C L O S E R || hwang hyunjin

𝐶𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑥

I slowly started to wake up. My eyes muffled. I didn't know where I was. My head felt heavy. 
I tried my hardest to wake up, I pushed and pushed. Then, with a loud gasp, I woke up.
Sitting up fast, with my heart racing and my mind circling. I looked left and right and realized I was in a place I didn't recognize. I was on a couch with a blanket covering me. I started to panic. I was in such a shock, I didn't know where I was. I looked all around the small room. Which looked like a cabin. "Uh, where am I?" I started to repeat with my head spinning.
I then heard a noise come from the other room. I heard footsteps coming behind me. "Don't think you can get away with doing anything to me." I closed my eyes. I was confused about where I was and who was behind me, but whoever they were. They stopped right behind me. I was afraid to look back. "I have a brother, and trust me he will protect me!" I let out trying to hide.
"Okay," I heard a small laugh. "I guess I won't touch you then." I recognized the voice. I quickly looked back and slowly opened my eyes to see Hyunjin, 
My eyes froze and I quickly looked away.
"w-what are you doing here?" I stuttered. "Where am I? I forgot what happened..?" I suddenly got a flashback to what happened at the restaurant.
"I should ask you what you're doing." He made a small laugh. "You have been sleeping on my couch for two days."
When I heard what he said I started to panic. I threw the blanket off of me and let my feet hit the ground. "Two days?" I raised my eyebrow. "pft, I don't believe you." I shook my head.
"It's true." Hyunjin nervously scratched his head, there was nervousness on his face. He quickly turned around: "Would you like something to eat? it's been two days." he made his way to the kitchen. I quickly stood up to face him. "Okay, but can you explain where I am and why I am here?" I looked down at myself. For some reason, I was really nervous to be with him, my heart was racing, and I felt awkward somehow. "Uh..This is my place."
"Why didn't you just bring me home?" I tried to look at him, but the air felt so awkward.
"Well, I tried, but no one answered...and well, you were heavy and I didn't want to wake you." Hyunjin's voice sounded more serious than it was before. I was still confused, I began scratching my head.
"H-heavy?" I muttered quickly then my mind started to wonder. "did he carry me?.." I then imagined myself in his arms, and I quickly shook my head. "AH no." I fought with myself.
"I carried you on my back. I am surprised you didn't wake up." Hyunjin had a small smile on his face when he started to prepare food. 
"Oh...It didn't feel like long to me at all.." I muttered as I looked down. I slowly made my way to the kitchen. "Yeah, I know." I heard a sigh in his voice. "But, what I had done didn't work." He said under his breath.
"What?" I could barely hear what he said.
"Nothing." Hyunjin quickly looked over at me with a quick smile. His expression quickly changed, and he seemed worried. But, I shook it off. He quickly brought me over a bowl of oatmeal, with fruit on top.
"How did you know I liked oatmeal?.." I was surprised.
"I'm not sure. I just really like it." He made a small laugh. I took a deep breath as we ate. I felt this awkward tension between us. There was one question I wanted to ask him but I couldn't say. 
"Why did he just stop talking to me and ignore me...then just pretend everything was okay?" I looked down at my food. I felt a heaviness on my chest and felt like I shouldn't have been there. 
"Maybe I should go back home, Jisung is probably worried about me." I made a small laugh and was about to turn around.
"uh, I-" Hyunjin was about to say something. He scratched his head. "I am sorry, for before." He couldn't look at me either, I felt upset because I didn't want it to be this way.
I wanted to laugh with him like before, I wanted to hold his hand and see his small smile, and hear his sweet voice. There was nothing more that I wanted. I made my way to the front door with those thoughts in my mind. I wanted something more, I just didn't know what. I Slowly opened the door, with a deep pounding in my chest. "Maybe, just maybe I can ask him." I slowly turned my head back at him. "See ya, I guess." A sigh came.
"Uh-" It sounded like he wanted to say something, but couldn't. This feeling I had, it was hard to explain. "I just want things to go back to before..but how can I do that?" I asked myself as I walked out the door. I felt the cold immediately hit my face, and a bright white light shines in my eyes. "S-snow..?!" I shivered. I felt so cold and numb. 
