Finding our way

I'll love you forever

Klaire's POV:

Walking out of Randy's room, I felt weird and different. Sure my head was pounding due to the alcohol from last night but mostly because I had just had sex with Randy last night as well. I couldn't help but feel dirty. Never do I ever blame Randy or even the alcohol. I blame my heartbroken heart for thinking this could be a good idea.

Once I was in John's and I room I wondered if I should even walk in. Although I'm ashamed of the events from last night, I felt embarrassed for even believing John would want a future with me. I searched my back pocket for the key card. I placed it in the machine and it beeped signaling it had opened. I opened the door and saw John had fallen asleep sitting up on the beige chair in the corner. He had something in his hand but I couldn't see because it was dark in the room.

I stopped staring at him and began packing hoping he wouldn't wake up. I stuffed my things in the bag and zipped it up. Almost accidentally forgetting my make up bag from the bathroom, I grabbed it and just when I was going to put it in the bag, I noticed a figure on the bed.
It stood up and came closer to the light illuminated by the bathroom.

I finally saw it was John and he came closer and closer to me. He wrapped his arms around me and embraced me tight.

"Klaire, I love you...I want you to know that I will always love you. I understand that you need time to think but I want to say something," I could feel his breath down my neck.

"John John, look I don't want-" I was trying to tell him that I was just not in the mood but he cut me off by continuing what was in his mind.

"I don't want to lose you Klaire. I don't, I just love you. Last night..." He stopped to take a breath and I could feel something wet drip down my back. Is John crying?
He continued by saying, "Klaire I was worried about you. I was worried about what will happen in the future between us. I know I said that maybe you weren't the one. But if you're not the one then how come I felt so much pain when you left yesterday? How come I felt like I made the stupidest decision ever. How come whenever you're not around, I miss your laugh? Or that love able personality. I love how you geek over video games or even when you meet wrestlers from your childhood. I love you and for you, I'd do anything. If it's a future you want with me then I'll give you one, " I felt tears pour out of my eyes like Niagara falls.

I felt happy yet sort of guilty. Although technically we weren't together at that moment, I had sex with Randy regardless.

"John I..." I wanted to tell him what happened last night.
"I know what you're going to say, and I just want to say, I don't mind whatever or wherever you were last night. I just mind where you are right now. You know what I also missed?"
He backed up and we gazed into each other's eyes. He smiled showing off his dimples. Instantly I couldn't help but smile back at him.
"What?" I said with a smile.
"Your lips," he leaned in to kiss me.
He pushed me closer to his body and I shivered at his touch. My body was acting in instinct and my arms wrapped around his neck.

His hand was going up my back and working it's way to my bra clip.
"Wait I can't, I reek from alcohol. I haven't changed my clothes in a day," I tried getting out of his grip but he pushed me back to his body.

"Then let me get drunk from you?" He asked with a smirk. Ahhh John, you're making this impossible. I resisted into his kisses and to his touch. I didn't want to give up to him today but my love for him made me and my body gave in to his hot gestures.

This time I couldn't feel more confused than ever. I felt guilty, happy, excited, nervous at what might happen in the future.
John you make me so confused.
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Love ya bae ❤️❤️