Mates May Meet (Completed)

Farley, Alexis and Brant Felman *

Farley, Alexis and Brant Felman

Farley placed the last bit of dirt over Conan's grave. Her daughter Alexis stood beside her. Alexis' face was wet and she clutched her well-used turtle plushie in her tiny arms.

Farley swallowed the lump of sorrow in her throat. Conan had been in her life ten years. And the huskies death was difficult to take. But for Alexis it must be ten times as hard. Alexis had never known a moment where Conan wasn't there.

"Lexi, would you like to say a prayer?" Farley placed a hand lightly on the child's shoulder. Alexis sniffled while she nodded her head.

"God, mommy said you need Conan in heaven." The child's voice almost made Farley cry. "I don't like it. Mommy said you will take care of him too. But I want him here."

Farley knelt down beside Alexis and lay down the shovel behind her. "Oh, honey, I know your sad and you want Conan here but that's not possible, baby. He's in a good place."

Alexis sniffled, shaking her head. She was looking at the grave that held her lifelong friend. "No, mommy, he's in the ground."

Farley hugged her. "That's just his body, Lexi. He doesn't need that in heaven." She rubbed her back. "I know you don't understand and that's okay." Farley turned on her knees and faced the grave. "Dear God, I thank you for all the time you gave us with Conan. It breaks my heart that he had to go but I know he's safe in your hands. I hope you help us heal from his physical death. Please, let him know we love him and miss him greatly. Amen."

Farley didn't know what else to say. She wished there was a prayer that would magically heal her daughter's heart.

She didn't stand up and rush Alexis away. "When you're ready let me know, okay, sweetie?"

Alexis nodded. She turned an picked up a stick from the base of a tree. It was small, just the length of her forearm. She put it on top of the dirt where Conan lay.

Farley didn't know why but she didn't ask because Alexis had started talking to Conan.

"I miss you. Who will keep my toes warm?" Then she whispered softly and Farley only understood one word, mud. "When I see you in heaven I will throw sticks for you. I'll give you cuddles and tell you 'bout what you miss."

Farley wiped away a tear. She didn't want to rush Alexis but it was already late morning and they hadn't even eaten breakfast yet.

"Lexi, are you hungry?" She asked trying to keep her own sadness from her voice.

***

Two weeks later they arrived in Morrilton, Arkansas. Farley placed a deposit on an RV lot just off the interstate. The RV park didn't have many amenities but the price was reasonable. The park had WiFi included in the lot rent. It was also close to Walmart, gas stations, and a few other places she expected to use at some point.

Alexis had spent the last two weeks moping around the tiny RV. Farley tried to get her mind on other things but nothing worked. At night the girl couldn't sleep. In the daytime she was grumpy because of that lack of sleep.

Farley couldn't handle another day on the road with an irritated, sad five year old. Her only option was to park and settle down for a while. Alexis needed it. Two days off the road they planned their first trip away from the RV.

It was just a trip to Walmart and the gas station. Farley made sure to stay away from the pet section of Walmart. Alexis was in a fairly good mood and enjoying shopping for foods just for her.

"Mommy, can we go to the park?" Alexis asked clutching her bunny in one arm and a bag of frozen chicken nuggets in the other.

"Yeah, hon, we'll go home soon. But I think we should get some fresh veggies too." Farley knew from her daughter's face she'd said something wrong. She scrunched up her nose.