"How can it snow this much in two days?" I quickly moved my feet on his porch to warm up. "How am I going to jump through this?" I was about to jump face first in the snow but felt something grab onto me from behind. I quickly looked back to see Hyunjin offering me a big coat. "Here, you can borrow this, be safe." As I looked at him, I saw a genuine smile on his face. With that, my heart started to beat faster. I quickly nodded my head shyly, and slowly took it from him. I put the coat on and pushed my way through the cold snow. "Thankfully my house is just a sprint away!" I yelled back so he could hear me. 
I heard a small giggle. "Yes, at least I won't have to worry." Was the last thing I heard him saw before I passed by the fence of his house. I raised my legs high to step through the snow. "I wonder where his family was when all of this happened." I wondered, then shrugged it off. 

I made it to the doorstep of my house. I heard voices coming from inside. "What do you mean? When was the last time you saw her?" 
"I saw her at the restaurant and I thought Hyunjin brought her home, but I didn't know she didn't come home." I heard two familiar voices. One, being Jisung.
"Oh, she must be with Hyunjin then, ah. This is pretty bad." Jisung said. But, I slowly started to open the door, to peek inside. I didn't want things to get worse than they already were. I started to chuckle nervously to get their attention. I saw Jisung and Changbin standing across from each other, and slowly turn their heads to me. "A-Annie?" I saw Jisung's face light up. I slowly walked in. I started to scratch my head. I didn't know what to say. Jisung quickly ran up to me, gave me a quick hug, and held me by the shoulders. "Are you okay?" He looked me in the eye. I made a small nod. "Sorry I worried you,"I muttered. 
"Where were you?"
"I was at Hyunjin's but I slept the whole time because..." I decided to stop talking, I looked over at Changbin. "I don't wanna say much because I don't want Changbin to find out about what's happening to me." 
Jisung took a step back. "Ah, that's what I thought." Jisung's voice got silent. 
"He seems off to me, but That may be just me." Changbin let out while scratching his head. I was confused by what he said. "What do you mean?" 
"Well, he's always been so quiet..and well, I don't know, he seems like he has been hiding something." He let out a light shrug. 
"I am safe, don't worry. He isn't like that." I made a slight smile and looked down. For some reason I trusted Hyunjin. Even if we didn't know each other that well, I trusted he isn't keeping anything from me.
"Yeah, like I said it could be just me." Changbin looked like he had an embarrassed look on his face. He couldn't keep eye contact with me. "Is...everything okay?" 
"Ah, yeah yeah." Changbin flustered and quickly walked past me and to the door. "I will just get going. I am glad you're safe, though." He made a quick nod, bundled his face in his scarf, and walked out the door. Before I could say anything, he left.
"Was he acting strange to you?" I shrugged.
"Well, he's your friend. I don't really know them very well." Jisung scrunched his nose and plopped down on the couch.
"Right right.." I started to think. "Maybe Hyunjin is hiding something from me..but, I can't help but trust him. There's just something about him that makes me feel different from others." 
"So." Jisung broke the quiet air. I looked back at him. He had a serious look on his face.
"Your time is quickened again? You ended up sleeping for days. Who knows how long you can sleep for without people waking you up." Jisung sounded really concerned. 
"Yeah.." I coughed slightly. 
"Who knows where this will lead you.." There was a sigh in his breath. "I can't lose you too, so, please. Please we need to find out and fix this." He looked up at me.
I made a nod. "Yeah, I am scared too." By what he was saying, I started to worry. He was right, I didn't know what I was doing or what was happening, but if things continued this way, I might just go on forever as people passed me by.

I didn't want that.

"You should rest." Jisung quickly stood up and shoved his hands in his hoodie pockets. "Yeah, but...I wanna go out and do stuff. I don't want to waste a minute." I made firm eye contact with him. 
"Of course," Jisung made a slight smile. "But, let's bring someone along, huh?" 
We quickly grabbed our things and opened the door. To quickly remember that snow was piled up. "Oh, yeah, I just remembered it snowed." I groaned. 
