[✓] reconnected , c. besson

↦ chapter 5, pov 2

3:00 pm, wednesday | ☏
(corbyn's pov)
"i cried. i don't know for how long, but i did."

I ran out of miranda's place as fast as i could. she looked upset, and i didn't want to make anything worse than it already was. goddamnit, i'm such a screw up.

we had a good thing going! she was in my chest, my arm was wrapped around her, but i just HAD to fuck things up. god do i hate myself.

once i was far enough away from her apartment, i sat down at a nearby bench to catch my breath. i thought about where i should go next, deciding whether or not i should go back and apologize, or just go home.

i looked down at the hoodie she threw into my hands. she looked so cute wearing it, i felt as if we were back in junior year. why did i have to cheat on her? why?! she didn't deserve it, but i was too drunk to even think about that.

eventually, i got up and started making my way down to the subway. i needed to go home. i couldn't bare standing out here anymore, i wanted to cry, but not in front of the entire population of new york city.
———
once i got home, i cracked open the door and walked inside. i set everything down on my couch and ran into my room, jumping onto my bed.

i cried. i don't know for how long, but i did.

i just got the chance to get close to the girl i loved the most again, but i moved to fast. i shouldn't have kissed her. i shouldn't have put my arm around her. i shouldn't have told her that my heart beats for her and only her.

fuck. i regret everything.

after almost an hour of sobbing into my pillows, i finally got up. i needed to take a shower and relax. everything was going awful right now.

i stripped out of all my clothes and walked into the shower, turning it on and feeling the hot water down my back. i washed my hair along with the rest of my body, still having this cloud of guilt hanging over my head.

i got out in less than 7 minutes. i grabbed the nearest towel and dried myself off, fluffing out my hair and wrapping the towel around my waist.

i walked out of the bathroom and sat down on my bed. thoughts began to race all throughout my head. what if i never bumped into her that night? what if i never said her name? what if i never agreed to coming over? what if i never gave her my jacket? what if i didn't kiss her? where would be now?

is she thinking about me like i'm thinking about her?

something inside of me began to tell me everything would be alright. nothing lasts forever, including this bad luck that i'm having. that i'll find the one for me, even if it isn't miranda.

"that everything happens for a reason."

for some reason, those words stuck to me. i couldn't get them off of my mind. but why? we're these same words told to miranda? nah, i'm probably just reaching.

i got up out of my bed and went to put on some clothes. i slid on another pair of grey sweatpants and a white graphic t-shirt, one of my favorite shirts i own.

i walked outside to the balcony and stared. what did all of this mean? there was no way that i had just run into her last night by chance. was this a sign?

i watched as the birds chirped and flew around. i slightly laughed. "hey little guy" i said, as the bird landed on my finger and tilted it's a head bit, looking around. i smiled and pat it's head lightly. "i bet you don't have to worry about heartbreak and girls, right?" i said. the bird chirped back, almost as if he were responding to my question.

it flew away after a good 3 minutes, and i took that as my que to head back inside. i walked back in and shut the door, looking at my phone, which was currently on top of the kitchen counter.

i walked over and grabbed it, hooking it up to the bluetooth speaker i have in my kitchen. i opened up spotify and scrolled through my playlist until i found that one song i wanted.

eventually, i did. i clicked on it and it began to play.

0:46─⊙────────3:07
                 ↻      ◁ II ▷     ↺
playιng: lauv - tattoos together                
         ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮

i sang and danced around my kitchen, smiling. lauv was so insanely talented, he never failed to put a smile on my face with his music.

i heated up some microwave noodles as lunch, since i wasn't in the mood to actually cook something. while the noodles heated up, i soaked in the lyrics of the song that was currently playing and reminisced a bit.
~~~~
"corbyn where are you taking me?" miranda said, giggling.

"to the tattoo shop! you've always said that you wanted to get a matching tattoo, so here we are." i said, parking the car and getting out. i walked over to the other side and opened the door, helping miranda out.

she gave me a big smile and i couldn't help but smile back at her. she had the cutest smile, and it was that smile that i had fallen for. i gave her a small peck on her lips as we walked in, and i decided to get my tattoo first.
———
"they're so cute! it's exactly how i imagined it. thank you so much corbs." she said while admiring her new tattoo. i smiled at her. "anything for you. now we'll always have a piece of eachother on us." i told her while looking into her eyes.

the tattoo was in the shape of an envelope, and had a heart seal on the back. miranda always raves about wanting to get something like this, so i decided to do it for her.

"i love you" she said, giving me a big hug. i smiled at her "i love you too, i hope you like it" i replied. "like it?! this is the best thing ever!" she beamed.
~~~~
i snapped out of my daze due to the loud sound of the microwave beeping. i shook myself out of it, and walked over to grab my noodles.

i set my food down on the kitchen island to eat, but was once again interrupted.

Ding!

my phone chimed. who could be texting me?

————
☏