Cure Me

5| Thoughts

Warning!
If you are sad or suffer from depression, please skip this chapter. If you do read it, remember that you are loved and you are important.

Why am I still alive? I should have died that day.

Nobody needs me, anyway. Everybody is better off without me.

I feel so guilty all the time... I can't cope with it anymore.

It's all my fault. My friends are sad because of me.

I should die.

Why do I feel this way? It's just a stupid caprice of mine.

I'm faking it, surely.

I'm doing it all for attention. I'm such an attention whore.

I'm so stupid, why do I keep on living?

I need to die. I can't live like this anymore.

It's too much, everything it's so hard to take.

I'm such a pity. Look at me, I look hideous.

Nobody could ever love me. I'm so stupid, I should die.

Nobody needs me, anyway. I'm just a waste of space and time.

I'm so boring and hurtful. I don't deserve to live.

I'm such a bad person. Why am I like this?

I can't do anything right.

Die. Die. Die.

Die.

Tears started flowing from my eyes, cascading on the bed. My head was in between my hands, a strong headache made me feel like I was really dying.

I could feel my heartbeat accelerating with every drop of a tear, my breath itched in my throat that burned from trying to supress the scream that wanted so badly to come out my lips.

I was having a panick attack. I opened my eyes slowly and got up the bed. I instantly regretted the decision; I felt dizzy and everything was turning black. I tried to go to the door anyway, droplets of sweat accompanied me with every step I took. Why was the room so hot all of a sudden?

Should I really do it? Should I bother her? I'm so selfish, I always think about me.

I groaned at the thought, not knowing what to do. My hands were sweaty and my cheeks damp with tears that still hadn't ceased to come out. I needed someone.

My hand pressed gently the red button on the wall. I turned around and was on my way to the bed when I fell and everything went black.