Crazy Love (mxm)

Chapter Twenty-Four

James' POV

Today was the biggest milestone of my entire life, for four reasons.

I was three weeks sober. It was the longest I'd ever gone without touching alcohol since I'd been drinking.

Also, Carter and I, as of today, had been dating for a whole month and a half. This was officially my longest relationship ever!

I also had two big events today: in the morning, a job interview. In the afternoon, an AA meeting. The job interview was with Carter's friend's auto shop. The AA meeting was my idea, because it was getting more and more difficult not to crack.

Last but certainly not least, this was the longest I'd ever gone without masturbating. Four days. My dick was getting the break he deserved.

I shook myself out of my thoughts and focused on the cute little spazz in front of me.

"You have to straighten your posture!" Dillon huffed, pressing in between my shoulder blades. "And hold still while I use the lint roller; you can't just walk into an interview with lint on your clothes!"

I found that a little ironic, because Dillon lived his entire life completely covered head to toe in dog fur.

"Ugh," I sighed. "I don't like doing anything straight."

"So I've learned in the past two months. But I don't care! Straighten!" Dillon pressed on my back and I fixed my posture.

"I think I'm going to be great in this interview," I told him honestly.

"Of course you do, because you're way too confident in yourself!" Dillon yipped. He moved to the front of my shirt and started lint rolling like mad. "I get it because I'm the same way. And it's bad...well, actually, it's never done me wrong before, but I'm sure at some point it will!"

I wrinkled my nose. "Didn't you land your porn-star-sexy boyfriend by being way too confident?"

See? I paid attention. A little bit.

Dillon scoffed. "No! I landed him by being sexy and having amazingly witty pick up lines. Get with the program."

"You steal your one-liners from Buzzfeed; don't think I can't hear you practicing them from your bedroom."

He went beat red. "Don't tell Henry that."

Right! His name was Henry. I needed to write that down somewhere. Why did I keep forgetting?

"Anyway!" Dillon said, throwing his hands in the air like the walking cartoon character that he was. "Let's practice. Name three strengths: go."

"I'm a people person," I said, making Dillon's nose wrinkle. "I'm hilarious. And you'll discover the third if you take me home." I winked.

Dillon gagged. "You are not going to say those things!" he screeched.

"Oh yes I am."

"You can't!" Dillon pulled at his crazy halo of hair. "Oh my God, I'm starting to get worried about our rent. Does this virtual assistant thing pay well?"

Oh, Dilly boy. We hadn't made rent in two months. Good thing I fucked our landlord that one time.

Also. My job as a virtual assistant? A lie. I spent my time watching anime porn and playing games on my computer.

I cleared my throat and awkwardly dodged his stare. "Uh...yeah? But I still need another one if I want to start saving."

He nodded and took a deep breath. "Okay, well good luck. I'm sure you'll do...like, fine? Please don't say that joke about sex. Just...just, don't?"