C L O S E R || hwang hyunjin

grown

My eyes slowly opened. It took me a second to realize where I was. 
My head was laying on Hyunjin's shoulder. My eyes widened and I quickly sat up, out of habit. I saw that Hyunjin was sleeping, but sitting up, with his arms crossed.
"Did we suddenly just fall asleep?" I took a deep breath. I felt my chest heavy, and I couldn't stay still. I felt embarrassed for some reason. Then I looked around and notice the others walking in and out of the hotel room, carrying stuff.
Changbin noticed me. "Ah, you're finally up." He smiled wide and walked up to us. But, Hyunjin was still fast asleep.
"I don't know why you guys came out here last night but.." Changbin looked down while scratching his head. But, someone else popped up interrupting him. 
"We saw you guys sleeping so soundly we didn't want to wake you up." Felix made a quick smile while wrapping his arm around Changbin's shoulders.
I scratched my head. "I don't even remember falling asleep," I muttered. 
Then someone plopped right on the couch on the other side of Hyunjin. I quickly looked over. I saw it was Rylee. "Hey, sleepyhead. Wake up." She nudged his arm. For some reason, deep down inside me, that made me angry.
I didn't want to disturb Hyunjin or anyone else to disturb him. I wanted him to be content.
"Why is that bothering me?" I looked down at the ground to try to ignore the feeling. "No way I can get defensive or they will know.." I laughed to myself.
Hyunjin slowly started to wake up with a moan. I peaked over with the corner of my eye. He rubbed his eyes with a slightly irritated face. 
"It's so bright." He mumbled. Rylee kept poking at his arm. "What are you doing out here though? Like it's not good to sleep sitting up." she made a small chuckle.
I tried to stop myself from looking at them. I had this unsettling feeling.
Chan quickly walked into the room. 
"Hey hey," He clapped his hands to get our attention. "As I said, we are leaving early so get your butts moving or we can't get breakfast on the go." 
From what he said everyone stood up and got ready fast. Everyone seemed to be in a panic around. I just hid my face as I made my way out the door. I didn't have a sight of Hyunjin. We made our way outside, by the van. I looked around, with the sun gleaming in my eye. But, I didn't spot Hyunjin anywhere. 
"He's usually always by me.." I shivered as the morning breeze hit me. "What am I saying? He's not my doll and he probably finds me annoying anyway. He doesn't always have to be close by me." I fought with myself. Someone came up behind me. I was hoping to see Hyunjin, but it was Changbin. I laughed nervously as I faced him. "You about scared me." 
"Right, right." Changbin shrugged. "Uh, anyways." I felt the awkwardness in the air. For some reason, something felt off this morning. I stuck my cold hands in my pockets.
"You okay? You seem off this morning." Changbin scrunched his nose. 
I made a quick nod. "Yeah. Why? Am I acting weird?" I said in a bubbly voice. He made a laugh. "Nah, just a moment ago you seemed quieter or something. But, If something is bothering you, just let me know." Changbin made a quick smile, bowed, and quickly went into the van. I smiled gently at his words. I quickly got in the van too. But, Hyunjin was not in there either. I started to worry, but I tried to stop myself from thinking of him as much. 
I looked down at my phone, setting up my music. I saw a little wave from my left. I looked over to see Seungmin trying to get my attention. "Hey." He said in a small voice.
"Hey." I made a small wave. 
I had an unsettling feeling. I looked out the windows and saw Hyunjin talking to Rylee again. I couldn't hear what they were saying but my eyes focused on Hyunjin's bright smile around her. I had a deep, sinking feeling in my chest. I shook my head, trying to look away from them.
"Come on hop in!" I heard Chan yell, then they quickly made their way on the bus.
Hyunjin squeezed in beside me. I wanted to say something to him, but I wasn't sure what. I just looked at his smiling, shy face. I felt content with that. I felt this shy, embarrassed feeling in me. All I could do was look down and smile. 
We started to get going, and I watched out the window as the road passed by. I felt in a daze the whole entire ride like it went by in a heartbeat.
Suddenly we stopped back at the school like not a minute went by. 
"Wait...didn't we just leave?" I muttered, but Hyunjin heard me. He had a discontent look on his face. Quickly, we all got out of the van and told each other goodbye. As Hyunjin started to walk away, I tried to run up beside him. "Hey! mind if I walk home with you? we live close by."
But, Hyunjin didn't reply. He didn't make a gesture towards me at all. 
He just kept walking. "Haha.." I felt a deep pounding in my chest. I didn't say anything else. I couldn't. I looked down, with an embarrassing weight on my head.
Hyunjin walked further ahead, and I slowly started to drift from him.
"Why is he suddenly going away from me? Am I just paranoid?.." But, I slowed down. I didn't want to bother him or annoy him like I started to fear. "Did I do...something?" I stopped there for a second, trying to gather all my thoughts in at once. Hyunjin by then was far from me.
"Maybe yesterday was just my imagination," I muttered. Suddenly someone popped up beside me once again. "Why are you just standing there? Did you fall asleep again?" I saw Changbin swing his head down, trying to see my face. I quickly looked up and laughed nervously.
"Sorry, I am just lost in thought." 
"Ah Ah, I get that way a lot, that's okay." He shrugged and started walking. I naturally started to walk too. 
Changbin looked ahead and noticed Hyunjin from afar. "Did you and Hyunjin fight or something?" He gripped his backpack.
"Uhh.. no." I couldn't say much at the moment. "I don't know. He's acting weird around me." I scratched my head while looking forward.
"Oh..maybe he's just tired from yesterday and today? He is the silent type." 
"Ah Ah, right." I tried to believe what Changbin was saying, but deep down I had the worry rumbling inside me.
"So...How is your mom?" Changbin looked over at me. 
"Oh, she's getting treatment at the moment. But, I haven't heard if there were improvements or hopes yet." I took a deep breath and looked up at the pink-orange tinted sky. It was already so late and it felt like the day had just started.
My timing was all messed up. I was deep in thought again.
"Ah, You looked deep in thought again." Changbin made a small chuckle. I shook my head out of my trance. "Yeah, I get lost in thought easy, sorry." I scratched my head. 
"It's no problem." Changbin made a small cough and scratched his head. He looked shyer than usual. "Everyone is acting weird today," I added.
"Right. It's weird. Maybe yesterday got to all of us." We both shrugged as he led me home. I felt good knowing at least someone was there, walking me home.
That I wasn't alone. But, the thought of Hyunjin being alone made me feel sad inside somehow. I slowly opened the door to see Jisung running in to greet me. "You'reeeee homeeee." He whined and tried to give me a hug. I shrugged him off. 
"Yes, it's only been a day." I put my bag down and made a big sigh as I plopped on the couch.
Jisung sat beside me. "Yeah, but I felt lonely without you."
"What am I your babysitter?" I teased him as I crossed my arms. I still couldn't get the image of Hyunjin out of my head. I kept repeating him over and over as the worry-filled deep inside me.
"What's wrong? Something seems to be troubling you." Jisung made a pouting face, trying to get me to smile.
"It's nothing." I laid my head back with a big sigh.
"That sigh tells me otherwise," Jisung said that I quickly got up and went to my room. "Fine don't answer me!" I heard him yell through my door. I quickly laid back on my bed. My body felt exhausted even though I felt like I had just woken up.
My stomach, hungry. My thoughts, rapid. I was thirsty too. I didn't know what was happening but my body felt achy, but my heart on fire when Hyunjin popped into my mind. "Is this what it feels like to like someone? It's exhausting." I turned over. Little did I know it was something way more than that.

