Things to read when you're sad :)

02

Kinda happy, kinda sad. Kinda numb & kinda mad. What's wrong with me? Why am I like this? I can't feel anything. I don't care about anything. The only thing I could possibly care about is the day where I can finally say that I made it - if I do make it.

Kinda happy, kinda sad. Kinda numb & kinda mad. Stressed. Stress. Stress. Stress. All I can think about. My mind is being consumed by the monsters that run the show, the monsters in my head. I am destroying myself, from the inside out. I can't control it nor can I help it. I am mentally exhausted, I need a break. A never-ending break. Something to keep me away from all of this negativity, but every time I think I have the solution to all of it, karma comes back and bites me, telling me that I'm stupid. An idiot. How could I think that I could get rid of them? They will always be there. There is no way to get rid of it all. I've given up and decided to let it be.

Kinda happy, kinda sad. Kinda numb & kinda mad. I am forever hurting. Not being able to help myself, kills me. But then again, the voices, better yet the monsters, are always there to comfort me. They always know what to say. They don't help, but they're the only thing reminding me that I am human. The thing causing pain at that moment so I can feel human. I know that after a while, these voices will become apart of the numbness that surrounds my body, but for now, I should enjoy it all now. While I feel normal. Although I know I'm not, it's good to at least feel something.

Kinda happy, kinda sad. Kinda numb & kinda mad. I had a conversation with the devil last night. He appeared in my dream. He screamed and yelled at the top of his lungs, it sounded like his vocal cords were being ripped out just to shout at me in an enraged fire. It didn't phase me, for I was used to this kind of thing. Getting yelled at in my own home, for not looking after my siblings. Or maybe it's because I disagreed to do something that was wrong. Maybe it wasn't the devil, maybe it was the vision, replaying in my head.

Kinda happy, kinda sad. Kinda numb & kinda mad. I'm hurting and it's all your fault, "dad".