Chapter 19

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Conor's POV

"So they're just gonna put all of your covers onto an album and release that?"

I hum as an answer, pulling my fingers through her hair whilst trying my best to keep up with what's happening in the film we've chosen to watch.

"Sounds a bit pointless to me, not gonna lie"

Her honesty makes me chuckle, glad that she's comfortable enough around me to voice her actual opinion.

"Well, some of my fans want the covers on other streaming platforms that aren't YouTube. You know like on Spotify and Apple music. Plus my label wants to get my name out on the market again and right now I don't know when I'll be able to release original stuff again. It's a bit strange, I can agree with you on that one but since I'm signed I don't really have much say in the matter"

She nods, and I can tell she's trying to come up with something to say, the film now completely forgotten about.

"I just can't see that being very efficient. Wouldn't it be more effective releasing new covers instead of using ones they've already heard? If they want to get you out on the market again, I mean"

My cover album hadn't been the planned discussion for the evening but somehow that's where we've ended up.

"Its- I've got this original song that I haven't put out and my label wants me to release it on the album together with two new covers. It's a bit of a touchy subject at the moment"

I sigh, just thinking about it all making my chest go tight again. Yet I really don't have a say in the end, the song is going to be released whether I want it or not.

"Touchy in what way?"

In all honesty am I not up for talking, I'd already told her that today but it's Olivia we're talking about and somehow she always seems to be able to make me open up even though it's the last thing I want to do.

"I don't feel ready, it's silly really and I know it's just a song but up until now my fans don't know, they have no clue about how much I've been struggling since she left and this song is going to tell my story. I just don't think I'm ready to tell them yet"

She turns her head where she's laid on my chest and I can tell by her look that what I've just said has made her quite upset.

"And you've told your label this?"

I nod, sighing as I twist a strand of her hair around my finger, avoiding her eye contact at all costs.

"Are they fucking imbeciles? Like what is it that they don't understand?"

The slight tinge of aggression in her voice makes me smile, she really does care and for the first time in years I actually feel as though I have someone on my side for once.

"It's all about the money Lía, it's all about the money. They don't give a fuck about the fact that I don't feel ready to release a song because all they see is dollar signs. I'm nothing but an income to them and if I don't want to cooperate they won't hesitate to drop me. The industry is broken in that way. It's sad but it's true"

This past year I've hated to be a signed artist, banged my head against the wall in frustration every time we haven't been able to agree on something, regretted signing that dotted line eight years ago. All in all wishing I still was free to rule over myself and the music I choose to make.

But to make it in the pop culture you need a label, someone who's willing to risk their all in hope of just their artist being able to secure high chart positions in as many countries as possible. Something that quite clearly isn't happening for me, at least not anymore.

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