Cure Me

8| Friends

I opened my eyes. Another day of nothingness was awaiting me.

Ellie suggested that I did some group activities with the other patients, and though the thought of having to socialise scared me, I thought it was better than to remain all day locked in my cage.

And so, that morning, a guard came, opened the door and escorted me to a big room. The first thing that I noticed was that the walls were white and not the usual grey that you would see in the rest of the building.

The room was full of tables and chairs, the majority occupied by people a lot older than me.

Anxiety filled me whole. I was afraid of big crowds and the thought of not belonging in a certain place started making me panick.

I closed my eyes for a few seconds, calming myself, reapiting a mantra in my mind. Everything will be ok.

People didn't seem to observe my presence in the room, like I was a ghost. I walked around the tables, trying to decide where to sit.

At one table there were four women and a man, having a lively conversation about something I couldn't understand. I decided to not intrude and got to another table.

An extremely skinny boy was talking in a language I didn't comprehend to a girl, that seemed to struggle to understand what the boy was saying to her. They seemed to have about my age, they couldn't be older then twenty, so I decided to sit with them.

The boy stopped talking and both looked at me. I felt awkward, I didn't know what to do. The boy smiled and patted the chair next to him, inviting me to sit. And so I did.

«Well well, hello. You're new, I haven't seen you around.»

His accent was thick, though I still couldn't quite figure where he was from.
I nodded, pinching the skin of my hand to calm me down.

«Yeah... I've only come here two days ago. I'm Y/N.»

The girl smiled at me. She had blonde curly hair, big green eyes. Freckles adorned her face.

«Welcome to Hell, Y/N. I'm Hanna. And this guy next to you, his name is kinda weird. What was your name again?»

«I'm Isztban, but you can call me Mario.»

I nodded, smiling. They seemed friendly so I felt a bit more at ease.

«I heard you talking in a strange language. What were you saying?»

Mario giggled and Hanna scoffed, smiling.

«You see, I'm not from around here. I'm actually Romanian- well, half Romanian, half Hungarian. I was trying to teach this specimen of a girl some phrases in Romanian but she's just so stupid that she can't learn.»

«Oy, listen here, Dracula. It's not my fault I can't talk vampirese.»

We all laughed in unison. We proceeded to talk about silly things, about how good or bad we were at school, how some of us liked cats while others preffered dogs, and so on.

«Ok ok, new girl. Let's see if you're smarter than this one. Repeat after me: românii sunt cei mai tari.»

I looked at him a bit confused but smiling.

«Ok...? Ahm, romoni sun tchei my tar?»

He exploded laughing, almost falling from his chair. Hanna scoffed and rolled her eyes, but smiled.

«Seems like I suck at Romanian too.»

I said, laughing. Hanna looked at me curiously.

«So say, why are you here?»

My smile faded. I didn't know what to say. Of course, she wanted the truth but I was ashamed of what I did, I was ashamed that I was depressed.

«Well...»

The boy interrupted me.

«What a way to kill the mood. Seriously Hanna.»

«What? I was just curious!»

«Well, why don't you tell us why you are here, hm?»

She scoffed once again, agitating her hand in the air.

«Fine, I suppose I'll start. I'm here because I suffer from PTSD, or posttraumatic stress disorder. At night I can't sleep because I have terrible nightmares.»

For a second her gaze held pain and sadness, like she was reliving the pain she felt during the trauma. And maybe she was. But she snapped out of it with a shake of her head, her cheeky smile back again on her pale face.

«So, what about you?»

Mario cleared his throat, like he was about to tell the legendary story of a knight in shining armour and his adventure.

«I'm here because I don't eat. I dislike eating, it gives me nausea. Plus, I don't see the point. Everything tastes like dead rat.»

I looked at him and I could see how scheletrical he really was. His skin was a strange colour in some parts, a pinkish-yellowy tone. And I noticed cuts on his wrists.

«Now you, new girl.»

I gulped. I felt like I didn't belong there. They had serious problems, anorexia and PTSD, they were suffering. But me? I felt like my pain wasn't comparable to theirs, like it didn't count anymore. I felt like I was just faking it.

«Well, I... I'm here because I tried to kill myself.»

I was expecting them to react somehow, but they just waited for me to continue talking.

«That's it.»

It was like my confession was nothing new, like they've heard it countless times, and maybe they had. I couldn't be the only one in the whole hospital who tried to kill themselves.

We continued talking for a few more minutes before we all retired to our rooms.

«Hope to see you again tomorrow, new girl.»

I smiled at Hanna, reassuring her that I will be at the same table the next day. Socialising was more fun than I remembered, and it helped quieted down the constant voices in my head.

I was glad I accepted Ellie's suggestion. Hanna and Mario were extremely funny and good people and I couldn't wait to meet them again.