"Who are we going with?" 
"I don't want you to worry, so gather your friends together, ya?" Jisung tightened the snow hat on his head. We stomped through the thick snow. "I don't know if they're all busy though. It's almost Christmas after all."
By what I said a memory came to my mind. I remembered that Hyunjin said I could spend Christmas with him and his family. I started to imagine being there with him, by a warm campfire, drinking cocoa with him. My heart started to race, and I quickly shook my head. Jisung looked back at me. "Are you okay?" 
"Yeah." I shook out of my trance. "That won't happen, it's too soon to tell and he probably still thinks I am weird.." I told myself and tried to shrug the feeling off. We finally made it to the clear sidewalk. 
"Still won't hurt to try." Jisung turned around and looked up at the cloudy sky. "Ahhh." I saw his cold breath. "It's been a while since I actually hung out with people." 
I realized what he meant. I made a quick nod with a smile. "Of course, I guess I will invite them then." I quickly texted all of the people in my class to see if they wanted to hang out.
"Sure, I am bored anyway," Felix replied back.
"Okay, sure after I finish up my chores though," Minho said.
"I will be there." Changbin was probably still around our house somewhere. 
"Yeahhhhhhhh. :)" Seungmin sent.
"I am free." Is all Hyunjin had said. But, I simply smiled at all the texts. I giggled. 
"I actually have friends now," I said with a slight chuckle. "Last year I would've sworn I would always be anti-social," I added.
"I know that for sure." Jisung teased. "But, what happened for all that to change?"
As he asked that I saw two people in the distance walking towards us, waving.
"How did they get here this fast..?" I scratched my head. I saw It was Changbin and Hyunjin. I started to get flustered for some reason when I noticed Hyunjin was all bundled up. 
They got to us. "Hey, long time no see." Changbin made a small laugh. "We were just talking nearby, so for you to text us was very convenient." 
"Yeah, Thank you for inviting us." Hyunjin made a soft smile. I looked down shyly then let out a big sigh. "We should all play in the snow together."
I realized what I said sounded silly. "Sorry, I mean..that's a bit silly but, I mean..I did it a lot growing up and always wanted to do it with friends sooo.." I panicked. I felt a bit awkward, but, Hyunjin quickly patted my head with a smile. "It's not silly, it sounds fun." I never have seen Hyunjin this open before. It lit up something inside me and made me gleam a smile. "Thank you," I shivered a bit. I felt my face was numb from all the cold air around me. 
"You did tell the others to meet here, right?" Changbin added as he looked around.
"Yeah, I think they're driving here though.." 
"Good luck with that." Jisung shrugged. I made a nervous laugh. I felt this tension between Jisung and Hyunjin. "I feel like he doesn't trust him just like Changbin..." 
I shrugged and a bus slowly pulled up close by us. I noticed all Seungmin, Minho, and Felix walk out together.
"They're here quickly, too." Changbin noticed. 
We all watched as they walked through the snow and to us. "Hey!" Changbin and Minho gave each other a side hug. "It's been a few days." Laughed Minho.
"Right," Felix made a cough and looked over at me. "You're okay, though, right?" He raised his eyebrow. With the low tone in his voice, I could tell he was a bit concerned. 
"I'm okay, I promise," I assured him with a soft smile. 
Felix was acting a bit different today, but I shrugged it off. I looked at everyone there, and it made me happy to see all of them. "It's getting late, so how about we all just play in the snow?" Jisung suggested.
"Play..?" Minho raised his eyebrow. 
"That sounds fun." Felix sounded excited. "Yeah." Seungmin agreed with a soft smile. "Next time I will invite my other friend.. is that okay?" Hyunjin looked at me.
I panicked a bit. "Oh, you mean Jeongin? Ah, I should've invited him but it was kind of last minute." I scratched my head. 
"How about after we play in the snow we get hot cocoa at his cafe? is he working today?" Seungmin popped in. 
