, I regained the ability to breathe, though it was still staggered, my incessant crying making it difficult to rest.
I couldn't do it, I failed. I was so closed and yet my own body betrayed me.
I couldn't forgive myself. I still cannot.
YOU ARE READING
Cure Me
FanfictionDr. Ellie Staple x Fem!Reader Warning! Contains: suicide; depression; depressive thoughts If you suffer from any mental health problems, such as depression, this might not be suitable for you. Please, seek help if needed, you are not alone.
