Bitter Sweet • Solby

☠️ Twenty Four ☠️

[colbys pov]
"So colby.. tell me about yourself"
I was in a therapists office. Sam and I made a deal yesterday, and I wanted- I needed help. I can't keep doing this.
"Oh.. uh this is my boyfriend Sam. I'm 18 and he's 17.. we've been dating for a few years now.. our relationship isn't the best, and it's my fault.." I mumbled. He nodded and wrote down something.
"So tell me colby, what makes you feel like your relationship isn't good?" He asked, biting the top of his pen while his glasses rested on the bridge of his nose, like a grandma reading a book- no offense.

I stayed quiet for a few moments. Sam rested his hand on my knee "you can tell him, colbs" he said softly, and I smiled at the nickname.

"Well...I- I tend to lash out a lot because I have trust issues and bipolar disorder, and.. it doesn't feel like me, it really doesn't. I don't know what's wrong with me.. I feel like there's more than just bipolar disorder.. "

"I see" he hummed, and continued writing. "D-do you think there's something wrong with me? Mr...therapist?" I don't remember his name, great start colby.

"Well, I don't like saying "wrong with" you can't handle how you feel and I get that. One of my friends had bipolar disorder and he uh.." he went quiet. "He left me, my friends, he went somewhere he wouldn't, he felt like he was too dangerous. I haven't seen him in.." he started counting his fingers; "ten or so years" he said, and smiled.

It made me feel better knowing I wasn't alone. Sometimes I felt like my body was being controlled by.. demons? I didn't like hurting Sam and I never will.

"I just think you two should maybe try working things out? Maybe taking a break from eachother"

No. No. No. I can't be away from Sam, he's the only one who understands me. I mean for sake not even my own father or mother understood me and I've known them my whole life.

"And maybe have time to yourselves.." he continued listing ideas but I just got more mad and mad and mad until.. i popped. The feeling was back.

"Listen up whatever the hell your name is, you don't know me. Sam is the only person who's loved me. And I can't- I can't- I can't lose him. I just" I clenched my fists as angry tears started flowing in my eyes as flashbacks went through my brain. When my mother hit me for the first time, getting bullied.. meeting Sam.

I couldn't lose that memory. I remember I was sitting alone at lunch, because I had no friends. Everyone called me "freak" including my teachers. They didn't know I was abused at home and nobody cared. They couldn't care less if I showed up to school everyday with a new bruise. But he saw me, he for some reason chose...me. Me, not the monster who lives inside me now.

Flashbacks cut off as I had stood outside the room, Sam hugging me. I don't remember coming out here but tears were still spilling from my eyes.
"I-I'm sorry Sammy" I whispered.

"It's okay. Dr. Stephen isn't mad, he told me to just bring you back in when you're ready." He informed, and I nodded.

"I'm ready" I mumbled. "Okay"

He lead me back into the room. I sat back down on the couch that was across from the therapist.
"So, if you don't mind me asking, cold you explain what happened?" He asked carefully, probably not wanting to make me upset again.

"It was him.." I whispered, you could barely hear.

"Who colby?" He asked, getting ready to write as he held his pen sturdy in his hand.

"The monster"

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Hey guys! Hoped you enjoyed this chapter. I wanted to leave it on a sort of cliff hanger! What do you think will happen next?

Word count: 667