"Oh, sure!" I liked the idea. I smiled at all of them. We all gathered around in the snow-filled, empty parking lot and scattered to start building and playing in the snow. I felt the coldness through my gloves. I crouched low to the ground and started packing the snow together. I bundled myself together as I started to build something in the snow. I peaked up to see Seungmin saying something to Hyunjin. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but Hyunjin looked defensive. Then, I felt someone come up right behind me, almost making me jump. It was Changbin with a small smile on his face. He was close to me. "Hey, what are you working on?"
For some reason I wanted to hide whatever it was I was making, or maybe I was just trying to hide the fact I was looking at Hyunjin. I felt myself blush, and I think Changbin noticed. So, he stepped from behind me and crouched beside me. "Sorry about that blow up back at your house..I guess I was just worried a bit." Changbin had a genuine look on his face. 
He started playing with the snow. 
"Ah, it's okay. I don't blame you. Thank you for worrying about me though, but you don't have to." I muttered as I looked down. Hyunjin looked over at us and slowly moved over. I slowly looked up at him. Changbin let out a sigh. 
"What's up?" Hyunjin asked.
"It's nothing." Changbin stood up and shoved his hands in his hoodie pockets. Hyunjin tried to say something but Changbin walked away before he could say anything. Hyunjin crouched down across me. "Sorry.." Hyunjin muttered. He looked down while pocking at the snow. I could tell he didn't want to upset Changbin, but he couldn't get the words outright. "It's okay, don't blame yourself. It's not your fault, he's just a bit tired that's all." I tried to cheer him up. I didn't like seeing Hyunjin be bothered by something, but I didn't know he and Changbin were that close. "I feel like there is so much I still don't know about him." I thought.
"Hey!" I heard someone call out. We both quickly looked over to see Jisung raising his hand with a giant snowball in it. "Let's have a battle!" He yelled out.
Everyone looked towards him. Hyunjin and I both stood up. 
"A battle for what?" Minho let out, who was beside Felix holding snowballs in their hands. 
"uhhhhh, a reward...?" Jisung scratched his head as he started to think. He lightly shrugged. "What kind of reward?" Minho yelled again.
"Uh...." Jisung froze and looked around. "Ah, Whoever wins gets free hot cocoa and meal of choice bought buy someone they choose...?" He suggested.
"Ahh...lame," Minho whined. "How about that...and." he glared around. "A date." I saw his eyes fix on me.
"A date?" 
My heart started to race. "Yeah," Minho smirked and started walking around. He then popped up right beside me. "A date, with." He pointed to me. "The only girl here, Annie." 
I felt like everyone looked at me. I looked around. "He is right..I just realized I am the only girl...but, why does that matter? Why do I feel so nervous now..?"
I noticed Hyunjin's expression get tense. 
"Ah," Jisung seemed baffled by the idea but then let out a shrug. "Sure, why not?" He looked down at me. Everyone looked at me. 
"Who's in?" Minho smirked. 
I was confused. I looked around at everyone. Changbin had a strong look on his face, so did Hyunjin. I moved out of the way. "I guess I can't play," I muttered to myself. I was confused. "Why date with me?...do all of them like me or something? it makes no sense." I scratched my head. Jisung was the ref. Hyunjin, Seungmin, and Minho stood across from Felix and Changbin. "Hey. why is it only two against three? that isn't fair." Felix made a nervous laugh. 
"Don't worry." Changbin smirked at Felix, "I am going all out." Changbin looked determined and I didn't know why. My stomach started to tingle, and my heart started to pound. "Why...are they fighting over me?...or is it just a simple game?.." I laughed to myself.
They started gathering snowballs together and throwing them at each other. Changbin started throwing pretty hard, 
I noticed he was aiming particularly at Hyunjin, But as snowballs started to fly by and everyone started to get covered in snow. I saw Hyunjin's face start to light up as he got hit with the snow. The sparkles started to surround him, and I heard him let out a big laugh. This wasn't just a game, it was a memory. Seeing his face, his smile, it brought this feeling to my heart, but I couldn't help but smile. 
I wanted to join in, I couldn't help myself. I heard everyone's laughs. I picked up snow from the ground and packed it together and threw it, without even aiming it to go anywhere. It ended up zooming past them and getting all their attention. They all stopped, with snow all over them, and glared at me. "What are you doing..?" Seungmin made a small laugh.
