Medical Emergency

Getaway

"Where are we going Em?" Liz asks as I head back to the hotel. "We're going home." I say. "What happened?" I say nothing. My face burning with rage. How could he not tell me? How could he bring me out here, share dinner with me, take me to buy clothes, and let me sing a part in their new song..how could he lie to me? Right to my face? He knows how I feel about the entire thing. He knows how important it was to me that we keep this casual..knew...he knew. 

I get to the hotel room, packing my bags. I grab a few clothes scattered on the floor. Collin's hoodie and boxers fall at my feet. The ones I wore while I slept, next to him. I toss them onto the bed and zip up my duffle. I meet Liz in the hallway, getting into the airport transport van. The drive is quiet, besides the random questions from the driver on our abrupt trip home. Handing the ticket at the gate I make sure the desk knows to send my luggage back home, if they ever find it. I sit on the plane, immediately putting in my headphones. Liz sits next to me, putting her head on my shoulder. 

~~

I get back to the hotel room, it's empty. I feel like I've been out of breath after chasing her. I see my hoodie and boxers on the bed. The only piece of her left in this room. There's a knock at the door, I open it slowly. "Hi, um, I'm looking for Emily Marchesi. We found her luggage." He hands me a maroon duffle bag. I take it, plopping it onto the bed. I pace around staring at it for a minute. Dallas is at my side, I didn't even hear the door open. "You gonna open it?" He asks. "Why would I? It's not mine." I say, he sits on the bed next to it. "Just do it, you know you want to." He says, sliding the zipper. I sit down opposite him and the bag. He dumps it quickly on the bed.."oops.." He says, standing and walking out the door. I can't send it to her without her things in it. I slowly put everything into the bag, hoping she won't notice. Before I close it, I pull out a pen and paper. She needs to know everything. 

~~

I get back from my walk down the road, sipping my iced coffee. A guy stands at the door, hitting the intercom. "Can I help you?" I ask. "Yeah, I have this package for you." He hands me my duffle bag, the one I lost going to LA last week. I take it, unlocking the door to my building and hiking up the three flights of stairs. It's easier now the more I've been walking. I toss it into the corner of my floor, not wanting to deal with it. I lay back in my bed, curling up into the blankets. I haven't heard from Collin in a week, since that day. I've been ignoring Matt, I just don't want to deal with life right now. 

I wake up, the sun shining through the windows, pulling me out of my trance. I sit up, rubbing my eyes. After fixing a pot of coffee, pouring it into my favorite mug with my favorite creamer, I make my way back into my room. Now seems a good of a time as any to empty my bag. Liz is at work today so it's just me. I start opening the bag, tossing my unworn panties and bras into the drawers, hanging up my dresses in my closet. As I get to the bottom, I see something that isn't mine. A dark blue, slightly ratted hoodie, 'Drexel' across the front of it in gray and white letters. his boxers underneath it. I hold it up, sitting in a criss-cross on my floor, a thin piece of paper falls out of the hoodie, like it was hidden in there. I toss the hoodie aside, holding the tri-folded paper in my hands. 

'Emily, 

I'm sorry. I want you to know that I am sincerely, incredibly sorry. It's true, I have feelings for you. It started the second I met you, but I dug a hole deep down inside myself and locked them away. The way that you light up, like a bright star in the midst of a dark universe, the way you watch the fire crackle in front of you like a wildfire racing towards a beautiful, overgrown forest. I am lost in you. The way you crinkle your nose at funny jokes, or roll your eyes at me whenever I call you by your last name. Or the way you ruffle my hair with your fingers. Each and every moment, leave permanent scars within me. I remember the moment you told me we couldn't be anything. The pain in my chest, like a thousand ton boulder fell on me, crushing me. It's true, I feel things for you. And I know, I broke the rules. But I don't care. That song, the one I wrote for you. It's my call to you, standing outside your window with a boom box over my head, my climb up your rose garden to your door, the sound the rocks make as I toss them at the window. Each moment, like those from every love story. I do love you, I'll admit it. I see the world in your eyes, the crashing seas and blissful rain. You are magnificent. You are brilliant, and smart, and funny. Every part of me is yours. I'm so sorry.'