Chapter 25

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Lana

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Lana


I was still awake; waiting.

I had woken up from a few hours of sleep and I was still feeling groggy. Feeling confused, I cleaned up a little, unable to stop feeling sluggish. It felt as if I was still dreaming and I was sure it was because I haven't had much rest since being locked in that room. Most of the time I spent it staring at the same wall.

I was growing sleepy by the second but a part of me wasn't ready to sleep. I couldn't not when i thought about him walking in through the doors any second now. I had to stay up just to see him again.

I sat on the couch with Josh's blanket wrapped around me. Pulling it closer to me I took a deep breath and closed my eyes as I smelled his scent. I knew that if he had walked in on me right now he would look at me strangely and make fun of me. He would come up with a dumb joke about how I was obsessed with him and probably had a collage of his pictures in the closet. It was just like Josh to find anything he could and make a joke about it in order for us to laugh. I looked at the door and heard no movement outside. Sighing, I turned back to the TV and continued to wait for him.

I watched the news and listened about all the other bodies they had found around the city. I wondered if they had been dead long or if they were new bodies. I shut off the TV and changed into something more comfortable. I moved my bags to the side of the room, careful not to keep them all in walking space.

I walked out to the rooftop and saw the sun had already set. Walking to the far back of the roof I pulled off the tall sheet that hung over the punching bag. I figured if I was going to wait I would rather do something in the meantime. This way I wouldn't fall asleep. Whenever I had a lot on my mind I found it easier to clear my head doing things hand on.

I pushed it enough for it to swing back and forth. Lifting my balled fist I began to punch the bag. I could only think of getting back into my real world. I wanted so much for everything to go according to plan. With every punch I hit I only thought of the moment I would kill them. Then my mind began to race. I thought about the last couple of weeks and why I was going ahead with this plan. My breath began to increase as I remembered that day. The way the cold wind hit my face as I walked the street. The way the sirens rang so loudly. The way his tears fell from the side of his eyes.

I shut my eyes trying to erase the memory from my mind unable to accept it. It had all been one bad dream and I was sure I was going to wake up soon. He would walk in through those doors and we would laugh.

But it didn't matter how much i tried to forget i couldn't. It seemed my brain had burned those memories and it was the only thing I could see.

I could picture them all as my punching began to get harder and faster. I'd move around the bag and then lift my leg kicking the bag also. I could feel the sweat drip from my face and I was sure the back of my hair was also beginning to get wet. After I had finally stopped and tried to catch my breath I looked around and realized I was alone. I looked down at my hands and saw my knuckles were red with spots of blood around them. I could feel my breath also become shaky as I saw his blood on my hands. I clenched and unclenched my sore fist trying to find my way back to reality.

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