Run

Chapter Thirty-Three

We've been in Vegas a little over a week. I haven't left the motel room, I don't want to. I don't want to think about what kind of people are out there. How many of those people are like my dad and abandoned their families? How many are here because they're lost and are trying to rebuild? How many are here celebrating? How many are like me and just want to go home?

I lose my train of thought as Alex comes in the door. He gives me a disappointed glare.

"You're going to get bedsores, you've barely moved this week. Come on," He tosses his jacket at my feet.

"We have new people next door," I chuckle, trying to ignore his bedsores comment, "I think it's newlyweds, the bed hitting the wall was starting to give me a headache."

"Jules, we leave day after tomorrow, if you don't get out of that bed I will pick you up and drag you," He rolls his eyes, "Let's go out to dinner or something, just tonight, something to get you out for a little bit. I'm afraid you might spontaneously combust."

"You think you're so clever, don't you?"

"And you think you're fine when you're really a miserable, moody pain in the ass right now."

I'm taken aback, silenced by his bluntness. He looks a little down but not sorry.

"Well you hit the nail on the head, hundreds of miles away from my mom and my life, in a city that was built on the thing that destroyed my family, and I have no idea if the father I never knew is out there somewhere, or if he's thought at all about me."

"I don't know what to do. I could apologize all day every day until we die, I could let you beat me with a baseball bat, I could put you on a bus back home and possibly get you killed, nothing will make this better. Please, let's just go get dinner, I don't want you cooped up in here. Just tonight, please, maybe it'll help."

"Just tonight?" I stare at my nails to hide my unintentional pout, "And you promise we'll leave soon?"

"Yeah, I promise. I'm sorry we stopped here, next place should be better," He says before disappearing in the bathroom.

My bag is at the foot of the bed, where I dropped it when we first got here. I will admit I should shower, I did a few nights ago but I stink. I should ask Alex if we can find a laundry mat before we leave.

When he steps out of the bathroom again I crawl off the bed and pull out some clothes, "Give me twenty minutes."

Brushing past him, I smell that clean, gentle rain smell I've come to adore. I miss that smell on me, like when he gave me his jacket at the bus stop back in Missouri. I have to remind myself it was probably a one off, it won't happen again. He wants to protect me, but he doesn't think of me beyond just protecting me. Who knows if I'll ever see him again after all this is done anyway.

The hot water of the shower makes my joints ache, and the silence gives me too much time to think about everything I've been burying in my head.

What would mom say if she knew I was here? Would my father even want to see me? Does he even remember he had a kid?

Once I've turned myself into a distraught tomato, I climb out of the shower and get dressed. I don't bother with most of my makeup, just enough to cover any acne I have currently.

Alex is sitting on the bed when I come out, just staring at the wall. He gives a hesitant smile when he sees me.

"You look nice," He says as he stands and heads to the door.

I scoff, "I look like roadkill with makeup."

"Hey," He stops me from walking out the door, "Stop that, you look amazing. No matter what you think, you look incredible. Always do."