The Sound Of The Ocean/SEQUEL-[m.yg]

~15~

I breathed in deeply, the salty summer breeze lashing my face. The morning was cooler than usual, the dark clouds on the horizon hinting at a storm that was coming. The cliffs were dead silent apart from the waves growing louder beneath. They caressed the rocks as they clashed against them, but also used that softness as a cover to break off large chunks, revealing their true, more aggressive nature.

It was my first time alone on the cliffs again. I hadn't known why I'd decided to come back up here alone, but it had somehow felt so right that morning. Before, I'd been afraid of this place, had dreaded to face it again. It wasn't the place I was afraid of, but rather the memories I connected to it. A few days prior, when I'd followed Yoongi up here, I hadn't allowed myself to truly realize the impact it had on me. Now, however, as I stood at a safe distance from the edge and stared out at the horizon, at the upcoming storm brewing far away, I sighed heavily.

There was no particular reason I'd chosen to jog up here instead of the beach. Maybe after our discoveries the night before, I'd felt like I needed to go someplace different. Somewhere that wasn't as close to that mansion and Yoongi's father, and Yoongi himself for that matter.

I'd woken up early because of another nightmare, despite going to bed at about 3 in the morning. Deciding it was better not to sleep until noon, I got up and then, somewhere in the afternoon went for a coffeine-loaded jog and ended up here. Yoongi was probably still sleeping, I told myself.

I wasn't scared, but it still felt strange standing here. It was almost as if I felt something pushing me towards the edge, the ocean raging behind me and Yoongi's devastated face as he stood before me, utterly helpless. I would never forget that face.

I screamed. I didn't know why, but I did. At the top of my lungs. And yet, the wind and ocean were still so loud, that I couldn't hear myself. I was drowning in the waves, the sound, the harshness of the wind. My lungs were giving out and it felt as if they were filling with water. Jimin's smile, him showing me Minah's picture, Yoongi's wrists, him yelling at me in the snow, waking up in the hospital, driving in the car with him, laughing, the cliffs, the cold, falling and Yoongi catching me, him kissing me, walking at the beach, leaving this place and returning home... I finally dared to open that door inside my head, long lost and forgotten. All the memories flooded back like a film in my head and I cried and screamed over the sound of the waves, the sound of the ocean.

Something inside me was tearing apart. I'd never dared to ask myself what had been wrong, what had bothered me all along. But perhaps, all I'd needed was for someone to forgive me. For Jimin to forgive me, for not helping him. And yet, he wasn't here to do that. So I would have to make do and forgive myself, tell myself that I would have done things differently if I'd gotten a second chance. I should have listened to him and helped him. But there was no changing the past. My vision was blurry from the tears running down my face.

Then, right there was Yoongi, running towards me like in a dream. It made me remember that he was alive and well. All those things had happened, but he was still here. The two of us were there for each other, no matter what happened. He was calling me, running up the hill and I smiled at the thought of it. I loved that man so much. I loved him with every broken part of me that was left and with every part of me that healed thanks to him.

He was suddenly next to me, his arms wrapping around me tightly. There was indistinct yelling. It felt so incredibly real that his warmth enveloped my body.

"Why does this feel so real?", I muttered in a haze.

"Because it is you moron. Now get up!", he yelled back and I realized that I wasn't dreaming.

The fog in my mind dissolved and in a cleared picture, Yoongi was in front of me, shaking my shoulders while kneeling next to me.

"What are you doing here?", I shouted in surprise, not recalling how long I had been here for. Thankfully, the both of us were at a safe distance from the edge.