pretend it only happened in a dream | bakuiida

part nine | tender- tender touch

~*~

Kaminari is very good at picking out crying music. Jirou broke up with him, so he's devastated. He's picked up on the fact that I'm also sad, even though he doesn't know it's about the whole kissing Tenya thing. Sero is always emotion when he smokes.

We sit in his basement, a fat blunt being shared between the three of us. Kami has picked out a John Denver album for us to listen. Sometimes he mumbles the lyrics and then goes back to sobbing. He's really torn up about Jirou. He loved her a lot. His face is red, and his hair has grown long enough that he has to tie it up now.

I let a choked sob out as I pass the blunt to Sero. "I hate life man," he mumbles.

I nod. "Me too. But I love you."

He smiles. "I love you more."

Kaminari wails and wipes his tears away. "Why does this always happen to me," he grumbles.

We're almost done with the blunt, so soon enough we end up getting the munchies. However, Kaminari has already planned for this and brings use a pizza with all sorts of gross shit on it. We eat, and then pass out.

Getting high is fun, right?

When I wake up, it's late in the night. Sero is up, watching The Wolf of Wall Street silently. I think he has it memorized with how many times he's watched it. "Margot Robbie is so hot in this," he says.

I nod. Even though I'm not into women, even I can admit Margot Robbie is so, so stunning in this movie. She's stunning all the time. "Is Kami gonna be okay?" I ask.

Sero shrugs. "They're probably gonna get back together."

Good to know. Kaminari can be very dramatic when it comes to relationships. The sad thing is that I don't think it'll be that easy of a fix for Tenya. I mean, what the fuck am I supposed to do?

I hate high school. If this was college, we would have either started dating, never spoke again, or fucked. Either way would have been so much easier than whatever this is. He still sends me streaks, but he doesn't talk to me like were friends. It's been a week, he didn't even ask me to go to his game again.

Kaminari must have noticed that we were both up because he woke up too. "Good morning."

"Good morning," Me and Sero echo back.

I like Kaminari's house. His mom and dad are both musicians, so there's tons of instruments and signed photos all around the house. One time Kami got to meet Gerard Way, and I've been jealous ever since. His parents are laid back, and now that we're over sixteen, they actually help us get weed. Crazy.

I decide to get up and clean up our mess. "I wanna go home," I say.

Kami nods. "Yeah. Good sesh though. See ya' soon Bakugou," he says while smiling and waving.

I shoot him a wave back and start the walk home. Kami lives close enough I can walk home, even though I don't really want to. I used to skate home from his house until my board broke. Shit sucks.

Maybe, to solve the whole Tenya situation, I will just ignore it. I mean- he's not sure if he has feelings for me, and I suppose that I'm not sure if I do either. I just liked kissing him. We would never work, either. We are destined to cross paths, not intertwine. He's not out, he never could be, and he could never be out with me of all people. In another world, maybe.

I can't stop thinking about how he kissed me. He was in control, he was proud. And goddammit I finally got to make out to a Lana Del Rey song sober. Body Electric doesn't count.

When I get home, Mom is still up. She's folding clothes while watching Kardashian re-runs. "Hey kid," she says when I come through the door. 

"Hey Ma," I say back and walk past her to my room.

She yells, "There's a surprise for you in your room!"

When I walk inside, there is a big box with a letter attached sitting on my bed. Interested, I sit down and pull the letter off and open it. It reads:

Dear Katsuki,

Hey little brother. It's Mykiah. I miss you! Italy is really pretty and I wish you could visit (Dad is so annoying I even offered to pay the plane ticket so you could come over in the summer for a few weeks). I was cleaning the apartment and found a few things I don't need anymore and thought to send them all the way over to you. I gave you some jewelry, I know you might not wear it but sell it or give it to someone. David doesn't like some of the more gaudy stuff, so I though you would. I hope school is going great for you, I know how hard Junior year is. Also! Give your dear old sister a call more often, I get lonely. (My Italian is awful, I have a hard time making friends :(( ) N-E-Ways. Tell me everything by either call or letter (I'd prefer call, you know me).

Love, Mickey.

I smile at the letter and open the box. It smells perfumed. There's a billion articles of clothing in here, not to mention nick-knacks, perfumes and colognes, jewelry, and long stripes of thin fabric. There's a poster too, which I grab and open. It's young Leo, a total win for me. Tomorrow I will sort through all of it and decide what to keep and what to give and sell. In the meantime I pin up the Leonardo DiCaprio poster on my wall and go to bed.

The following morning is a Sunday. I make myself breakfast and wait for Mom and Dad to leave. They only have so much time to themselves, so they run errands together. The house is all mine today.

I wish I could have Tenya over and we could make out.

I don't think I'll be doing a whole lot of that ever again, which is disappointing. 

When I finish washing dishes, my phone buzzes eagerly. I check and see that Tenya sent me a snap. I won't open, at least not now, it will only cause me to overthink more than I already am. Back in my room, I have a box to unpack, so maybe I'll do that. Afterwards I'll get to some homework, that will keep me distracted.

I sit down and get to work, but the silence starts to get to me so I turn on music for myself. There's quite a lot of stuff in the box that's either too small or not my style. Clothes I can give to Mina or Kami, Kirishima and Sero are much too tall for smaller stuff. There's a lot of gaudy jewelry, just like Mykiah said there would be.

I pull out a long, dangling, cross earring. It's cute, definitely Italian bought. I bet Mykiah bought it when she first started dating David to show that she was a good girl for him. Maybe I should get earrings. It's not that hard to pierce an ear, right?

I take it back- piercing and ear is harder than I expected. I stop the blood with a tissue and carefully stick through the earring. It's cute, nice even. I open the cabinet to look for hydrogen peroxide when I see black hair dye. Why stop at an earring?

An hour later, I sit on the shower floor as black beads of water run down my chest. I run a hand all the way down from my shoulder to my ankles. This body has seen better days. It has seen late nights with Mina, and movie marathons with Mykiah in middle school, before that it has seen play dates with friends I don't remember. It has felt the fuzzy feeling of being drunk, and running miles, trying to keep up with older athletes, it has felt Tenya Iida's tender touch.

He was so gentle.

Right before I begin to cry, the hot water starts becoming cold and I remember that I have a text from Tenya waiting for me. Perhaps I am overacting.

After drying off, I open the snap.

"lets meet. today? lemme know"

So now I'm putting presentable clothes on.

~*~