twitter. | michael clifford

twenty. [m.g.c]

twenty. [m.g.c]

12 days until Sydney concert.

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My mind was just blocked full of emotions and thoughts, worried and fears. All involving Casey, I didn't want to hurt her, but I didn't want to get hurt either. I had to think of both of us in this situation. I had spent hours upon hours wondering what to do and it was blocking everything in my mind. So I didn't what I do best with my clouded thoughts, and I started writing a song.

"Tonight we're fading fast
I just wanna make this last
If I could say the things that I want to say,
I'd find a way to make you stay
I'd never let you get away
Catch you in all the games we've played

So go ahead, rip my heart out,
Show me what love's all about
Go ahead, rip my heart out
That's what love's all about"

I finished the first verse and pre-chorus, I thought about how to write the chorus. I didn't even know if she felt the same way about me as I did about her. I doubt she even know, and it hit me.

"I want you to want me this way,
And I need you to need me to stay
If you say that you don't feel a thing
If you don't know, let me go, let me go, let me go, let me go
If you don't know then just let me go"

I finished the chorus, smiling down at the page, making a mental note to finish that for tour. I had to sing Casey that the day before tour, when I tell her everything and before she goes to her new job, she has to know how I feel about her, and if that means singing about it then so be it.

I was so proud of her getting that job, it was crazy. It was her dream to tour with artists and she was being about to do it finally. It was amazing to see how happy it made her.

Casey; movies and drinks with the guys around mine? Callum wants to chill too :-)

I read the text with a smile, every text I read from her is read with a smile. I walked downstairs to see the boys watching re-runs of old cartoons like little children, Calum lying upside down on the couch with Luke in his lap and Ashton curled on the floor, they looked like toddlers.

"Casey and Callum have invited us round for drinks and movies, you coming?" I asked.

"Yeah definitely, I love Callum, he's my twin" Calum said

"You look nothing a-like" Ashton scoffed with a laugh.

"But we have the same name" Calum protested.

"It's spelt different duh" Ashton retaliated.

"Guys, no fucks given, go get sorted" I laughed stopping the pathetic disagreement going on in front of me.

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After a few hours of drinks and movies at Casey's we were all beginning to get a little tipsy.

"I'm putting some music on!" Luke announced, as hit plugged his phone into Callum's speaker system.

As we all began dancing I tried to find Casey to ask her for a dance, she wasn't in the front room with the rest of the lads so I began searching.

I walked into the kitchen and saw a sight I didn't want to see. Casey, with her lips attached to Callum's. I watched the whole kiss, and as they pulled away, the sad look on my face turned to anger as I saw them smile. Casey turned to face me, her smile fading as soon as she met my gaze.

I couldn't speak, all I could do was walk away. No sound, no tears, no expression. Nothing but a cracked heart.