Lila's Life

Eight

My period is late. Three days late, which doesn't sound long, but it is for me. I can't help but think that I'm pregnant. I can't take care of a baby! I'm not even out of high school yet, much less college. I call Ryan crying, locked in my room.

"Babe, what's wrong?"

"I'm late." I whisper, worried mom will hear me.

I was supposed to get my period three days ago. Three days!

"Shit." Ryan says. "Um-"

"Ryan, what If I'm pregnant?" I sob into my pillow.

"It's okay, Lil. You don't know that yet," Ryan tries to calm me down.

"I'm never late."

"I know, babe, it's gonna be okay. Can I come pick you up so we can get a test?"

"Mmhmm."

I wipe the tears off of my face and get dressed. "Ryan and I are going to grab some food." I say to mom, and she says okay.

I run out to his truck, and start sobbing again.

"Lila, you're freaking out over nothing." Ryan says. "It's okay."

"What? I'm freaking out over nothing? What if I'm pregnant, Ryan?" I say through tears.

"Is it the end of the world? Having a little Lila running around doesn't seem so bad to me."

"Of course it doesn't, but not now! You think I want to have a kid now?"

He shrugs and pulls into the drug store parking lot. "I wouldn't be upset if it happened."

"What the hell, Ryan?"

"Shut up, let's go get a test."

I'm pissed, but I shut up for now.

We go in together. I'm embarrassed, we look like a young couple who slipped up, which I guess we are. He buys three tests, and we go to his house.

I pee on them in his bathroom. They're all negative. I sigh in relief, and go to tell him.

"All negative." I say with a smile, hoping he'll change his attitude.

"Yayy," he says halfheartedly.

"What is wrong with you?"

"I just don't understand why you hate the thought of having kids with me."

"You sound insane!" I say. I throw the tests away. "You know what, we can talk again when you want to say sorry for acting like this."

"Well I'm not apologizing. We're done, Lila."

Tears well up in my eyes. "You don't mean that."

"I do."

"Ryan, I want a future with you, I just don't want your kid right now! We're in high school!"

How can he not understand what I'm saying? He's making no sense!

"I said we're done. I'll drive you home."

He speeds all the way to my house, but I don't care. The faster we get there, the better.

I wait until I'm alone in my room to bury my face in my pillow and cry.