𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐍𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐍 𝐁𝐔𝐓𝐓𝐎𝐍 𝐄𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓 ━ five hargreeves¹

19│SECRETS, SECRETS ARE NO FUN

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❛ ᴛʜᴇ ʙ. ʙ. ᴇꜰꜰᴇᴄᴛ​​​​​​​​​​. ❜ ° . ༄
- ͙۪۪˚   ▎❛ 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍 ❜   ▎˚ ͙۪۪̥◌
»»————- ꒰ sᴇᴄʀᴇᴛs, sᴇᴄʀᴇᴛs
ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴏ ғᴜɴ ꒱　


❝ OH, IS THAT ALL? GREAT ❞

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The pair made their way into the kitchen as Klaus was pouring coffee for himself and Luther. Five, of course, took Luther's cup from him and then sat down in an empty chair. Klaus glanced up from his own mug, looking unusually happy. "Good morning, troublemakers." Alexa wondered how high he was.

"Jesus, who do I gotta kill to get a decent cup of coffee?" Five asked after he'd taken a sip.

"Hey!" Alexa protested as she remembered the coffee she'd served him what felt like ages ago.

The boy rolled his eyes. "You know you're exempt from that."

The blonde smiled in a self-satisfied sort of way as she took the remaining empty chair on their side. Luther— who looked completely horrible— groaned. "Can we get started, please?"

"Anyone seen any of the others?" Klaus asked. "Diego, Allison? No?" When he didn't get a response, the man sighed. "Alright, then, this is the closest thing to a quorum that we're gonna get." He tapped a spoon noisily on the table, causing Alexa to roll her eyes at his drama. "Now, listen up. There's no easy way to say this, so I'm just gonna spit it out."

There was a pause where Alexa sighed. As much as she cared about her brother, there were more important things to do. For once, Luther seemed to be on the same page as she was and started to interrupt him, "Klaus—"

Their brother cut him off. "I conjured Dad last night."

The statement was met with disbelieving looks which wasn't a surprise. The last time Klaus' powers had been of any use was way before The Umbrella Academy broke up and it seemed almost impossible that they would work now.

"I thought you said you hadn't been able to conjure anyone in years," Luther pointed out.

"Yes, I know, but I'm sober," he exclaimed happily and held his arms out in a show of triumph. Alexa wearily placed her elbows on the table and pressed her hands to her temples, not wanting to deal with the oncoming discussion as Klaus continued: "I wanted to talk to someone special but then ended up having this conversation with dear old Daddy himself."

"Does anyone have some aspirin?" Luther asked, choosing to ignore their brother's rambling.

Alexa glanced at him. "You look terrible, moon-man. What happened to you?"

"Thanks," came his sarcastic response before he sighed. "I don't wanna talk about it. Aspirin?" he asked again.

Five gestured with his coffee cup. "Top shelf next to the crackers."

Klaus made a noise of protest. "Hey, hey, hey, guys, this is serious. This really happened. I swear it."

Alexa sighed as she felt the uncomfortable night's sleep creeping in and stealing her attention. The blonde lowered her arms to the table and buried her head in them, welcoming the warm darkness as a distraction from her dysfunctional family as Five said, "okay, I'll play. What did the old man have to say?"

"Well," Klaus started, "he gave me the usual lecture about my appearance, my failures in life, yada, yada, yada, no surprise there. Even the afterlife couldn't stop someone like Dad, right? But, he did mention something about his murder or lack thereof. Because. . . he killed himself."