Helpless {Lams}[Completed][Mute Alex]

4. Say It

Hey guys! So I'm literally crying as I write this because I know what's going to happen. Definitely do not enjoy this chapter and instead sit with me in the corner while we sob and eat ice cream.
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Alex's POV

"Two tickets for A Safe Place, please," said Burr from next to Alex, squeezing his hand. The cashier handed him the tickets and the set off towards Theater 10.

Once he saw that they were alone in the hallway he stopped and turned to Alex. "You need to smile more, Lexi," he said, "People might think that your unhappy if you never smile."

I am unhappy, thought Alex as he plastered a fake smile on his face. "Perfect!" said Burr, planting a kiss on the smaller boy's lips. Alex still couldn't bring himself to kiss back.

This is wrong, he thought, I shouldn't be kissing him. I should be kissing someone else. He pushed away the thought of curly hair and freckles that popped into his mind. He doesn't like me. Nobody likes me. Who could like a murderer?

Burr smiled and led him into the theater as if they were a normal happy couple.

Throughout the movie, Burr was constantly touching on Alex. He would hold his hand or mess with his hair almost non-stop. His touch felt dirty on the smaller boy. It felt as if everywhere his hands went, they left a trail of grime that Alex could never wash off.

At one point Burr let go of Alex's hand and placed his hand on his thigh, making him squirm uncomfortably. While they had only been 'dating' for a few days, Burr had never done more than kiss him and Alex prayed to whoever was out there that he would never do anything more than that.

Burr smiled at his discomfort and tightened his grip on the boy's thigh.

Alex looked back to the screen hoping to take his mind off of the situation.

The boy on screen was a wizard who managed to escape from his abusive uncle using magic. He made it to safety at his teacher's house where his teacher and his friend helped him to heal. They helped him to feel safe and loved.

I wish I was able to escape, thought Alex. He wasn't able to escape when he was little, and he wasn't able to escape now. The gentle buzz of his phone had him look down.

(1 New Message From 'turtleboi')

turtleboi: hey alex, whatcha doin

Alex smiled and texted him back, cringing slightly at John's grammatical errors.

justyouwait: I'm at the movies with Aaron.
turtleboi: oh
turtleboi: the crew and i are gonna go to the diner in a bit. u wanna come after your movie?
justyouwait: Sure. I should be there in about an hour. Is that okay?
turtleboi: thats perfect

Alex smiled and placed his phone by his side, having something to look forward to after this 'date'.

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"So, who were you texting?" said Burr as soon as they had gotten inside the car. Alex blushed and looked down, fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

John, he signed, my friends and I are going to the diner tonight. Burr sighed and grabbed Alex's phone, fiddling around with it for a second before handing it back to him. When Alex opened it, he saw that Burr had texted John.

justyouwait: Hey. I'm sorry, but there was a change of plans. Aaron is taking me out to eat.
turtleboi: oh.
turtleboi: that's okay. maybe we can try again tomorrow
justyouwait: Sure.

Alex felt a tear slip from his eye and stared out the window, hoping for it not to be noticed.

He had been with Burr the entire week non-stop since they had 'gotten together'. Each day his friends would reach out to him hoping to meet up, and each day Burr would shut it down. His friends and the Washingtons were all starting to get worried.

Alex missed them.

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Eventually, they pulled up to Burr's house and walked inside. "I need you to understand, Lexi," said Burr as they stepped into the hall, "I'm trying to protect you. He doesn't like you. He can't like you. Normal people don't like murderers, Lexi."

He looked towards Alex with a crazed look in his eyes.

"However, I pity you enough to love you, even with the things that you've done. And I'm the only one who will ever love you. But you have to admit it to me, Lexi. You have to say it. Say 'I am a murderer'."

I am a murderer, Alex signed with tears falling from his eyes. Burr chuckled softly at him as if he were a small child.

"No, Alex. You have to say it." Alex's eyes widened in surprise. He hadn't used his voice since he was little. Lately, he'd been wondering if he even was still able to speak.  He had tried to speak to get help for Peter, but he couldn't. He failed him.

"Just say it, dammit!" Burr yelled in his face.

"Just shut up, dammit!" yelled a man, "You don't know how to be quiet, do you?!" Ten year old Alex stood fearfully in front of his father, bruised from the beating he had just received. The man gave the child one final blow to the face before leaving the house for good.

Alex was shaking with fearful sobs, unable to say the words.

"You killed your own cousin and you can't even admit it! You disgust me," he said before punching Alex firmly in the stomach. "Get out of my house!" he yelled, shoving the smaller boy out the door, leaving him to walk home.

By the time Alex got home, it was dark out. He waved hello to George and Martha, taking Burr's advice and putting a smile on his face. They never saw through the mask.

When he got into his room he laid down tenderly, careful of his bruising stomach, and set his phone on his nightstand.

(1 New Message From turtleboi)

turtleboi: so, how was ur date?

Alex wiped a stray tear and answered his friend before turning carefully turning onto his side and going to sleep.

justyouwait: It was perfect.

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3/30/2020

Don't worry, guys! John will save him soon! Lams is on its way!

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Thanks for reading!-SunkissedChild5