Sometimes I Wanna Disappear (A Foster the People Fanfiction) [REWRITTEN VERSION]

Late Night Confessions

"I-I have to go." I shot up and ran to my room, slamming the door dividing our rooms. In my panic, I ran into my bathroom and locked myself in there, leaning my back against the door and dumping my clothes on the sink counter. As I slid down the door to sit against it, I could feel my stomach twisting into knots and slowly building up to an explosion. Everything that I had kept oppressed within me over the last few years was stirring, all of the pain that I've experienced was coming back to me.

My head was swimming in emotional turmoil, I wasn't prepared to talk about this. I didn't think these guys could effect me like this, and I don't like how they can get this reaction from me.

Eventually, I decided to take a shower. Maybe that would help me clear my mind and calm me down a little bit. Even if it was like one o'clock in the morning. I didn't care, people could bite me. So, I turned on the water and let it warm up, almost to the point where it would burn me if I stepped under the stream of water.

Just as I stepped in the shower and snapped the curtain closed, I thought I heard the door to my room creak open. I cautiously stuck my head from the shower curtain and covered the rest of my body, just in case someone had broken into my room. No, it's probably just one of the guys. I shook my head and went back to my shower.

I took my time, this has always been the time when I thought about the meaning of the universe. What? I'm not alone. A lot of people, like myself, do their best thinking in the shower and staring out car or bus windows. Finally, I came up with some halfway decent excuse as for why I left their room so abruptly and how I could talk about my life. I'm just going to do what I've done with everything else in my life. I'm just going to wing it, I don't even care anymore. I'm going to have to learn how to talk about myself eventually, anyway.

When I finally finished with my hot shower, I stepped out into the freezing air and shivered as I pulled my hair up into a towel to try and dry it off. I dried myself off and slipped on the t-shirt, it was about two sizes too big. I'm not sure whether I should be offended or thankful. I'll just be thankful, I'm sure he didn't mean for it to be that big. The shorts were guy's basketball shorts, but I was perfectly fine with that, I always wore long shorts for personal reasons. After I dried my hair using the hair drier that was in the bathroom, I pulled my hair into a super messy bun on top of my head because I was too lazy to do anything else with it.

After I was satisfied with myself, I slipped silently out of the bathroom and found the guys with their backs to me, staring at the TV, none of them heard me come out. Mark and Cubbie were sitting with their backs against the headboard of my bed and Isom, Sean, and Pontius were sitting on the couch.

Probably against my better judgment, I ran and jumped up on the bed, just managing to not hit Mark or Cubbie as I landed between them. They both jumped back and hit their heads on the headboard as they yelled in surprise and probably some pain. Their screams caused Pontius, Sean, and Isom to yell in surprise. Then, they all shut each other up because they realized it was about two in the morning.

"Holy crap, kid! Don't do that again, you might give me heart attack!" Mark was clutching his heart.

We all burst out laughing as Mark and Cubbie made some room for me on the bed. I settled comfortably into the space between them, my shoulder was slightly touching their arms. Cubbie slapped my back and congratulated me on scaring the two of them, they weren't easily scared, obviously. Well, that's what he said.

"So, I thought about it a little and I think I'm going to tell y'all my school story." I sat back against the headboard and nervously folded my arms across my chest.

The guys scrambled off of whatever they were sitting on and sat on the floor by the bed, which I found really weird. I shook my head slightly and scooted to the edge of the bed so that my feet were propped against the bar that held the mattress.