Melody of our Love - Book 2

Chapter 26: Whenever you're ready

I was shocked when i heard what she said.
There was a lot of sweat forming on my forehead.
"How.. what..." What was i supposed to say? I didn't know.
"Wh-where did you get t-that from?"
I was in trouble. If she knew, that means i didn't have to hide it, right? But what would i do about Y/n then?
"As i said, i saw you on pictures. Beside that, uncle told me when i asked him about you." I was speechless. It made me glad that she knew about me. But... What was she thinking of me? Did she hate me because of what i did? I was about to find out.
"I...i'm sorry. I didn't want you to find out like this..." She kept looking at me, gesturing me to continue with my story.
"Y/n and I... Were supposed to get married." While i was speaking, i didn't want to move my eyes from Sarang's. I couldn't hold it. Everything exploded in me and even if i wanted to stop, i couldn't.
"Marriage Is when two people who love each other promise that they will stay together forever. Just like uncle Jonghyun and Jisoo did today. Me and Y/n also wanted to do that. I was so crazy in love with your mom, you know? Before we could do that, we found out that Y/n was having a baby. You, of course. We were so happy about that. But then... Something happened and we had to leave each other. I haven't heard of your mother since then. And after so many years, i found her. And you. I didn't want to tell you, i was afraid of what will you think of me. I was the reason why we left each other. But i didn't want to leave for this long. There was something that happened without planning... I'm sorry.. for being bad father. For letting both of you down." As i was talking, i started crying. I felt so much easier that i finally got this weight of my chest. I could breathe easier.
Sarang continued looking at me. But soon enough, she went to my side and took my hand, while wipping my tears.
"I forgive you, Dad." I felt so happy at that moment. My hands instantly wrapped themselfs around her and hugged her. She returned the hug.
"I think mom will be as much happy as i am."
I burried my head in her hair and let myself enjoy that beautiful scent.
Looks like we didn't even notice that someone was looking at us probably the whole time.

~day after~
3rd person p.o.v.

"Mom!" Sarang shouted happily once she came inside of the room and saw her mother awake, sitting on the bed.
She instantly jumped on the bed and in her mother's arms to hug her.
"Oh my sweetheart, i missed you so much." She said while carresing her daughter's hair.
After a while, they released the hug.
"Mom, i have a surprise for you!"
Y/n raised her eyebrow. "You do? What Is it?" Sarang couldn't keep huge smile from forming, which got Y/n even more confused at that point.
"I will go get it. But close your eyes, so that you can surprise more." Y/n made a confused look on her face, but still did as Sarang told her. 
Sarang went outside and grabbed Jungkook's hand. He didn't know what was it about, but she lead him inside the room. When they got inside, he was surprised to see that Y/n was awake. She probably woke up when he went downstairs to grab a coffe. Sarang led him to in front of the bed and he stayed there, frozen.
"You can open your eyes now, mom."
When she did, a little smile that she had until then, dissapeared. Two of them had a strong eye contact, None of them could move it.
Sarang was looking at both of them, waiting for some kind of reaction.
When she got none, she spoke.
"Mom?" But still, nothing.
"Mom, aren't you happy? It's Dad! He came back to us!"
All Y/n did was tear up.
"Honey, can you leave us alone for a bit?" She asked. Sarang looked a bit dissapointed, but still left the room without saying a word.

Jungkook's p.o.v.
When Sarang left, dead silence filled the room. I had mixed emotions and was uncomfortable. She kept looking at me with teary eyes. She opened her mouth to say something, but closed them right away.
After a while, she lowered her gaze and put it on the blanket in front of her. She used her hand to cover her mouth and quietly sobbed.
I felt helpless. I wanted to go to her, hug her and not let her cry, but i knew this was too much for her to handle. I wasn't sure if she would want me to come that close.
I decided to finally break the silence.
"A-are you... Feeling... Any better?"
Once she heard me, she lifted her head and returned her gaze to me, still keeping her hand on her mouth.
"This Is a dream right?" She asked.
"It has to be. You.. you can't be here..you.." she looked to shocked to even speak properly.
"Are you real?" I was taken aback from her question, but still answered.
"I am." She started crying even more after hearing my responce.
"Where have you been all this time? I thought you were..."
"I was in coma." Her eyes slightly widened.
"I survived that incident, but it costed me 5 years of my life."
She was carefully listening to me while crying. It was breaking my heart to see her like that, but in the end, i could do anything to stop her.
"Can i hug you?" It just slipped out my mouth without even thinking. When i realised what i said, my eyes widened. But before i could say something else, she jumped out of the bed and ran to me. I met her halfway and she hugged me so tight. In that moment, i felt different. I didn't even realise how dead i felt until that moment. Her warmth filled my body and for the first time in a while, i felt alive. It was such a beautiful feeling that words can't describe. I carresed her hair and was taking in all of her scents and whole presence. I couldn't get enough od how soft and pretty her hair was. How she whole was pretty. Beautiful.
I felt her hugging me even tighter and how she started sobbing on my shoulder.
"I missed you." She said in the most soft and quiet way possible, and it caused me to tear up as well. I missed you too. More than you can ever imagine.

