Chosen

Chapter 9: Turning

My mind felt like a switch was flipped. The memories I have from the order began twisting into something negative, something I hated. 

Everything I fought for felt pointless and I felt like a useless pawn in the hands of the council. 

I know this was manipulation, but did I want to fight it? Every moment I fought, I felt excruciating pain, which was only relieved by accepting the fragmented memories as reality. 

But are those memories really fragmented or am I finally seeing the light?

"Welcome, Vader. Your queen will be here momentarily," the chilling voice of Exar Kun booms through my subconscious. 

I want to give in to the pain. 

I want to let the Darkside when. 

I feel myself giving in, the excruciating torture begins to subside as everything becomes hazy. 

Is this how it ends? 

Am I really willing to give up everything I've fought for?

I see stars as I roll over and throw up, the pain making me sick. 

"I don't want her to suffer anymore, master," I hear Anakin's voice, though it's clouded by the fog that set into my mind. 

"It's necessary for her growth, young Vader." 

Every lesson my masters ever taught me begin to fade, being replaced with a twisted reality: You're too emotional, too fragile, the council will never except you and they never did! 

I failed the Jedi. I wasn't strong enough, smart enough, quick enough, adaptable enough. I let my emotions cloud my judgment and my attachments get in the way. 

But I don't have to suppress those to join the sith. 

The sith revel in their abilities to have relationships and to form bonds, although most are twisted and abusive. 

Maybe ruling the galaxy wouldn't be all that bad? 

Maybe, I can help others once I'm in that position? 

Why does being a sith have to be a bad thing? 

I feel my mind begin to shift as I accept my destiny. 

Fight, my little warrior. Don't let them win. You were created for more than what the sith have planned for you! All you have to do is fight. 

I hear the voice of my mother, clear as day, which jolts me into a sitting position. 

Fight, my daughter. Fight for the light. 

I feel myself shakily rise, grabbing my lightsaber and igniting it. 

The fog in my mind began to lift, using my last bit of energy to push Kun from my mind, causing him to stumble back. 

"I will never join you," I growl before standing upright with my head held high. 

"Oh dearest Satara, that is not for you to decide," Kun darkly chuckles. 

"Kill her," he directs towards Anakin, who immediatly ignites his lightsaber, taking a battle stance. 

"You don't have to do this, Anakin," I begin. 

"I failed the Jedi, I won't fail again!" Anakin exclaims, pain lacing his voice. 

"But you haven't failed the Jedi! Not yet at least," I plead, begging internally that he won't try and fight me.

Despite my pleas, Anakin rushes towards me his eyes yellow with the Darkside.