Bruised, Battered, and In Tears [ A Benson Fan Fic]

Eight

Olivia walked into the dark squadroom and kept close to Cragen. He moved and turned on the main light, and once the room was bright, Olivia moved to her desk. She sank down onto her chair as she looked over her desk. No one had even bothered to remove the pictures of Chris from the desk, and she wishes they would have so that she didn't have to look at her dead husband.

"Do you want to move desks?" Cragen asked, as he slowly came out of his office. Olivia looked up at him before shrugging.

"Depends if you are changing my partners..." Olivia trailed off quietly.

"We aren't partnering you up with anyone. Today you are going to be talking to Huang. I hope that that is okay." Cragen spoke. Olivia frowned deeply before nodding slowly.

"Just leave it... I'll just take down the pictures that Chris is in and replace them at some point with pictures of my kids." Olivia breathed. She watched as her Captain nodded slowly before moving back to his office. Once his door was closed, Olivia closed her eyes tightly and took in a slow breath.

She felt like getting sick, but she couldn't tell if it was because of the baby or because she hadn't been into work in so long... well before she had fatally shot her husband.

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Olivia ended up having to run to the bathroom and get sick. By the time she had composed herself and was feeling a little better, the rest of the crew was there and sitting at their desks. Olivia slowly made her way over to her desk, and as soon as she sat down she could feel Elliot's eyes on her.

"What are you doing here?" Elliot asked slowly.

"Cragen told me that I'm supposed to come back... don't worry about having to work with me though. Not only am I pregnant, but I probably will never be cleared for active duty." Olivia mumbled.

"Liv-"

"Alright, Detective Benson. It's time to talk." George Huang spoke. Olivia nodded slowly before pointing towards the coffee pots.

"Let me get something to drink and then I'll be in," Olivia spoke.

Olivia walked over to the pots and poured some decaf into her mug before starting to add what she wanted to it. She felt Elliot's hand on her back and she froze in her spot.

"I want to talk to you, Liv. I'm worried sick about you... and why didn't you answer your phone last night?" Elliot questioned.

"Which phone?" Olivia asked quietly.

"The one in your hotel room," Elliot spoke.

"I'm not staying there anymore. Cragen came and got me from the hotel room and the girls and I are staying with him." Olivia breathed.

"Well, I'm staying in the apartment I rented when Kathy and I broke up the first time... we are done officially now," Elliot spoke.

"Elliot-" Olivia started, but he stopped her.

"I love you, Olivia. When we kissed for the first time, I felt sparks. So please, just give me a chance to prove to you that I can take care of you and the kids. You need someone especially since you are pregnant."

"I'm fine! Elliot, just leave me alone. I hate that I broke you and Kathy up, but I didn't want it to happen. I want you to be with her and take care of your kids before trying to focus on mine."

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Olivia sat in a quiet interview room as Huang looked quietly at her. Olivia felt uncomfortable, but she knew that she just had to go along with it if she ever wanted to be cleared for active duty again.

"So, where would you like to start?" Huang asked. Olivia looked around the room for a moment before shrugging.

"Want me to tell you about the abuse? The rape? My miscarriage? Or my current pregnancy? God, there are so many more options, but you should pick." Olivia said with a sigh.

"Let's talk about the abuse."

"Okay, hit me with the questions, Doc," Olivia said with a forced smile. She didn't want to be there, but she'd rather be in this room instead of out in the squadroom where Elliot would try to get with her.

"When did it start?"

"Uh... Michaela is 6 and Julia is 5... so 8 years ago. It started shortly after we got married." Olivia spoke.

"Okay, and what did he use to do?" Huang questioned slowly.

"He liked to whip me with his belt. He liked the way the leather snapped when it hit my skin." Olivia sighed softly.

"And?"

"And he used to like to do it right after we had sex. He needed me to compliment him on how amazing the sex was, but when I forgot too... he'd start hitting me. Kicking me. If that didn't get him off, then Chris would rape me. He'd force himself inside of me and go at me for hours as I cried and asked him to stop."

"Olivia, were the girls the product of those nights of rape?" Huang breathed, as he tried to avoid Olivia's eyes. He was her friend and hated to see her this sad. She was trying to use humor to get herself through this, but that couldn't even hide this.

"I think so... because after the first year or so of our marriage, there was less sex and more rape. He'd even try to mount me when I was sleeping." Olivia whispered.

"How do you feel about your girls?" Huang asked.

"I love them, George. They are my best friends." Olivia whispered as she brushed a few tears from her cheeks.

"Olivia, I know that you are strong and brave, but I need you to know that you can really let things go in here. I'm here to listen."

"George, I was scared to go home every night. I wanted to just get my girls from school and run... but I knew that he'd find me. He'd find us and kill us all."

"Did he threaten the girls at all?" Huang breathed, and Olivia nodded.

"Yeah. He used to tell them that if they didn't keep their mouths shut, that he would beat them. Or he once even pulled his belt off and went after Michaela with it, but then I smacked him over the head with a plate and he never did that again." Olivia breathed before her breathing hitched and she started to sob.

So much was coming back up, and there was nowhere she could hide these memories anymore.

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