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Yoongi was chewing on his lip as Jungkook was chewing on candy. The younger made his way through half of the supply, limbs almost jittering from the sugar rush. When Yoongi gifted it to him earlier, he happily dug into the bag and had been in the same spot ever since.

Jungkook was trying to make conversation with the elder, asking about his outing with Namjoon and Hoseok. Yoongi gave him simple answers, his mind clearly elsewhere. The boy noticed his distraction, but didn't push him about it. He simply waited for Yoongi to reveal what he was caught up on.

Truthfully, Yoongi didn't know what he was thinking or feeling. He thought he had moved on from Jimin and their shared past, thought those wounds had healed to reveal a stronger version of himself.

But he couldn't have anticipated Jimin's revelations. And he certainly couldn't have expected his reaction to Jimin wanting to get back together.

He was considering it.

And then he'd look at Jungkook and feel so guilty that he wanted to pull his hair out.

"I need to tell you something," Yoongi finally gritted out through his teeth, disrupting their comfortable environment.

Jungkook smiled at him and moved over on the elder's bed. He patted the space next to him, holding his arms out and open. "Sure, but come cuddle."

Yoongi couldn't even smile at the cute scene as he trudged over to the younger, climbing into his arms. They settled into a familiar position - quickly and easily - like two magnets calling out for the other.

"What's going on, baby?"

"I ran into Jimin today," the elder mumbled, not even wanting to say the words. He didn't know if it was fair to reveal his uncertainty to Jungkook, but he desperately needed to talk this out with the boy.

Jungkook, who had begun running fingers through Yoongi's hair, dropped his hand. "Oh, yeah?"

Yoongi nodded against his chest. "He apologized. For everything."

"That's all?"

"No. He was really emotional, saying he wished he never broke things off. And he, uh . . . he wanted to get back together," Yoongi finished, picking up on the hitch in the younger's breathing.

Jungkook was quiet for a minute, absorbing what the elder told him. "What did you say? Was he upset when you told him about us?"

"I didn't really say anything," Yoongi whispered, "and we didn't talk about you and me."

"Why not?" The younger questioned, his voice wavering. His body was rigid beneath Yoongi's, tension evident in the way he sat stiffly against the headboard.

Yoongi looked up at him and saw how Jungkook was grinding his teeth together, his jaw clearly pronounced. "I . . . I don't know."

"What do you mean that you don't know? I thought you and I were working towards something good. You just planned that date for me and everything, so was it stupid for me to assume we were kind of serious? Did I miss something here?"

"No, you didn't miss anything at all." Yoongi sat up and faced him. "I've been so happy with you these last few weeks, happier than I've been in a really long time."

"And I've been happier than ever, too. You're the first person to make me feel this way," Jungkook insisted, meeting the elder's gaze and showing his vulnerability.

Yoongi's throat burned as he observed the boy's fear and sadness. "Jungkook -"

The younger cut him off swiftly. "I want to date you, Yoongi. I want you to be my boyfriend and to hold my hand. I want to call you my baby and to love you -"

"Jungkook. I'm just really confused right now. You've known about my feelings for Jimin since the beginning. You knew how messed up I was."

"Yeah, but that was then! Call me crazy but it seemed like you had fully moved on. And I thought you liked me." The younger broke off when his voice threatened to break.

"I do like you," Yoongi murmured, knowing he was doing nothing to help the situation. "I like you a lot. But I loved Jimin. He and I were together for almost a year. That's a lot of time to just give up on."

"So you're going to give up on everything you and I built together. Got it. You know what Yoongi," Jungkook rolled off the bed, "go back to Jimin. Be his boyfriend again. Because I don't want to be with you if you don't even know if you want to be with me. I'm so tired of being the rebound and second best, and I know I deserve a lot more. Consider our fake relationship over. This is what you wanted all along anyway."

Yoongi got up as well, standing opposite of Jungkook as he pulled on his jacket. "Can we just talk this out? It'd help if I could work through this with you."

"Do you know how it feels to have someone spend so much time with you, but still not know if they like you better than their ex?" The younger was hesitating at the door, ready to storm out. "This is the same crap I've always been put through before and this time I'm not subjecting myself to that. I'm not just going to stick around and wait for you to figure out your shit. That's not fair to me. Fuck, Yoongi. That's not fair."

"I know it's not, Kook. And fuck this is killing me, too." Yoongi made to take a step closer to him, but the younger gripped the door handle instead. "I wish this was easier, but it's not."

Jungkook opened the door, barely looking at Yoongi. "Things are as difficult or as simple as we make them. Maybe you just like the drama of it all."

He slammed the door closed behind him, the sound loud and jarring. Yoongi just stood there, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. The moments ticked by in silence as he stared at the door, praying Jungkook would come back.

But why would he? Why should he?

Yoongi didn't even want to be with himself at the moment.

He went to his bed, flinging himself on top of the covers and running his hands over his eyes.

What had he done? How did he screw everything up?

Something bulky was digging into his back; Jungkook's forgotten bag of candy. Yoongi grabbed it out from underneath him and flung it at the wall, pieces scattering everywhere. He deserved to pick up the mess.

It was quite reflective of his life right now.

"Fuck!" He yelled out, cursing himself for his stupidity and lack of grace and tact.

How did he end up here?

But more importantly, where exactly did he want to go now?

Yoongi had no idea.

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V A L E N W R I T I N G

Poor babies 😭

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