Learning to Love the Other Side

Hush-a-Bye, Don't You Cry (Josie)

 The mangled bodies, desperate cries for relief and the irony smell of fresh blood permeated the medical tent. It was a scene of both chaos and practiced order. Chaos because of the sheer amount of soldiers writhing in pain and the pressure for nurses and doctors alike to respond quickly, accurately, and successfully, and practiced order because of the number of times the doctors and nurses had tended the injured and ill; they were becoming a well-oiled machine by this point.

"Bring the rubbing alcohol and the brandy over... quickly dear!"

Josephine's head raced, and her thoughts muddled together.

"Right, the rubbing alcohol and brandy... gosh, where is it!" Josephine fretted to herself, frantically searching for the items.

"Ha, here they are." Josephine grabbed the things and rushed over towards nurse Molly, relieved she had found both things.

Josie watched the older nurse pour the alcohol on the writhing and injured solider. The young man cried out in pain, as Josie could only imagine the stinging pain he felt.

The young man was barely eighteen- if that. His boyish face was smeared with dirt and blood and his eyes darted frantically from Josie to his gouged and bloody leg. Josie couldn't bear the look of utter suffering in the boy's eyes or the terrifying way he looked at her; he seemed to be begging her for comfort, relief, or Lord knows what.

Josie knelt by his side as Ms. Molly tended to his wound and gave him brandy. Josie knew what brandy meant- he was probably going to lose his limb, and the brandy was administered in hopes of easing the patient's pain. She wondered how much the brandy actually helped.

Josie had volunteered to help in the medic tent, handing out supplies, and assisting the nurses and medics. She wanted so badly to help the Union soldiers and her country. And since she wasn't a man, she was determined to serve her country in one way or another. So she volunteered to help her neighbor Molly tend to the sick and injured soldiers. Little did she know what she was getting herself into.

Josie watched as the tired doctor strode into the tent. To Josie's great horror, the doctor had taken a saw into his hands after examining the patient.

No... Josie thought. She knew soldiers had their limbs amputated quite regularly, but surely this poor boy didn't need his leg removed? And surely the doctor wasn't about to do it in front of her very eyes?

It wasn't long before the doctor began the amputation, sawing off the poor boy's limb in an attempt to save his life. She turned her head away, not able to watch the gruesome event, nor the boy's pleading eyes. Josie felt like she was going to puke, but she managed to keep the bile down. She stayed close to the boy and tried her best to comfort him. Josie had no idea what to say to him, so she sang a lullaby to him instead. It was a child's lullaby, but it was all she could think of at the moment and figured that he probably wouldn't register what she was singing anyways through his suffering.

"Hush-a-bye, don't you cry

Go to sleep, little baby

When you wake you shall have

All the pretty little horses..."

Josie's tender voice floated through the tent as she closed her eyes and sang the lullaby over and over again, trying her best to block out the screams.

"Josie."

Josie looked up from her kneeling position. How much time had passed? The sunlight had slowly begun to wane, and she noticed the nurses and medics begin lighting their oil lamps. She looked up at Molly. The nurse was in her late thirties and she had been around many more ill and injured men than Josie had. Today was only Josie's first day, and yet she felt like she'd been dragged through hell and back.

"Josie, the boy...the boy didn't make it," Molly whispered sadly.

Josie didn't quite register what Molly was saying. The first thing she noticed, well, rather felt, was the boy's tight grip on her hand had gone limp.

"Why don't you leave the tent and get some fresh air." Molly encouraged tenderly.

Josie managed to stand up, but her feet were a bit wobbly and the tent seemed slightly out of focus. The boy was dead? But he had just been alive, very much alive. He was so young. So, so young. It couldn't be...

Josie dared to look up, and sure enough, the poor soldier's empty eyes stared back her, lifeless and empty. Before she could stare in disbelief and shock any longer at the corpse, Molly covered his body with a sheet.

Josie rushed out of the tent and puked. She couldn't believe what she had just seen. Josie puked again. When she had nothing left in her stomach, Josie sat on the dirt ground, placed her head in her hands, and wept.

When would this cruel war end? She wondered. It had only just begun, but it was ending the lives of so many men. Josie strongly stood by the belief that slavery needed to be completely abolished. But they were paying a handsome price for the freedom of slaves, and it left her feeling horrifically devastated and broken-hearted. Why did it have to be this way?

*** This chapter was a bit shorter, but I hope you enjoyed it regardless! And I hope you liked getting a sneak peek into Josie's world and the other side of the war. Please vote if you liked it, and leave a comment:)***