A Sapphire in the Snow

Chapter 14

Brienne and Tormund returned to the North the way they had traveled to Tarth, by ship. It was one of their wedding gifts from Lord Selwyn, and they enjoyed the pleasant, effortless time to settle into married life together. As with their voyage to Evenfall most of their time was spent in their cabin lounging together, this time in their marriage bed. There were afternoon strolls along the deck, and evenings spent at the rail admiring the stars. However, they would usually find their longings too overwhelming to ignore, and hastily return to the privacy of their berth.

The couple sailed as far as White Harbor where they disembarked. Brienne insisted that they pay their respects to Queen Sansa and her newborn heir. Mounting the horses they had boarded in hold, they rode the rest of the way to Winterfell.  The journey was a fairly easy ride. The hills in the North rolled gently, and they were able to follow the well traveled roads for most of the way. 

Much to her dismay, Brienne found that the nausea which had begun to plague her on Tarth did not subside when the stresses of preparing for her wedding disappeared. On the sea vessel, when her travels began, she had found something else upon which to blame the uneasy feeling. Surely it was seasickness from skimming over the waves that was causing the queasiness in her stomach. Now, however, she plodded easily along the trail and was relaxed and calm beside Tormund. There should have been nothing at all to make her feel sick. Nothing except for the one thing she could not bring herself to contemplate.

As she road quietly alongside her husband, memories of their time together in the North and beyond the wall came flooding back to her. Brienne focused on them in an attempt to calm her racing mind, and ease her upset stomach. It was when she realized that in losing herself with him on Tarth, she had also lost all concept of time, that she began to grow truly alarmed. Brienne had not noticed that her moon blood had not come. She searched her mind and drew in a quick startled gasp upon realizing that she had not bled since just before the battle at Eastwatch. That had been weeks ago. No, over two cycles of the moon had passed since then. She was noticing other changes in herself. Her body felt somehow softer, almost unfamiliar, and she felt as if she could sleep for a hundred years. She was not used to feeling so tired all the time. 

Brienne's heart began to race at the idea her brain was trying desperately not to form. She knew Tormund wanted children with her. Of course she wanted that too. It seemed a far off dream. Just as Brienne had given up the thought of ever becoming a wife, before she had fallen in love with Tormund, she had never wished for motherhood. Her dreams had lain on the battlefield. She simply assumed it would never happen. She was also well aware of the dangers that noble womanly endeavor could hold. Her own mother had succumbed to the valiant fight to bring a child into the world. Now that it was a true possibility, Brienne was suddenly terrified. How could a woman who had trained for nothing but battle her entire life be a decent mother?

Brienne did not realize that she had grown quiet and her expression was stoic, transfixed on some distant preoccupation. They had ridden for some distance and she had not said a word. Tormund noticed her suddenly solemn manner.  He had also realized that his wife was tiring easily. He was certain she was not feeling well, but she was not telling him. At first, he feared that Brienne was suffering some lingering aftermath from her battle wounds, an impulse he quickly discounted.  She had been returned to full health for sometime, and had shown no lingering effects from her injuries. He knew her nervousness over their wedding had caused her some distress, but that was over now and it had been a happy time. He searched his mind for other explanations, all but one fell short. The only reason that seemed stuck in his mind was that as they neared Winterfell, the memories of what had occurred there were plaguing her thoughts. He knew it would not have been her recollections of their battle with the dead. She was a warrior, like him, and learned long ago to deal with the left overs of fighting.  What plagued his mind was the thought that Brienne was upset over the reminders of her time there with the King Killer. Tormund had thought he had managed to erase all notions of Jaime Lannister from her mind, but perhaps he had been wrong. He had no doubts of Brienne's love for him, but she had held strong feelings for the man. He now feared that coming to Winterfell was causing her to relive the pain he wished he could have protected her from. Of one thing he was certain, he would know what was troubling Brienne, and calm her mind of it before they crossed into the Real North.
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Brienne and Tormund arrived at Winterfell in the early afternoon of a unusually sunny day, and were greeted at the gate by an unexpectedly large welcoming party. Jon Snow and The Queen in the North herself stood leading a small regiment of familiar faces. Beside them King Bran, who had ventured to Winterfell to celebrate his new niece smiled peacefully, almost as if he were peering into their further. The King's hand, Lord Tyrion stood somewhat off to the side. His expression one of happy relief that Brienne had indeed found the joy he knew she so richly deserved. Next to him at the ready, the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, Ser Podrick smiled at Brienne with pride.