Bruised, Battered, and In Tears [ A Benson Fan Fic]

Nine

Talking about the abuse brought up memories from before Chris. It was like her whole life had just been one big blur of abuse. When Olivia met Chris, she really thought that she had won the jackpot. That he was going to be her soulmate and the only man she would ever want to be with, but then as soon as that marriage license was signed, it was like he changed completely. He started to get rough and had sex with Olivia in a way she had never liked. He was forceful and loved to choke her out as tears slipped down her cheeks and she tried to get enough air into her lungs so she could tell him to stop. But she never could.

"Olivia?" Huang spoke, as he slid a box of tissues across the table and to where Olivia was trying her hardest to not scream.

"I feel like it's tattooed on my forehead, George." Olivia whimpered.

"What?" Huang spoke. Olivia ran her hand over her forehead before reaching and grabbing a tissue. She wiped the tears from her cheeks before speaking.

"Victim... Abused... Unwanted." Olivia whispered.

"You don't have to be a victim, Olivia. Do something about it." Huang spoke.

"I don't know what I can do, George. I'm a widowed mother of two kids, let alone the fact I'm pregnant. My girls were expelled from school because of what I did. Because I killed my husband. There is no place in this world for a woman like me. My kids would be better off without me, and at this point... I think that they should go live with Chris' mom. She hates me, but at least she loves my girls. And when this baby is born, I'll just give her over too. I'm not a good mother, and I never will be." Olivia whispered. She closed her eyes tightly as she felt her stomach tighten.

"Olivia-"

"I'm going to go get sick again... but I'm done talking. I don't care anymore."

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Olivia was trying to calm herself down in the bathroom when Elliot came in. He stood there by the door and looked at Olivia.

"Are you okay?" Elliot asked. Olivia slowly turned to look at him before swallowing hard.

"Elliot, I killed my husband. Do you honestly think that I'm okay?" Olivia huffed a bit.

"I don't know with you anymore, Olivia. Because you don't talk to me anymore. You won't even let me try and be your boyfriend or friend." Elliot spoke as his face grew red.

"Elliot, I ruined my own life so I don't want to ruin yours too. I don't know what you see in me, so why don't you just go back out to your desk and prepare yourself for a new partner. I'm leaving. I'm never coming back." Olivia spoke. She moving towards the door and went to open it, but Elliot stopped her.

"If you would let me in... let me love you and take care of you and those girls, you won't feel unwanted." Elliot spoke. Olivia looked at him with angry eyes as tears slipped down her cheeks.

"You were listening to my conversation with Huang?" Olivia whimpered.

"Liv, I need to know what is happening because you won't tell me anything. And when I love someone, I need to know what is happening with them so I can figure out how I can help." Elliot spoke.

"Help yourself for once Elliot, and leave me alone," Olivia whispered, before swinging the door open and quickly stumbling down the hall.

"I don't want to leave you alone, Olivia! I love you!" Elliot yelled, and Olivia froze at the end of the doorway. She reached out and grabbed the edge of the wall before shaking her head a bit and moving forward.

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Olivia got her girls and tried to leave the city. Even if she just left Manhattan and went to Brooklyn or tried to get to Jersey, then she'd be better off. Olivia was in tears as she stood outside of her van and stared at the skyline. She didn't even really know where she was, but she knew she had crossed a bridge and was now looking at the city that had been her home for her entire life.

"You left." A soft voice spoke. Olivia turned as she brushed tears from her cheeks before seeing Fin standing by the sedan. She hadn't even heard him pull up, but she wishes she had. Then she could have gotten into the van and gotten as far as she could.

"Fin, I can't stay here. My house... the one I was raising my girls in... it's a crime scene. And now I'm pregnant again. How am I supposed to support my family when I can't even do the one thing I'm good at?" Olivia whimpered.

"You have people around you who are willing to help you. Willing to love and care for you and those girls. So please, baby girl, don't leave." Fin spoke. Olivia ran her hands over her face before swallowing hard as she turned and looked into her van.

"Fin, can you take the girls back to the city?" Olivia whispered as she moved to open the door. Michaela was staring at her mother with tears in her eyes because Olivia wasn't telling her anything.

"Only if you are coming with them." Fin spoke. Olivia went to respond, but then another sedan pulled up, and another. Olivia's van was boxed in by the crew and she started to sob. Fin hugged Olivia tightly, before passing her to Elliot. Olivia was shocked that she was getting any comfort from Elliot at all, but she still loved him even if he was driving her nuts lately.

"Come home with me, Liv. The girls can sleep in my bedroom and you and I can each take a bed in the kids' room." Elliot spoke. Olivia looked at him for a moment before placing a soft kiss to his cheek.

"Thanks, El... I'm sorry that I've been all over the place... I love you too." Olivia whispered, before clinging to Elliot for several more moments.

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