Medical Emergency

I Surrender

The plane lands. I haven't been able to sleep in a few days, just tossing and turning in my bed. I can feel the dark circles under my eyes, trying to cover them up with my makeup. I grab my carry on from the overhead bin and follow the lines of people out of the plane. "Von said he'll meet us out there, not sure if Collin is with him." Liz says as we grab our bags from luggage. Thankfully, mine comes this time. As we walk down to the main entrance, Von stands there keys in hand. "Hey you!" He picks Liz up and spins her around, kissing her for a minute. He helps us get our things into the van and we pile in. Liz and Von in the front, me in the back by myself. The drive to the hotel is short, we stop for coffee on the way. 

Pulling up to the hotel, we grab our bags. "Emily Marchesi." I say to the woman at the front desk, young and pretty. "I don't have a reservation under that name?" She says. I look through my phone, I can't find the email with the reservation confirmation. "Oh sorry, we switched around rooms." Von tells me. "Liz and me, Dallas and Venti, Veno and his girlfriend, you and Col." He smiles, I roll my eyes and smile. She hands me a room key and I head up. Room 775. I unlock the door and open it. A room, filled with candles and dim flickering. "What the.." I look around the room, rose petals and candles. "Hey you." Collin stands in the middle of the room. He smiles wide, looking up at me. I run and hug him. "I missed you." He says in my ear. "What is all of this?" I ask, pulling away and looking around the room. "I wanted to do something special for you." He smiles, sitting on the bed. I sit next to him, nudging his shoulder. "Hey, why so glum?" I joke. "I'm not, I just haven't been sleeping much lately." He rubs his eyes, is it like some weird telepathy? I can't sleep, so he can't sleep? I get up finally, the silence between us deafening. "Where you going?" He asks. "Shower.." I point to it standing in the bathroom. "Might I join?" He asks, standing and walking to the doorway. "How about we take a bath instead?" I ask, the huge jacuzzi tub. He smiles, moving the candles from the room into the bath. I let the tub fill with hot water. 

I feel his eyes on me from the doorway, pretending like I don't see him. Sliding my clothes to the floor and stepping in the bath. The bubbles cover me as I meet his eyes. He tosses his clothes onto the bathroom floor, getting in behind me. I lean back against him, the soothing bubbles and flicker of candlelight. "How was your visit?" He asks, referring to the fact that Matt visited before I came here. "Good, made dinner, watched movies. It rained a lot so couldn't really go anywhere and it was only like two days." I play with the bubbles in front of me. I lean forward, spinning around to face him and lean on the opposite side of the tub. Our eyes lock, silence. "What?" He asks, chuckling. "Just staring." I don't move, like I'm frozen in this steaming hot tub. "well take a picture, damn," he splashes some water in my direction. "You're in luck." I grab my polaroid camera from outside the tub, I put it there on purpose. I snap a picture, waiting for it to develop. "When'd you get that?" He asks. "I got it a while ago, found it when we moved. Figured I'd take more pictures." I look at it, his green eyes visible in the small, low definition. God, he's so good to look at. I always find myself thinking of his forest green eyes. "My turn." He takes the camera from me, snapping his own picture. "This ones mine." He holds it up. "And I'm keeping it." He tosses it onto his clothes. "Fine, then I'm keeping this one." I toss the picture of him with my pile. He leans back in the tub. "What are you thinking about? You just keep looking at me but not saying anything." I lean back on my side, our legs stretched out, touching under the water. "Collin...I feel things. Like real things. I know I've said I love you and I feel that, but I feel more things..I think I feel more with you than him. When he was with me, it was great but I don't feel as alive as I do with you. Somehow, I always kept thinking about you." He makes swirls in the tub with his fingers, watching the water and bubbles spin around them. "You do?" He asks. I nod, but he doesn't see it. 

"Collin..." my voice trails off, almost begging him to look at me. It's quiet for what feels like eternity, like the candles might burn out entirely before he even speaks, until he does. "Do you know that's all I've wanted, just you, all of you. I hate sharing you. I know that's what you want but I hate it. When I asked about his visit, I didn't want to know but I thought I should ask. As a courtesy..." He swirls the water still. "I know, and I didn't know what to say when you asked. But also, I kept thinking of you when I was with him. This whole thing is so fucking confusing. But I think, no, I know what I want. And I want this. I want you, not him. He's great but it's just a fling. He comes over, we cook, we hangout, we have sex, insane sex but there's nothing. I get here and you have flower petals and candles, and god I just want that. I want the storybook, tears your heart out type of love. The one where he wrote letters everyday for a year, but our parents kept us apart, the one where he stands outside the church with his bright red Porsche, or meeting at the top of the Empire State Building...I want crazy, I want you." He stays still, so incredibly still his demeanor could stop the most raging sea to mirror the sky perfectly. I feel my breath leave my lungs, feeling like they're about to shrivel up into raisins. He reaches over, grabbing my hand and pulling me toward him, breaking the stillness between us. He pulls my hips onto him, no layers this time. He holds me close, his fingers linger up and down my lower spine. "You know, I can't give you everything, I may not have the best apartment or financially afford to give you roses everyday or five-star dinners, you'll have to settle for late-night take out, long drives from city to city, but I promise to give you five-star rest-stop bathrooms and the best on-the-road playlist you've ever listened to." He chuckles, I laugh, throwing my head back, my arms around his neck, playing with his moderately wet hair.