Endlessly

Ten

i placed the folded clothes back into my dresser in the apartment, i sighed while checking my phone to see no texts or calls from david. maybe we rushed things, maybe it was a spur of the moment deal and he didnt mean it, but i did. i love david. which was crazy to me considering the reasons of clayton and i breaking up was because of me not being able to tell him i loved him after months of him telling me so. that was my fault though, i couldnt allow myself to love someone. id like to give a shout out to my best friend commitment issues on that deal.

i continued cleaning, it was a distraction from it all. from the constant worry. i hated being so damn worried all the time. i didnt realize i had been biting my lip so hard till i tasted a small amount of blood.

'fuck' i whispered to myself placing a cloth to my lip. the last i heard from david was 2 days ago when he told me he was filming at scottys and i decided to go home to get wash clothes and gather things up, he promised to text when he got home. he never did. i had talked to scotty that night saying he went home around 10pm, i waited. this is what i was afraid of, hed see the cloud of rain that always followed me, no matter how long i tried to outrun it.

tears welded up in my eyes, the thought of david being happier without me was something that never left me. i hated it.

i stood there tears streaming down my face, the storm had finally caught back up to me. the could hovered over me raining down to fall upon my cheeks. a little knock had made its way on my door as i sniffled and leaned against the wall not wanting to be bothered.

"rose bud, you there?" his voice that sounded like music to me ears came through the door. as much as i wanted to open the door and jump into his arms, i couldnt. i noticed the door unlocking as i forgot he had a key.

"rosalie?" he asked looking around as i walked around the corner, looking as if sadness himself punched me right in the face, "baby whats wrong?" he asked pulling me into his embrace. his fingers tickled along my spine, trying to comfort me.

"if you dont want to be with me you can just say so..." i said wiping the tears off of my face. i closed my eyes as i pulled away from him. i didnt want to see the look on his face, the look of 'im sorry im leaving' plastered all over him.

"rosalie im sorry-" he spoke but a sob left my mouth as i waited for him to leave me, "hey..hey baby calm down." he said soothing me as his hands pulled me back into him, they played with my hair as i finally calmed down.

"all i was gonna say," he spoke pushing my hair that was stuck to my mess of a face from crying out of it, a small smile appeared on his face, "was that im sorry i hadnt talked to you.. i was trying to catch up on work and i had so many meetings that when i had free time i slept, im sorry baby.." he said as i nodded, "you could have told me.." i sighed as he looked down and his light in his eyes went out a little, he was sad.

"i know, im sorry im trying to be the best i can be for you and i cant do anything right" he said sitting down on the couch placing his head in his hands. i sat down next to him laying my head on his shoulder.

i let my heart settle and my breath catch back up to me, "did we rush this..?" i asked as he looked over at me hurt at my words, but understanding settled through him.

"no, atleast.. i dont think so" he said shrugging and kissing the top of my head, "its just a bad day. they happen" he spoke as i nodded, he was right. it was just a bad day.

"im sorry" i mumbled into his shoulder kissing it softly. "you do everything perfectly, you're perfect"

"i am too" he said as he pulled my chin up to face him, "so are you." his lips pressed to mine so passionately, i never wanted them to leave.

"rosalie i promise that when life gets busy, to include you in it. not to push you out" he said kissing my nose as i cuddled more into him after so. "i like being involved.." i said as a gentle smile pulled across his face, "good, i like you being involved also.." he said as i pecked his lips a little and he smiled into it.

"im happy with you, so so happy rose bud" he said tracing shapes. i watched as his finger tips left my skin white with the shape of whatever for just a second.

"i am too, the happiest i have ever been" i gleamed in realization of, just let yourself be happy.

you have to jump, to see what is at the bottom, even if it ends in heart break and misery; its better than the what ifs that would come to follow if you dont.

david is the calm peace that fills within your car when youre driving in a storm and go under a bridge. im lucky, im so so lucky.

"whats going on in that pretty little head of yours" he asked as he kissed my temple and my cheek a few times, leaving me a flustered mess.

"just how lucky i am" i said as he nodded in agreement, "tell me" he said as i climbed up onto his lap more and ran my fingers through his hair, smiling down at the boy i missed so dearly.

"how lucky i am to go through everyday knowing i have you to fall asleep next to at the end of the day" i said as his cheeks now flushed red. he sunk his head between my chin and my neck, "i love you" he mumbled into my neck kissing it softly.

"i love you too" i said as he flipped over on top of me kissing me so deep, our lips begged for one another. his hands fiddled with my shorts as he pulled them down slowly and my legs helped kick them off as his hands traveled up my legs towards my stomach. his fingers traced over my ribs up under my shirt as his lips were all over my neck.

"fuck you're so pretty" he said into our kiss as i smiled into it, "and so hot" he said leaving little kisses along my stomach as i watched him look up into my eyes.

"i could fuck you all night" he said crashing his lips back into mine, rolling his hips into mine as a groan escaped his mouth.

"so do it", i said as he smirked in my direction.

"anything you want, rose bud."