[✓] reconnected , c. besson

↦ chapter 5, pov 1

3:00 pm, wednesday | ☹︎
(miranda's pov)
"what did that kiss even mean..?"

IT'S been almost 20 minutes since corbyn left, and i still couldn't get him off of my mind. i had so many questions. what was that whole thing about? why was he being so nice? what was he going to say before he left?

what did that kiss even mean..?

i sat there on the ground of the living, staring blankly at the spot where it all happened. "why me?" i kept questioning. "why would my ex-boyfriend come back into my life, and then kiss me without warning?" i said, my voice cracking repeatedly.

my throat began to swell up as tears filled my eyes. i just wanted to go back to that one tuesday night and redo everything that had happened. all of these "maybe it"s began to swarm my head like a hoard of bees. maybe if i just focused on where i was going. maybe if i didn't get up to talk to him. maybe if i didn't take his jacket.

maybe if i never dated him in the first place.

no matter how hard i tried, my thoughts kept consuming me and making me wonder. i didn't mean for any of this to happen, i didn't even want to be kissed. he knew that, so why did he kiss me anyway..?

i got up and walked out to the balcony of my apartment. i started at the busy new york city cars, people hurriedly making their way across sidewalks and into workplaces. "that could've been me today," i sighed "but i stayed too long out in the rain with corbyn, and now here we are." i turned around and walked back inside, closing the sliding glass door as i did so.

i sighed and sat back down on the couch, grabbing my phone. i unlocked it and opened up my photos app, scrolling until i could find one specific album.

there it was, the album i made years ago of photos of corbyn and i.

i clicked it and started the reminisce. i wiped tears out of my eyes while seeing the photos, remembering how much fun i had with this guy. he was sweet, funny, amazing, beautiful, pretty much everything you'd look for in a guy. i had to admit, i missed having that much fun.

ever since that huge blowout at the party a few years back, i had this feeling that i was missing something in me. i knew that "something" was corbyn, but i didn't want to admit that i wanted him back. i didn't want to risk getting hurt again.

but, fuck, i missed him.

tears began to drop out of my eyes rapidly, and i couldn't control it. i was sobbing once again over a boy who ruined me years ago. damnit, why can't i just be happy for once?! why do bad things always happen to ME?!

i looked up at my wall and thought a bit, tears still flowing out of my eyes like a waterfall.

"everything happens for a reason."

those words began to resonate inside of me, being the only thing i could think about at the moment. but what did it mean? was someone sending me a sign?

i shook it off, it was probably nothing. i went back into the kitchen to fix myself up some food, i was pretty hungry after crying for almost 40 minutes straight.

but still, i couldn't stop thinking about corbyn.

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