I suddenly woke up by someone barging into my room. "Annie! Annie!" 
I could barely focus on his face for some reason he was in a better mood than usual. I didn't want to move my body. I turned back and forth with a moan. "What.." I covered my face with my blanket.
"Aren't you going to school?" Jisung stood glared down at me. I suddenly sat up. "It's that late already? I just fell asleep though." I threw down my blanket. I sat there with a pout.
"Yeah, you passed out pretty quickly last night." Jisung crossed his arms. I quickly sprouted up and got all my things together. I started muttering to myself as I quickly brushed through my hair. "My time has been all messed up. Everything keeps going by in a blink, and like my time seems frozen." I shrugged back, thinking it was just my mind playing with me. I paced around my room. 
"Wait...does your time seem frozen, but it's actually passing faster?" Jisung has a stern glare at me. I tossed my backpack over my shoulder. "Yeah, but, it's just my mind playing with me." I shrugged as I hurried out of my room and towards the door. Jisung tried to stop me "Wait-"
But, I closed the door before he could say anything. All I did was have one thing on my mind: "Maybe things will be different with Hyunjin, today." I had a little hope in me as I paced through the cold weather all the way to school.
I tightened my eyes as the breeze started to get heavier and heavier. What Jisung was trying to tell me didn't even pass my mind. I shuffled through the entrance of the school.
I heard people chattering in the hallways. I saw many people were gathered together by the bulletin board. I peaked over and heard others chatting. 
"Winter break starts in less than a week and I am excited." I heard someone saw. I stood there, "Winter break already? I wonder what I am doing for Christmas.." The thoughts ran around in my head. I never really celebrated Christmas or any other holiday with my family since we were all so silent with each other. We had moments and meals together, but never any fun memories. As I carried my feet through the halls I looked around. I had an anxious feeling. Deep down I was looking around for Hyunjin, I wanted to see him, to talk to him again.

I shook my head in my thoughts. "No. I don't want to be annoying." I muttered. As I was walking, with my head down, something swung in front of me. A door swung wide open, almost hitting my face. I stopped suddenly, with a deep breath. 
"Sorry, sorry, sorry." I heard repeated over and over, Someone peaked from the other side of the door. It was Seungmin. 
He noticed that it was me and came out from behind the door. He waved his hands around. "Really, I didn't see you. I was playing around. " Seungmin made a small laugh and walked back into the room with a large smile on his face. I peaked in the room and saw a bunch of decorations hanging from the ceiling. Paintings and drawings all over the walls. streamers, flowers, and color all around the whole room. I stood there in awe, how the color overtook my eyes. There were others in the room as well, painting, drawing, and hanging around. The whole room was filled with color. 
Seungmin started opening the windows, then looked back at me. "Don't just stand there. You can come in~" He made a quick smile. I slowly walked in. I felt shy, and awkward as the others looked at me. But, I couldn't help but look all around the room. 
"Wow, what is this place...?" I said in a soft voice. I just let out a "wow."
Seungmin made his way back over to me. "Well, It's an art class, or more like an art club." He nodded his head. He seemed really enthusiastic and happy. I couldn't help but smile. 
"Hey, do you like art?" Seungmin's face lit up with the idea. 
I knew what was coming, and I had an excitement building inside of me. "Yes, I-I do," I muttered while scratching my head. I made a quick nod. "What am I saying? I am not usually open about new things..." I screamed in my head.
"Maybe you can join us then!" He nodded with a smile on his face. "Would you like to join? we need new members anyway. We really just draw, paint, sculpt, anything really. There's no judgment here!" He made a tiny spin. I looked over at the other members who were peaking up at us. "Uh..." I wasn't sure what to say.