Wednesday and I ( Female Reader)

Broken pieces

Warning, kinda very intense and mentions of suicide

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The world blurs before you, birds, trees, the smell of fresh dirt. The soft cool earth beneath you, you feel it beneath your fingertips It was still dark. Why am I here? Why does my head hurt? You sit up your head pounding

Oh, the party

WEDNESDAY!

Oh my god, Wednesday.

What have I done?

you whip your head to the left at the breaking of a twig. a doe looks at you, you look back.

"Hi?" She turns her head, her big black eyes stare into your very soul. you feel your heart strain.

"I fucked up didn't I?" She blinks, you sigh and rub your eyes. Another twig snaps, you both turn to look at where it came from. You sigh, It was nothing and look back at the doe, but there was only the forest where she stood. You lay back down if only you could melt into the earth.

A raven flies over you and lands on a nearby tree. It stares at you. "What am I the new zoo attraction?" it croaks back. Ok...

The raven looks at you, not looking away for a second "Look I don't know what you want" It tilts its head and pecks at the branch before looking back at you. "Ok... I'm talking to a bird" it looks at you croaks and flies back into the tree. Your eyebrows furrow, it croaks.

"What?"

It croaks again, and again then stares at you before hopping up another branch. You do nothing but stare, it crows once before flying off into the woods.

"What the fuck." you pull yourself off the cold floor, walking to the tree and looking up at it. You wrap your hand around the branches of the pine tree and begin to climb, you're not quite sure why. You reach for branch after branch. You make it above the other trees around you, the pine trees reaching for the sky around you, their evergreen needles swaying in the soft morning wind as you pull yourself higher. Your hands continue to grip the branches pulling yourself up, further and further you get to the top of the tree you feel the wind rush through your hair like it was hugging you and caressing your face, you lean into it. tears form in your eyes, you wish you didn't know why you wanted to cry. You smile a little as you look around, the endless almost untouchable world around you, painted with shadows and the first touches of the morning light.

The tears keep falling, you begin sobbing. Maybe I should jump. A little voice calls out in your head. You lift one leg off the branch you standing on. It's not like it would matter. The Tree creaks as wind runs through it, You can't tell whether it was a nod to go ahead or not. I'd get to see dad again. Maybe. At least I would stop hurting. Why not learn how to fly when you feel like you're drowning? You think as you stare at the many branches you know you'd hit on the way down. "Why shouldn't I?" you say out loud, as if asking for a reason. Quietly pleading for anything to show you a way to make it stop. What about Wednesday?

"Lord knows I only fuck that up. I don't really have anyone else to blame but me. Stupid..."

She'd forgive you. You know it. Just tell her.

"What would I even say?"

Tell her the truth.

"But- she- I-" You close your eyes and lean forward, daring your loosening grip on the branches to slip.

What about her?

You can't do this to her

You know you can't

It's not fair

"It's not fair."

"What is?"

The silence around you continued, You sit against the scratchy trunk of the pine tree.

"What's to stop me? My own cowardice? I guess I don't really know if it's my cowardice or survival instincts. Both feel shameful. Both are a burden. I guess I know how that feels. I must have fucked up really bad in a past life... Maybe it's my own fault,"

You didn't know who you were talking to. You didn't care. Maybe you were trying to talk yourself out of your desperation, or egg yourself on.

"I keep hoping it gets better. It never does... Well..." Your mind flicked to Wednesday, her coldness and her warmth. Why was it such a big deal for you? You sighed. You knew you had to apologize, You didn't want to leave her thinking she had done something. You didn't want to leave her. After everything she meant, everything you did and said. You couldn't. It was stupid, it felt stupid, selfish. Breaking anything good, smoothing every little ember of happiness you managed to stumble upon. You knew you felt unworthy, self-deprecation masked as selfishness. Happiness could never be selfish, maybe it was time.

You stand, pulling yourself up by the thin branches at the top of the tree. Your hands are cold with sweat.

Your hand slips with, the rest of you follows, a bolt of terror shooting through you. The sudden sensation of falling was more terrifying than you had ever dreamed, your limbs scrambling to hold on to anything. The wind rushed past you as your wide eyes struggle to guide your frantic hands. Your fingers brush a branch before quickly taking hold of it, bearly managing to hold the rest of your body weight, your other hand holding tight to another branch your sure would have escaped your clutches if another second had passed with the pull of gravity. You looked in terror at your white knuckles and the grip that decided your fate. You held your breath, unmoving for a time that went unnoticed. You didn't know what scared you the most, the irony of the situation or the fact that you almost died, something you almost chose somewhat carelessly. You swallowed, shaking, feeling a ghost, you looked down to the ground just to make sure you weren't. You swallowed again, before slowly moving down the tree, shocked still at your carelessness. You could have lost everything whatever broken pieces were left. For once that was something to fear.

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