Understanding Teenagers

56: Run, Ava, Run

Ava's POV

These last couple of weeks or so had been the worst. Prom was just a couple days away and here I was sitting on the bleachers with the sun beginning to set. Not a single soul besides me was here. My heart felt empty. Everything inside of me felt empty. My phone was full of Giselle's Messages that I had yet to respond to. Tears were running down my eyes. Looking at my phone, I pulled up a Three Days Grace song on YouTube. 'Animal I Have Become.'

"I can't escape this hell.

So many times I've tried.

But I'm still caged inside.

Somebody get me through this nightmare.

I can't control myself."

My ears had been listening nonstop to this song every day in the last couple of weeks. My eyes were closed taking a few deep breaths.

"So what if you can see the darkest side of me?

No one would ever change this animal I have become."

Before the song continued, I turned the video off and just sat there on the bleachers. My mind pictured Sara running. She ran fast. Within a moment, the video was on again. After about a minute, I couldn't take it My feet stood up allowing my hand to smash my phone onto the metal of the bleachers. There were a couple of cracks on the screen. The video was still playing.

"You piece of a shit phone! Stop playing the video! Stop playing! Now!"

In a hot second, I ran off the bleachers with my phone. Once I was on the ground, I smashed my phone again. This time I picked up my foot and stomped on it until it was completely destroyed. And was it ever destroyed? Once it was annihilated, I picked up what was left of it and threw it on the track field. The video was no longer playing. Damn it, I needed that song. I needed their angry music. It was the only thing getting me by and yet I felt worse every day. Walking onto the track field, my eyes just looked at the phone that once was. My mind went back to my first date with Daniel.

"So, what's that one thing that makes you feel alive?"

"I'm not sure. Most of the time, I feel like I'm just going through life and crap."

"But you like blogging, right?"

I loved blogging. It was the one thing I was good at. Who knew my stalkerish abilities would get me in trouble. Crap, I ended up in jail. My mind went back to the date with Daniel.

"Oh yeah. Love running. Sometimes running is the only thing that makes sense with all the pressure of getting into a good college. What about you? You like running?"

"I hate running. Every time they make us run in gym, I end up puking my guts out. But that's totally cool that running makes you feel alive."

I still hated running and so I walked back to the bleachers and laid down. While laying down, I recalled another memory of Giselle and Sara talking.

"Hey, Giselle. You doing OK?"

"I'm hanging in there. Have you seen or heard from Ava?"

"To be honest, I haven't really seen her around. There were a couple of times this week where I thought I saw her under the bleachers. I may be to blame for that. There's a lot going on for her right now and I think she's trying to make sense of it right now."

"What about you? How are you doing?"

"I've had better days" she shrugged. "If I'm being honest, I've been confused and a little hurt because I thought I knew Ava. She was special. At this point, I'm not expecting much from her or anyone. I just want to graduate and move on with my life."

Why couldn't I have just stop hiding behind that trashcan, stop being a coward, and talk to them? Crap, I could've apologized. Things could've been better by now. That's all I had been doing. All I did was hide in the most random spots I could find.

"Crap, what's wrong with me?"

Soon enough, I found myself standing at the track field. What if I could actually run? What if? That was the question. My heart wanted to run. That's all it wanted to do. Run! What did I have to lose at that point? The sun was moments away from being gone. My body kneeled on the ground as if I were about to race. My mind envisioned itself at a race.

"Three, two, one, go!" The gun was shot.

My left leg was out high. Once it was down, it hit the ground hard with dirt beginning to muster up. Right foot out and boom. Closing my eyes, I let my legs do the work. Yes, my legs were in pain, but I didn't care. This had to be done. My arms were working harder than ever. Right arm out. left arm in. Left arm out, right arm in.

"Left foot!" I screamed! "Right foot!"

Speed was gaining. With each foot hitting the ground, my feet would find itself covered up in dirt all the more. The pain was building, but I kept going. Within good time, I made it an entire lap. Three more laps and it would be a mile. I had to run this mile. Well into the second lap, my right shoe tore up. Now I understood why runners wore tennis shoes. With all my effort, I let my shoes fall off. Don't ask how I was able to do that, because I don't know. With barefoot feet, I was running. My stomach was in great pain. My sides were killing me and I loved it for some weird reason. Keeping my eyes closed, my mind went back to another memory.

"Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, I'm radioactive, radioactive."

"Hands down, one of the best concerts I lived through" shouted Daniel.

"Oh my gosh, yes!" agreed Sara.

"It was fun, but to be honest, Panic at the Disco throws some pretty awesome concerts."

"The bridesmaid is a whore!" I shouted while smiling running faster. "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the damn door!"

My mind was back at it again with another memory.

"Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you. Been here all along so why can't you see you belong with me."

How'd that feel?"

"It felt amazing. Honestly, I felt free."

"That's what singing does. It frees the soul."

An exciting rush was building in my body. I was literally running faster than I ever thought I could. A beaming grin controlled me. I was a lap away from running a mile and all I wanted to do was sing.

"Oh, give me the beat boys, and free my soul, I want to get lost in your rock and roll and drift away."

Before I knew it, I had run an entire mile. My body stopped to catch a breath. Yes, I wanted to puke, but I didn't. Once able to catch my breath, I found myself grinning again. Only this time the grin included laughter. "Crap, I did it!" my voice shouted. Another laugh ensued. "Take that all you whores!"

Something inside of me led me to run to the top of the bleachers. Getting to the top, both my hands turned into fists and were lifted high into the air. It was definitely a Rocky Moment. With both fists in the air, I screamed with much joy and I didn't care who heard. Although, I did notice a shadowed figure who seemed to be watching and quickly left. It looked a lot like Daniel. If it was, I could tell he was proud of me.

Hope that was an inspiring chapter! Only two chapters left! Remember to comment, vote, and share!

Next Chapter: Giselle goes to prom! Liam is moving to New York! Ava is about to pull something off! So much is at stake!

Thoughts on Ava being able to run?