This Is My Version; A Conor Maynard Fanfiction

Chapter 2

Conor's POV

I detached our lips to quickly pull her shirt over her head, my hands exploring her warm skin.

She was hot where she was laying on her back underneath me, her dark hair spread out across my pillows.

But something kept telling me she wasn't her, she wasn't the girl who had my heart, the girl I'd let go of over a year ago now. The girl that had completed me in so many ways and who had walked away with so many pieces of me, I no longer was complete.

I was a broken man, a broken man who tried to hide his sorrows from a million people who had their eyes on him twenty four hours a day, seven days a week.

My life had become a hazy mix between an intoxicated dreamland and reality. I could no longer remember the last time I got a full night's sleep. Or the last time I went out to a club just to have fun.

I had put up a brave face, gotten used to plaster on a smile when the cameras got turned on. But behind all that was nothing but a heartbroken man who'd forgotten who he used to be.

Squeezing my eyes shut to stop the tears from falling I let my lips move to her neck, sucking lightly on the skin just above her collarbone.

I wanted to feel something for once and I wanted to numb the pain that currently was raging through my body, the pain the alcohol hadn't managed to completely take away.

She arched her back as I moved my way down her body, but before I managed to reach the end destination of my journey did she grab hold of my face, moving it back up to her lips.

Her hands were tugging at the hem of the hoodie I was wearing and it once again forced our lips apart as I sat up to pull it over my head.

For a second could I picture those green eyes, the green eyes that had looked back at me so many times the last few years. But the eyes that currently were searching for an answer in mine weren't green, they were a dark brown and in that second was I thankful. Because looking into a pair of green eyes that wasn't hers most likely would've broken me even more than I already was.

"Come back here"

Her voice was soft as she spoke and it made every single part of my body tingle as she let her hands move across my skin.

Fast breaths mixed with light moans as our bodies worked together. There was no need for words, nature running it's course as she helped me out of my tight black jeans.

I was still unsure of why she had been the chosen one tonight but something told me it was because she shared features with the girl my brain never could forget.

They had the same hair colour, the dark brown, long hair that used to flatter in the wind. The pink lips that tasted so incredibly sweet each and every time I kissed them. .

Maybe I'd hoped to trick myself into thinking she was her.

But she wasn't, no-one ever was.

I missed the old me, the whole me, the me who didn't feel as though I was falling apart each and every second of the day.

I missed being loved and even more did I miss loving someone.

Most likely did I hold the record for the person with the most support around him who still woke up just as numb each morning.

I had friends who'd put their lives on hold to look after me and girls who just like the one beneath me could drop everything to come over in less than an hour.

Every day I see people claiming they love me, on twitter, on Instagram, but how can they say they love me when their actions are the reason to why I'm currently hurting like I am.