~later~

After a while, we sat on the bed again. She was looking at me, but more like through me. She seemed lost in her thoughts. I interrupted it when i took her hand and held it in mine.
"Listen Y/n... I'm sorry." I hoped for some kind of reaction, but i got none. She remained as calm as before.
"For everything that i did. I wasn't myself at that time. I was drugged. That caused me to act like a complete idiot. I didn't realise what was i doing.  When i look back at that i want to punch myself for doing that to you. For leaving you. For not believing you. For not listening to you, for breaking you, yelling at you... I wish i could change all of that but i can't. But now i came back to you. And our daughter. I will give you two everything that we missed for this years. I promise i will be the best fiance and father. Can you give me a chance to do that?"
Few tears fell from her eyes and wet her cheeks. But her expression still didn't change. I was waiting for her answer, and i didn't get in in a while minute. But when i did, it wasn't the one i was hoping for.
"I'm sorry, but i don't know if i'm ready to trust you again."
My heart, was about to explode.
"I don't know what happened to you back then, and i don't want to know. But i can't risk it again. I put all of my trust in you, and you managed to take it so easily." Her hands started shaking, i could feel it. Her voice became shaky as well.
"How could you believe some fake pictures instead of me? You knew me. You knew i would never lie to you, and you accused me for cheating. I loved you with my whole heart, how do you think i would be able to just sleep like that with some other guy?" I was carefully listening for everything she had to say. I got everything out, now it was her turn. She made a short pause before continuing.
"Do you remember what you said?" I did. But i was too afraid to say it.
"Our baby? I don't know if that child Is even mine." That sentence really never left my mind.
"I could take you blaming me for cheating and not believing in me. But the fact that you didn't believe in our child. Our." The look in her eyes changed. It looked so hurt that i wanted to burn myself right then and there.
"I almost lost her." I think my heart exploded at that moment. The way she said it...
"So i can't risk everything again. I don't know how she found out and i don't want to know. But i would like to continue with my life,nif that's not a problem. Without you."
What could i say? She was right. For every single thing she said, she was right. My only wish was for her to be happy. If she was happy without me, then how could i stay?
"Alright. I will leave you alone."
She lowered her head. I knew this wasn't as easy for her as it seemed. If i was in her place, it would be hard for me to let her go, no matter how much i wanted to.
"But i want to ask you something."
She wipped her cheeks from tears and returned her gaze to me.
"I want to be able to see Sarang in my free time." Maybe this was too big of a thing for her to do, but that was all i was asking for. Not seeing her, but Sarang. It was impossible for me to imagine my life without her now. I would be happy with seeing her at least once a month, just to be able to spend some time with her. To be a good father as i should.
She thought about it before answering me.
"Okay. I can't leave her without a father now that she knows that she has him." I gave her a big smile.
"Thank you. You made me so happy."
She smiled sadly.
"I'm sorry that i can't make you happy in some other way."
I really gave myself hope about that she Is going to forgive me, so i was hurt when she didn't. But little did she know, i was happy with even just being able to see her. Safe, and alive.
Even though she doesn't want that, i will continue to keep her safe, even if it cost me my own life. She deserves to be happy.
"That's fine. I am glad that you are safe. That's all i need right now."
She smiled once again and her eyes became teary. She cried more times then than she did for 4 years that we spent together.
Without thinking, i leaned forward a caught her off guard. I was looking at her lips and was dying to kiss them for one last time. She wasn't trying to stop me. However, before i landed my lips on hers, i lifted my head and instead, kissed her forehead. I felt her shivering under my touch. I stayed like that, wanting to feel her skin as much as possible. Who knew if i would be able to do it ever again so i let myself take it all.
Then, i moved my lips and put our foreheads together. She had her eyes closed even though tears were coming down her face, so i did the same.
"Remember, i will always wait for you. Maybe someday you will change your mind. But i won't force you to do it. Whenever you're ready, you can come. Okay?" I whispered as gentle as i can and i felt her nodding.
Moments later, i went away and stood up from the bed. I was about to go out, but i stopped and turned towards her again.
"Take care, Y/n." She took big breath before smilling in the softest way possible, the one only she could do. My favourite.
"You too, Jungkook. Good luck with your music. And say hi to the boys for me, will you?"
I returned the smile, "Of course."
And with that said, i quietly went outside.