Sorry, I Ain't Sorry

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Here lies the body of the love of my life who's heart I broke without a gun to my head. Here lies the mother of my children, both living and dead. Rest in peace my true love, who I took for granted....

Moments of silence passed.

"SORRY, I AIN'T SORRY" my voice rang out through the dark empty room, which to my surprise cracked a few times but I was too caught up in the song to care. Beyoncé's voice rang through my headphones into my ears which oddly felt like a 5-Hour Energy entering my poor system, causing my blood to rush quickly through my veins.

Now I know what you're thinking, Oop somebody broke her heart or Somebody's madddddddd.

No. In fact I'm not.

I've never been in a relationship. Yeah not me. Nor do I plan on being in any relationships any time soon because I cringe at the thought of liking someone like the kids at my school who suck each other's faces in the hallway. All that love and mushy mushy stuff is just not, what's the word? Ah yes appealing, it just isn't for me. You'd think after walking through school almost everyday you would get used to it but not I. Every time I see it I mentally gag or have the sudden urge to rip my eyeballs out, I know it seems kind of dramatic but that's just me.

Gosh I'm just rushing to give all this information.

Ok fist things first, I am Leaigh (Lay-uh) Maraigne (Ma-rain).

I am 17 years old, whoohoo yay. Notice the sarcasm, yeah no anyways I live in Salisbury, Maryland and attend high school. I live with my single, yes single (back off pervs) mom and old lazy dog who is on the verge of giving that good ole bucket a kick.

Unique fact about me. I have photophobia, which is basically a condition that makes my eyes extremely sensitive to light. As I said earlier my room is dark, even though it's 2:33 pm on a sunny Sunday afternoon. I have special blinds that don't allow sunlight to come through and when I go out I wear my black Sunglasses to protect me from the horrifying pain that would erupt in my eyes.

For example, you ever been asleep and then suddenly in the middle of the night you decide to check your phone? Yeah the pain that hits you when you realize your brightness is on 100% and it's to late to turn back now so you have to face it. Well that's what my photophobia is like, but like 10x worse and constant. Sucks right?

My house isn't completely dark but it is kind of dim, it certainly isn't one of those houses that have every freaking window all the way open. I mean geez you might as well go outside. Everyone probably thinks I'm a freak at school because I have to wear my shades all the time, I'm sorry but it's not my fault my eyes are freaking stupid and afraid of sunlight. It's almost as dumb as being afraid of your own shadow.

Moving on.

Gray is my best friend, his full name is Grayson but he says pronouncing his full name is just a waste of breath for a name that isn't even worth it. Gray is the less level headed one of us two who has a one of a kind personality and bows down to no one. You'll meet him soon, I'll remind him to be on his best behavior.

Anyway back to the present.

I lay on my bed faced up to the ceiling with my Beats cradling both sides of my head. There was no movement and just silence, in 3rd pov you may of heard the silent whispers of the music that came from my headphones and the slight noise of the air flowing from the vents of my room. The song had changed while we had our little greeting in my head, as weird as that sounds. Now an energetic beat play into my ears making my body shift and sit up.

My mom comes in so I remove one side of the headphones so I can hear, "I need you to feed Fio, I just got called into work so I will see you later." and goes out before I can even respond.

"Love you..." I mumble out to no one.

I leave out my room and trot downstairs into the kitchen. "Fio!" I call and shake the bowl of dog food out in front of me hopefully catching his attention. No response.

"Fio!"

No response.

My heart starts to beat rapidly and my stomach starts to ache violently.

I walk slowly through the kitchen and in to the living room on the other side of the hallway, which is where he always is.

"Fio....."

I stop dead in my tracks and release a breath I had been holding for what seems to be forever. Fio was looking at the space between the two shelf's that housed movie DVD's in the corner.

"Fio, come here boy!" I said in a soft voice questioning what he had been looking at. Whatever it was it was more important than Fio's second favorite thing....food.

He didn't look away from the spot so I shrugged and walked back into the kitchen where I poured the food into his bowl and stalked upstairs.

My mom hasn't returned home yet but I probably won't see her until tomorrow when I get home from school. My mom is one of those parents who just focuses on work most of the time. I think she keeps her self busy so she won't think about dad dying a few years back.

Instead of moving on she chooses to date her full-time job which leaves me......yeah just me, oh and Fio. She says that's her dog but I'm the one who has to care for him 24/7 funny how things work right?

My feet meet the cold tiles of the bathroom connected to my bedroom, I reach for the soap on the counter and wash my hands well. My attention is directed to the window beside my bed and I slide the blinds up a smidge to look outside.

After staring out for a second I let go of the blinds and go to turn around but before making a full 180 something coarse presses against my head and darkness consumes me. I don't even feel my head hit the floor.

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