Bruised, Battered, and In Tears [ A Benson Fan Fic]

Six

The first night in the motel was rough. The girls argued about who would get to sleep with Olivia, even though they both could crash in the second bed while Olivia got to sleep alone. The girls weren't used to having a TV in the same place they slept, so they wanted to watch cartoons all night even if they had school in the morning. Michaela and Julia fought Olivia until they eventually passed out in the same bed as each other.

Olivia took a shower and got changed before slowly laying down in her bed. She had slid her hand under her t-shirt and gently rubbed her flat stomach. She was scared to death about being pregnant, but kinda happy about being pregnant again. This time without Chris telling her exactly what to do.

Olivia was just about to doze off when there was a light knock on the door. Olivia sighed softly before moving out from under the sheets and to the door. She looked through the peephole before opening the door slowly.

"Elliot?" Olivia whispered.

"Hey... uh, so I was wondering how you and the girls were doing." He breathed. Olivia looked over her shoulder and to where the kids were sleeping. She smiled softly before turning back to him.

"They are better now that they are asleep. My little angels were fighting me all night." Olivia sighed as her smile faded.

"Do you want me to stay here tonight? Just in case you need anything?" Elliot asked. Olivia shook her head quickly as she thought about the night they kissed.

"Elliot, you have a wife and five children at home. Being here with me isn't where you need to be. Repair your marriage. Or decide to break up. We just can't be doing anything while you two are still legally together." Olivia breathed. She stepped back and shut the door before locking it. She leaned against it and felt as Elliot leaned against the other side. They both stood in silence, but it's only because Elliot respected Olivia's boundaries enough to not burst in there and hold her while she sleeps.

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The next morning, Olivia walked the girls to school before heading back to the motel to change. She wanted to take the girls to her appointment, but she didn't want them to know about the baby until much later in her pregnancy. Olivia was just opening the door to her room, as Elliot went to knock on it. Olivia jumped a bit and Elliot swore because he had gotten spooked.

"Why are you here?" Olivia sighed once she recovered. She moved out of the room and shut her door before making sure it was locked.

"Uh, I can't get you out of my head and I was wondering if you needed anything."

"I need to go make sure my baby is okay," Olivia spoke. Elliot followed her down and the hall and down the stairs before towards her car.

"Let me join you." Elliot smiled, as he quickly stepped over a puddle and managed to keep up with her fast pace.

"Elliot, did you go home last night?" Olivia asked. He stopped and shook his head.

"No, I didn't... Kathy is ignoring my calls and Cragen put me on extra leave so I can take care of you. So I'm supposed to be with you." Elliot spoke. Olivia turned to look at him and frowned deeply.

"I don't need to be babysat, Elliot. I'm a grown woman, a mother to almost three kids. I need to move forward and get through this all myself. I need to remember that I'll be alone through this pregnancy. Completely. Chris won't be around to tell me that what I'm craving is wrong. That when I'm exhausted, he won't be there to tell me that it's my fault. Not the fact that I had to wait on him hand and foot." Olivia spoke.

"You aren't alone and will never be completely alone. Olivia, I will always be here for you." Elliot spoke. Olivia looked down for a few moments before sighing.

"You are like a lost puppy." She grumbled as she moved to her car.

"What?" Elliot asked, as he quickly followed her.

"You need something to do. Someone to follow. And for some reason you picked me. So get your ass in my car and be there when I get my pregnancy confirmed. But never say it's your baby. Do you understand?!"

"Yes, ma'am."

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Olivia waited anxiously in the waiting room of her doctor's office. Elliot sat beside her as he flipped through a pregnancy magazine as if he didn't know what happened to women while they are pregnant because he has five kids and had seen four of his kids born.

"What do you hope you get?" Elliot asked, as he finally sat the magazine down.

"What?" Olivia breathed quietly.

"Do you want another little girl or a boy?" Elliot smiled.

"Uh, Chris wanted a son. He said many times that he was tired of me getting pregnant with girls..." Olivia breathed.

"But what about you?" Elliot asked. Olivia shrugged as she looked down at her hands. No matter how many days has passed since Chris died, she still looked at her hands and managed to see blood even if there was none there.

"I love my girls... but I would also love a boy. I just want my baby to be healthy... because I can't lose this baby after what happened." Olivia breathed. She reached over and grabbed Elliot's hand when she heard the door open.

"Olivia Benson?" The nurse spoke, and Olivia swallowed hard before standing. Elliot stayed put until Olivia looked at him.

"El?" She breathed.

"Want me to join you, Livvie?" Elliot asked, and Olivia nodded nervously.

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Inside the room, Olivia got blood taken before she left to give them a urine sample. While she was gone, Elliot talked with Olivia's doctor.

"How is she doing?" Dr. Murr asked.

"Uh, she's doing okay." Elliot breathed.

"I hope that what happened last time doesn't happen again." She sighed as she waited for her patient to come back.

"What do you mean?" Elliot asked quietly.

"She never told you about the miscarriage?"

"No... she never-" Elliot was cut off when Olivia came back in. She gave them a nervous look before climbing back on the examination table.

"So how long until we can get the results back?" Olivia asked quietly.

"Soon. Now, I'm going to do a normal checkup while we wait." Dr. Murr spoke, as Elliot looked at Olivia. He should have known that she was hiding more than just the abuse.

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