Crazy Love (mxm)

Chapter Eighteen

James' POV

I kissed Carter up against his bedroom door, desperately clutching at his hips. Carter arched and brushed against me where it counted, tugging a moan from my throat.

I met his eyes and paused for a moment, because I'd never seen him this way before. He was looking up at me with pupils blown so wide that his blue eyes seemed nearly a shade darker. His hair was already a mess, even though I'd hardly touched it. His lips were red from how much I'd kissed them.

He was gorgeous.

"You okay?" he asked, tilting his head to catch my eyes. His hand threaded through my hair and the gesture sent warmth right through me. "We can wait longer."

I didn't really know how to explain to him that it wasn't nerves that had stopped me in my tracks. It had been awe; awe at how beautiful he was, and the fact that he cared about me at all.

Instead of trying, I shook my head. "No, I'm not okay."

"James, we can stop—"

"Because we started without picking a sex song!" I said, making him sputter out a laugh and roll his eyes. "Please tell me you have a radio in your bedroom somewhere. I'm feeling Beyonce."

He rolled his eyes. "There's no radio."

"Guess I'll have to settle for your moans of pleasure."

"You jerk."

I scooped Carter up into my arms. He squeaked and wrapped his legs around my waist, desperately clinging to my shoulders. I kissed him before he could complain, resting his back up against the wall.

I kissed him until he gasped and bucked against me, his grip on my neck loosing its steadiness. "James—"

I walked us to the bedroom and we collapsed on the sheets, hardly breaking our kissing. Unsurprisingly, Carter grabbed me by the wrist and tugged me underneath him, smirking in a way that sent arousal straight to my crotch.

We stayed like that for just a moment, with Carter pinning my hands down and his ass planted firmly over my erection. "Fuck," I groaned, bucking my hips to increase the sensation. "You're fucking perfect."

Carter's smile was sweet, but it only lasted for a moment before he was kissing down my neck. My toes curled and I pulled my wrists away from his hands so I could rest them on his hips, bringing us even closer together.

He drew my shirt up over my head and kissed his way down. There was nothing more erotic than the look of pure desire on his face as he unbuttoned my jeans, or the way that his breath shuttered when he unzipped them.

I let my hand fall into his hair, not to push or pull him, just because it felt like a connection. Sure enough, his eyes darted up to meet mine immediately after.

I smiled at him. He blushed when he saw it, but it gave him the confidence he needed to take me into his hand and wrap his lips gently around the tip, sucking only a little.

There was something about him that turned me on unlike anyone else. He bobbed his head up and down gently at first, never able to get quite to the bottom. He nicked me with his teeth by accident, but the change of sensation sent an electric shock straight to my cock. His eyes were wide and expressive, his cheeks had the faintest hint of a blush.

It was right when I didn't think I could hold on any longer that he stopped. The smile he gave me was almost shy. "Um, I don't usually bottom," he said.

It took me a minute to get my brain to work. "Oh, that's okay," I said, grateful for the conversation to cool down just a little. I'd been on the verge of coming so quickly that it was rude. "I thought you were going to top anyway."

His blush deepened and I knew I'd misunderstood. "I...yeah, I wanted to at first. That's what I've always done. But, I don't know...this is embarrassing."

He turned to look out the window, so I grabbed his chin gently. I redirected his gaze and sent him a reassuring smile. "Go ahead. It's okay."

"Maybe...well, maybe I could?" He bit his lip. "I want to. It's you. I want to try something that makes me a little nervous for you."

I'd been about to tell Carter that I liked it better on the bottom anyway, but my words died in my throat. He trusted me to be the person to keep him safe while he tried something new. I wasn't ever going to turn that down.

I sat up and kissed him, long and loving. "Of course. It'll be great, you'll see."

And because it was Carter, who would certainly feel undignified if I tossed him on his stomach and ate him out, I had him sit in my lap while I prepped him. I used more lube than anyone realistically needed, and I kissed him as I pressed each finger in. I waited until he responded to them with gasps and moans before pulling out.

Carter kissed me hard, pushing me back down onto the bed. I looked up at him, marveling at how I got so lucky. He gave me a nervous smile before lowering himself onto my cock, and I held his hips steady as he adjusted to the feeling.

It was incredible. Just being inside him was amazing. And watching his eyelashes flutter and his breath quicken was enough to nearly make me lose it.

Carter gasped when I was completely inside of him, and he met my eyes with a look of desire hot enough to send an electric shock of arousal through me. "Shit, I forgot how amazing this feels," he moaned, leaning forward to kiss me.

The kiss was almost as incredible as being inside of him. And then Carter started moving his hips; a smooth swivel that bested any porn star out there. I grabbed his hips hard enough to leave bruises and cried out, desperately trying to stifle my moans into his shoulder.

Carter's moans were short and low, almost like a growl. He grabbed my hands to pin them down again, nipping at my bottom lip.

I tossed my head back, leaving my neck exposed for Carter's bites and kisses. I was definitely yelling something—probably Carter's name and a lot of profanity—but none of it was even making sense to me. All I could think about was how good Carter felt and how sweet his expression was.

Carter let go of my hands in favor of running his fingers through my hair, and I wrapped my arms around his waist. In just a moment, everything slowed down. His movements were gentle, and our kisses were more sweet than they were sexual.

I didn't really need to look into his eyes to know what he was feeling, but I did anyway. I looked at him and saw the same vulnerability that I felt, and the same raw emotion.

It was only then that I really lost control, because there was something so intimate and so hot about looking that deeply into your lover's eyes. I brought my hand to Carter's erection and jerked him off until he came, shouting and holding onto my shoulders.

I'd been on the edge the whole time, but watching Carter orgasm was all I needed to reach mine. I held his hips and thrusted upwards, choppy and desperate, only for a few seconds before a wave of ecstasy hit me.

Carter and I pulled apart, still kissing. I played with his hair, he cuddled into my side. We tugged the blankets over each other and chose to worry about the mess tomorrow.

Carter looked at me, all facade ripped from his face. He was open to me; this man of scowls and small smiles and playful jokes. He'd trusted me to see that side of him leading up until tonight, and tonight he let me see even more.

"That was amazing," he said, but I knew he wanted to say a lot more.

I kissed him so he wouldn't have to. "It was perfect."

Those weren't the words I wanted to use either. But it was too soon for that; way too soon.

I kept my mouth firmly shut.