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I Need To Be There For Him

Summary:
(Set in season 6) Ian tells Caleb about Mickey.

Word count: 583
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(Setting in Caleb's bed. Him and Ian have been dating for 2 months)

Caleb: Tell me something I don't know about you.

Ian: I'm double jointed?

Caleb: (laughs) No, dig a little deeper. Tell me something about your past.

Ian: (shrugs)

Caleb: ....... Tell me about your ex.

Ian's face went blank.

Ian: Um....

Caleb: How'd you guys break up?

Ian: Well, when I tell people that I'm bipolar, I dunno, I guess it's one thing to hear it and another to live with it. He lived with it. Mickey, that's his name. We were together even before I was diagnosed. But when I was... He took care of me. He tried to calm me down when I was having a manic episode. He made sure that I got all of my meds. And I resented him for that. You know? For caring about me. I hated him for it. I guess a part of me likes fuck-ups and likes relationships where we don't really show that we love eachother. And that's what we used to be. Then there was a whole nother side of him that was loving and caring and told me how he was feeling directly. I loved that side even more. But, I wasn't used to it. It was new, so I got scared and I guess in someway, I thought he was faking...... My moms bipolar, too. Shes unmedicated, so that basically means that she crazy. (Chuckles) She gave me some bad advice. Saying that he was trying to fix me, when that was never the case. But, I let it get to my head. I broke up with him the next day. I didn't want him to have to put up with me. He was trying to help me and I hated him for it. He loved me and I loved him and I still pushed him away. But, it seemed like a pretty good idea at the time.

Caleb: Do you still love him?

Ian: Well....... I mean, he's in jail right now for trying to kill my half sister because she tried to get me arrested for things that I did when I was unmedicated.

Caleb: Damn. Hardcore. (Laughs)

Ian: Yeah I guess.

Caleb: But, you didn't answered my question.

Ian: I went to visit him a month after he first went to jail. I promised that I'd wait for him. And that's why we can't get, like, extremely serious. You know?
He'll be in there for at least 8 years, so we can't like get married or some shit. I need to be ready for him. When he gets out, he will look for me and I need to be there for him.....
And you can break up with me if you want. But don't do it if it's because you think that I don't care about you. Or that I'm just using you to pass the time.
Because I'm not. Okay? I might even fall in love with you. But I need to be there for him. I hope that you can understand that.

Caleb: I understand that.

Ian: Thank you.

Ian dreamt of Mickey that night.

Only to wake up holding someone else's hand. Wrapped around something else. The wrong person. He will wait for Mickey for as long as it takes. Until the day where he will be cuddled in bed with the right person. Mickey Milkovich.