twitter. | michael clifford

twenty six. [c.a.m]

twenty six. [c.a.m]

6 days until starting job

______________________________

I hadn't moved all day, and it was already 5pm. Yesterday was too much for me, Callum came home last night and attempted to talk to me, but I told him to just go out for the night and I shoved all my furniture in front of my bedroom door. And I just cried, for hours. Had this whole friendship been a lie? I was so angry! People may say how pathetic I'm being by being angry but I feel like my trust has just been shattered into little pieces.

I had to plan for this tour, I had no idea who I was going to be touring with, but I was hoping for a band, bands were easier to get along with, there was much more banter and they were less demanding than a solo performer.

Before I wasn't too excited to leave everyone behind but now I couldn't wait to just go and not see any of them again. I was just so distraught, I literally couldn't think of anything worse than how I was feeling right now. Which was such an over exaggeration because of course there were worse feelings but right now I felt like Michael had just gone ahead and ripped my heart out.

I tapped my passcode into my phone, going straight onto my photos, deleting everyone of me and him, a few tears slipping out whilst all the memories from all of the past few weeks came back to me with every picture that was deleted. My phone vibrated in my hand.

"@Michael5SOS: Love hurts, especially when you fuck it up bad:'("

I instantly clicked onto the notification and followed onto his profile, clicking on the following button, showing that I had blocked him. I then went onto my settings, changing my username to @CaseyMartin96 and having a nice pretty music themed layout.

I felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulder but I still had this pain in my chest. The pain of just being let down, stamped on and just mistreated.

After a few minutes I received a few notifications;

@5soslily_: what's going on? @CaseyMartin96? New layout?

@dimplescalum: @CaseyMartin96 why have you blocked Michael?

@ashsbum: @CaseyMartin96 has my OTP fallen out or something? Holy shit!

@Ashton5SOS: Casey talk to us:( @CaseyMartin96

I ignored them all and went back to curling up in bed. But my phone vibrated again, this time it was The Sqwad iMessage.

Dina: CASEY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?

Casey; guys :( I need you

Daisie; we're here babe

Casey: I'm so upset

Nat: what's happened babe

Casey: Michael

Kassi: what's happened omg

Sam: Casey.

Casey; get out of here.

Sam: Casey I'll go, if you promise to not say a word, please I promise I'll go.

Casey; but

Sam; I promise I'll go

Casey; fine.

Sam; okay, I love you Casey.

*sam has left the group message*

Nat; what the fuck is happening

Dina: girl I don't know.

Casey; nothing guys I'm okay I just I've missed you a lot.

I deleted 'Sams' and Michaels number, also deleting Calum's Luke's and Ashton's.

Why did I have to get in so deep with these boys? Why.

I decided that moping around wasn't going to solve my situation, I decided to have a cleanse before I went away, I grabbed the rubbish bags from downstairs and brought them up, looking at my wall covered in 5SOS posters ready to tear them down.

After blasting some music, dancing around and tearing the posters down. I looked at the rest of my room, looking at the lyric quote on my wall;

"Pick you up when you fall to pieces, let me be the one to save you"

I loved the words, I did, I couldn't get rid of them I couldn't. I kept tidying my room, becoming happier by the minUte just by being occupied.