I felt embarrassed. "I...well, it looked fun and I couldn't resist." I scratched my head. 
it was all silent. But, then I felt a snowball hit my arm, being caught by my coat. I looked up and saw that Hyunjin swung his hand. He quickly let out a laugh. Then, he got hit by a snowball from Changbin, then Changbin got hit by Felix then Felix by Minho, then Minho by Seungmin. Then we all started throwing snowballs at each other. Jisung then jumped in, with a slightly evil laugh and targeting everyone with his throws. I heard everyone laughing as we all got wet with snow. It lit up my heart. I forgot about all my stress, all I could see what them. I looked over at Hyunjin who I lightly hit a snowball with. I saw him having a soft smile while looking at me, I couldn't help but smile my brightest at him. I felt my heart start to thump, and my head started to get dizzy. After a bit of time, I started to lose my balance. I grabbed ahold of my head before I almost fell. Everyone seemed to notice and then stopped. 
"Are you okay?" Changbin dropped his snowball and ran up to me. "Yeah." My brain seemed foggy. I looked up at all of them with a nervous laugh. "Sorry to ruin the fun all of a sudden, I just feel tired."
I looked over and saw Hyunjin, looking gently at me. "Don't apologize. We all had fun." Hyunjin's smile made me smile. "Thank you." I closed my eyes. Hyunjin then quickly went beside me, and lightly took my hand. I was surprised and flustered. It felt like he was taking me away from Changbin. "Let's all go get hot cocoa now." Hyunjin made the decision for us. He had hold of my hand and was leading me down the sidewalk. "Hold up!" I heard Jisung say as the others quickly followed behind us. "It's a bit chilly anyway," Hyunjin muttered. I couldn't stop looking at our gripped hands. My heartfelt heavy and my face was red. I couldn't think straight. "w-why are you.." I tried to say to him. I quickly looked up at his face. He looked back at me and made a quick smile. "I just want you to be safe. I don't want you to pass out again." He slowly let go of my hand, even though I wanted to grab onto it again. I brought my hands back inside my coat pockets. The others quickly followed up right behind us. "Geez, Hyunjin, why do you gotta storm off like that suddenly?" Seungmin smiled brightly and scratched his head with his sweater paws. "Ah Ah, sorry Seungmin." Hyunjin chuckled nervously, then looked down at his feet. I couldn't say anything. I felt speechless by Hyunjin. I looked down, with a shy smile. I held onto my hand, I felt happy being beside all of them. We all walked into the cafe, and Jeongin welcoming us in. "Ah, it's nice to see you guys here." Jeongin shyly smiled. He quickly got us all hot chocolates because we were all freezing cold. It felt good to be in warmth again. I grabbed hold of my hot cup and took a big sip. I tried to warm myself up. 
"What brings you guys here?" Jeongin asked softly while scratching his head.
"Well, we wanted to invite you today but it was too last minute, so Annie thought that we could come to visit you." Seungmin made a cute smile and they all looked at me. I slowly looked up. 
"Why are you all looking at me? I just thought it would be nice.." I pouted and turned away because I was embarrassed. Everyone else started to talk and hang out while drinking nice hot cocoa, but Hyunjin came up right beside me. 
"Thank you for today." He said with a light smile.
I let out a light sigh and decided to tell him something that was on my mind. "You seem happier and open more lately..I noticed, and I was wondering why.." Before I could finish my sentence Hyunjin answered.
"I couldn't have friends without you, so thank you." Hyunjin quickly smiled, then let out a laugh. "This is a bit embarrassing." He scratched his head. I made a shy smile, too. "I couldn't have made friends with anyone, without you, either. So, thank you for helping me open up and be more trusting." I let out, with a feeling of relief being right beside him.
Even when others didn't trust him, even if all odds were against him, I always trusted him. I never doubted him, even if I wanted to. I trusted him too much. I trusted my heart to him.
He is the one who controls it all. 
I wanted to build this with him, build these friendships, 
"I think this was the first time in my life where I actually wished for something more complex."