Things to read when you're sad :)

06

You told me not to talk, so I didn't. You told me not to think, so I didn't. And then, you told me not to breathe. So I didn't. You have this overbearing control over me. Something I have no idea about. Something which confuses me. Why you? Why did you have to do this to me? Your words are agonising, your touch scars me. The lies that spilled out of your mouth like water falling from a tap. The lies that I mistook for the truth; the only thing i wanted to hear. You were my breath of fresh air every morning. You were the thing I stayed up thinking about until erratic hours of the night. I cried when you didn't say hi, and smiled when you looked at me. The smallest actions you acted out had the biggest impact on my emotions. Every look, every touch, every laugh that we shared brought out the best in me. We had the world at our fingertips. Now, I can't look at you without thinking about what we could've had. What we could've shared. What we could've built. An empire brought down by misleading feelings and excruciating truth. It was harsh, upsetting, infuriating. How could you go on for so long without telling me anything? You laughed when I cried. You made me the happiest; as well as the saddest. You were something I wouldn't want to give up for the world, but then wanted to throw away at the same time. The opposites i've been feeling are the opposites in my emotions to which you have left a huge, heartbreaking dent. It's hard to make you happy when you're happy with someone else, but where does my happiness come into play? It doesn't.. I'm too selfless to even think about my feelings when i'm with you but oh boy, do they catch up. Those late nights I've stayed up wondering if you even thought about me. Those countless days I've been here to listen to the same drama over and over again. And all of this all leads to the same old question; what was I to you?